Cruise Line Stupids

[Zazu]

I'm cruising aboard the Disney Wonder this week, and I've been keeping a sharp eye out for new and unusual forms of guest stupidity for you.

Well, maybe "sharp" isn't the right word to describe my eye. I *have* been consuming massive quantitites of alcohol....

Yesterday's shore excursion provided the first example I've seen worthy of mention. The excursion was a bus tour of the island of Barbados, with a half dozen stops. SG climbs aboard the bus with his wife and kid -- and a big double-wide stroller that he's not all that sure how to fold.

Okay, it was a bit of a trek from the ship to the bus. But does he stow the stroller and carry his wee tot the 20 feet or so to each view point?

<Come on, let's not see the same hands all the time!>

Yes, that's right, he drags it off the bus, assembles it (right in front of the door so others are blocked inside, of course), puts the kid in, and spends perhaps thirty seconds rolling over to the edge of the cliff and back. Then it's folding time (again in front of the door) and back on again. <sigh>

I hope they charged him double. After all he *did* take up two seats!

Yeah, not all *that* stupid, but I'm guessing the *really* SGs haven't yet found out how to get off the ship. :rolleyes:

Now if y'all will excuse me, there's a fru-fru drink with a little umbrella in it that's calling my name....

Zazu,
Aboard the Disney Wonder, and wondering quite a bit!

[mechurchlady]

Sound like you are having fun. You need to check out buffets for the stupid guests who man handle the food and expect you to eat the damaged food with their finger prints on it. Watch out for the 2 ton Bessies who will talk about how they should stick to their diet while scarfing down half the desert cart. Should be some fun stupid pin traders there you could report on.

Please send a souvenir like a pin autographed by the captain, Churchy slaps forehead and sighs at thoughts of stupid pin traders.

[darph nader]

This has got to be a occupational hazard for you folks. Instead of enjoying yourselves,you are on the lookout for "idiots". :D: Hell of a way to spend you're vacation. :(

[mechurchlady]

On my trip to Encinitas I was looking for stupid guest tricks. I do not work for this site but have now some really good dumb things or annoying things. I think Zazu is having fun in the ship's bars and eating places checking for stupid guest tricks.

[BRWombat]

This has got to be a occupational hazard for you folks. Instead of enjoying yourselves,you are on the lookout for "idiots". :D: Hell of a way to spend you're vacation. :(Can't speak for Zazu, but I imagine it could be enjoyable -- spotting SG's that he doesn't have to cater to since he's off the clock!

[mechurchlady]

2 whole days and no reports from Zazu. Poor Zazu must be worn out from studying the bar scene for stupid guest trips, what a brave trooper to do that for us.

Hoping to hear from Zazu soon.

[felinefan]

Sometimes the internet connections on those ships can be spotty--satellite, obviously. I once asked him a question and he replied, saying he was on the Disney Magic and that reception was spotty. Maybe no news is good news. Perhaps he's found so much guest stupidity that he's busy writing it all down before going online with it.

[mechurchlady]

I think that based on his post recently read that he was working on quality control in the bars of the ship. Poor thing is probably too hung over to post. I just came home for a two night trip and now have for two people 4 loads of laundry to do and just caught up with some chores so it is possible that he just has not had the time to post.

I know how to get him to post. ZASU wake up.

[Zazu]

I know how to get him to post. ZASU wake up.That's ZAZU!

Now please be quiet, this aspirin bottle is making far too much noise already. :oweye:

[hobie16]

Now please be quiet, this aspirin bottle is making far too much noise already. :oweye:Did you get a visit from the hangover fairy? Which land is she from?

[mechurchlady]

That's ZAZU!

Now please be quiet, this aspirin bottle is making far too much noise already. :oweye:
Never misspell his name, lol, I knew that would wake him up.
I thought you would prefer 'hair of the dog".
They put cotton in aspirin bottles for two reasons, to keep the bottle of aspirin from rattling and secondly for shoving in the ears of hung over people. Wait how do you shove cotton in the ears of a bird?

[StephM]

Yay! I have one! I probably have more, but this one was a biggie.

I was on the 1/14-1/18 Wonder cruise. So me, cousin 1 and cousin 2 are up on Deck 4 wandering around (we were very fond of the Shutters staff and the DVC rep). We decided to head foreward for some cocktails, and as we were going through the Atrium, I saw the SGs.

SG1-Dad......putting his probably 2-3 year old princess on the pedestal with the Ariel statue. The one that is barely big enough for a kid butt.

SG2- Mom....Holding the camera.

Now, not only is there a sign that says "DO NOT CLIMB" on the statue, which, granted, maybe SG Dad thought meant "DO NOT CLIMB, BUT IF YOUR IDIOT PARENT SETS YOU ON HERE, IT IS OKAY" but after he set Princess up there......HE WALKED DOWN THE STAIRS AND STOOD NEXT TO MOM TO SEE THE PIC ON THE CAMERA PREVIEW SCREEN.

He left his little girl on the pedestal with her feet probably 4 feet off the ground and surrounding by a MARBLE floor, while he stood far enough away that had she fallen, he would have gotten over there just in time to see the blood.

We watched for a few to see what happened next, but they took her down without incident.

Not only would this have gotten an SG nod from me under normal circumstances, but this was the first night and the ship was rocking and rolling pretty good.

[jlowejd5]

Just got back from our fourth cruise. This one was chock-full of dumb. My three favorites:

1. The family of four-year-old "Randall" (names changed to protect the overwhelmingly stupid). Randall decided it would be fun to stand on his chair during one of the shows and block my view. Randall's mom spent ten minutes trying to yank him down by the arm (nearly dislocating it several times), then got bored wtih parenting or distracted by the shiny costumes and blinky lights. Randall's family also went on the 7-hour excursion to see the Tulum ruins. What fun for a four-year-old. 3:30 of travel time to see 1000-year-old buildings. But then we got a good look at the parents, and we're pretty sure they were dipping into Randall's meds. They just looked stoned.

2. The woman who, every time we saw her for the entire 7 days, was having something explained to her by a CM. Now, I think DCL does a great job of describing what's going on on the ship, but "Belinda" was always a day late and a KTTW card short. We think we finally figured it out. She's one of those people who only reads the first half of an event description, makes up the rest of it in her head, and then can't figure out why what she's seeing doesn't match what's in her empty little head.

3. The guy at the midnight dessert buffet who was using his son as a pack mule. Now, I like me some desserts, don't get me wrong. But this guy was out of control. He had taken a full piece of cake from about a dozen different flavors. On top of that, he'd stacked another dozen little snackie things. Then he handed that plate to his 10-year-old son, and started to fill up another bucket. His wife and daughter were right behind, making up their own plates. I would say, conservatively, that the four of them ended up with no less than 35 separate dessert items. WTF, people?

That said, my hat is off to the DCL CM's. I mean jebus, they're doing aerobics at the 8:15 character breakfast, they're trapped on a ship with 2700 lard-assed white people, they work for 8 months straight with no days off, and yet somehow they end up smiling and taking care of us.

Thanks to you all.

[hobie16]

The guy at the midnight dessert buffet who was using his son as a pack mule. Now, I like me some desserts, don't get me wrong. But this guy was out of control. He had taken a full piece of cake from about a dozen different flavors. On top of that, he'd stacked another dozen little snackie things. Then he handed that plate to his 10-year-old son, and started to fill up another bucket. His wife and daughter were right behind, making up their own plates. I would say, conservatively, that the four of them ended up with no less than 35 separate dessert items. WTF, people?

Were they, by any chance, overweight?

[jlowejd5]

Were they, by any chance, overweight?

No, and that's what ticked me off!! I'm fatter than they were, and I got one piece of cake and a little chocolatey-orange thing that just...ooh, drooling again...sorry...

[BRWombat]

Just got back from our fourth cruise. This one was chock-full of dumb. My three favorites:

1. The family of four-year-old "Randall" (names changed to protect the overwhelmingly stupid). ...GREAT stories, and all too common, but... why exactly do you want to protect the stupid??? :confused:

Besides, my last name is Randall. :rolleyes:

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

GREAT stories, and all too common, but... why exactly do you want to protect the stupid??? :confused:

Besides, my last name is Randall. :rolleyes:

Hmmm. Transference???:cool:

[Big Wallaby]

No, he's a marsupial. He's protected from being an idiot.

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Yet another use for the marsupial hand cream!!!!

[Kwahati]

...On top of that, he'd stacked another dozen little snackie things. Then he handed that plate to his 10-year-old son, and started to fill up another bucket. ...

Okay...I'm confused now. Granted, I don't have any, but I thought that was the whole point of having kids! They're a combination tax break, pack mule and caddy (at least when they get old enough to know the difference between a driver and a pitching wedge)! :D:

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Okay...I'm confused now. Granted, I don't have any, but I thought that was the whole point of having kids! They're a combination tax break, pack mule and caddy (at least when they get old enough to know the difference between a driver and a pitching wedge)! :D:

Thas a VERY good point, "son...go get daddy a beeerrrr!!! and some donuts!!!"

[jlowejd5]

Thas a VERY good point, "son...go get daddy a beeerrrr!!! and some donuts!!!"

See, that's why we got a dog. We're working on fetching the remote. Plus, when he's insolent, I can put him in his cage. Do that with a kid, and all of a sudden you're on the nightly news. They poop less, they're less expensive, and you don't have to send them to college.

[Princess Susi]

See, that's why we got a dog. We're working on fetching the remote. Plus, when he's insolent, I can put him in his cage. Do that with a kid, and all of a sudden you're on the nightly news. They poop less, they're less expensive, and you don't have to send them to college.

And they don't talk back and they keep your feet warm at night:D: *woof*

[Randy B]

See, that's why we got a dog. We're working on fetching the remote. Plus, when he's insolent, I can put him in his cage. Do that with a kid, and all of a sudden you're on the nightly news. They poop less, they're less expensive, and you don't have to send them to college.

The fetching is easy. Just make a doggy backpack that includes a cooler for a 6-pack, and pockets for the remotes, the wireless phone handset, etc. Then all you need to do is teach them to "come". :D:

Randy

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Or teach "rover" to drive a motorized cooler!!

[Purpura]

I don't think having a dog bring you donuts would be a good idea. He/she'd slobber on the donuts and make them unpalatable. Unless you had a cooler box that was light enough yet tough enough that you could train the dog to bring you and you keep the donuts in said box... With a dog biscuit reward...

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

I don't think having a dog bring you donuts would be a good idea. He/she'd slobber on the donuts and make them unpalatable. Unless you had a cooler box that was light enough yet tough enough that you could train the dog to bring you and you keep the donuts in said box... With a dog biscuit reward...

I HAVE seen dogs trained to bring a beer, because its sealed! no dog slobber.

[mechurchlady]

I don't think having a dog bring you donuts would be a good idea. He/she'd slobber on the donuts and make them unpalatable. Unless you had a cooler box that was light enough yet tough enough that you could train the dog to bring you and you keep the donuts in said box... With a dog biscuit reward...

I would call Katy to the kitchen and give her a zip loc bag with the donut or a prewrapped item like a candy bar. She would happily take it to my mom. If my dog could do that then a really smart dog could be trained to fetch donuts. Dogs have less germs that people lol.

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

I would call Katy to the kitchen and give her a zip loc bag with the donut or a prewrapped item like a candy bar. She would happily take it to my mom. If my dog could do that then a really smart dog could be trained to fetch donuts. Dogs have less germs that people lol.

Welcome BACK!!

[PapaMouse]

Can't speak for Zazu, but I imagine it could be enjoyable -- spotting SG's that he doesn't have to cater to since he's off the clock!

My father retired from WDW GF. Anyway one day we were visiting and trying to make our way up to the monorail station at the GF. this LARGE family was blocking the walk way, we stopped for a second thinking they would move. Nope. so my father just plowed right through saying (kinda loud) "I'm not on the clock I don't have to put up with these stupid mother F****ers"

LOL

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

My father retired from WDW GF. Anyway one day we were visiting and trying to make our way up to the monorail station at the GF. this LARGE family was blocking the walk way, we stopped for a second thinking they would move. Nope. so my father just plowed right through saying (kinda loud) "I'm not on the clock I don't have to put up with these stupid mother F****ers"

LOL

GOOD FOR HIM!!

[hobie16]

"I'm not on the clock..."
I like that!! Maui, in fact most of Hawaii, is not very technically orientated so if you have any understanding of computers, networks, the Web, etc. you get asked lots of questions. I don't mind helping people out and find it mentally stimulating.

However, I have one neighbor who corners me at parties, asks questions and then wants to argue about my response. It's kinda like the SG in another thread claiming the ride is powered by a gas engine when gravity is used.

I'd sorely like to give him the full "not on the clock" response but my wife would kill me so we've compromised. If she sees him talking to me she will immediately interrupt and drag me off to something that needs my attention.

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

I like that!! Maui, in fact most of Hawaii, is not very technically orientated so if you have any understanding of computers, networks, the Web, etc. you get asked lots of questions. I don't mind helping people out and find it mentally stimulating.

However, I have one neighbor who corners me at parties, asks questions and then wants to argue about my response. It's kinda like the SG in another thread claiming the ride is powered by a gas engine when gravity is used.

I'd sorely like to give him the full "on the clock" response but my wife would kill me so we've compromised. If she sees him talking to me she will immediately interrupt and drag me off to something that needs my attention.

Just tell him about the PEBKAC problem he has on his computer system(s), and ask him what he does to fix them!!!

[BRWombat]

Just tell him about the PEBKAC problem he has on his computer system(s), and ask him what he does to fix them!!!Yep, those can be a real PICNIC. :D:

Back to the OT, I've got a doozy of a Cruise Line SGT coming... but I'm just teasing it now. I'll post it when I get to that point in my trip report (http://wombatdisney.blogspot.com).

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Yep, those can be a real PICNIC. :D:

Back to the OT, I've got a doozy of a Cruise Line SGT coming... but I'm just teasing it now. I'll post it when I get to that point in my trip report (http://wombatdisney.blogspot.com).

Cool!!! DW and I were talking about a Disney cruise. After reading some threads here about how fun it was, we are considering it!! The other board, it seems like all everyone does is complain!

[TalkingHands]

Grumpy Pirate where can I get a copy of your Icon. I would love to enlarge to to use in the classroom. It would fit so well. Our school mascot is a pirate and as I sub in different rooms I get trespassers who want to skip their class and sit in mine. I would tack it on my board as fair warning that if they are caught I will write them up.

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Grumpy Pirate where can I get a copy of your Icon. I would love to enlarge to to use in the classroom. It would fit so well. Our school mascot is a pirate and as I sub in different rooms I get trespassers who want to skip their class and sit in mine. I would tack it on my board as fair warning that if they are caught I will write them up.

I sent you a PM of them and a site where I think you can get the metal version for about ten bucks!!

[EeyoresButterfly]

This Cruise Line SG was actually a CM. Before I get too far into my story, I should explain that I am 4'10" and generally get taken for a 12 year old. My whole trip I had guests asking me if I was old enough to be in the Quiet Cove.

So fast forward to the Pirates IN the Caribbean Night. I was standing on deck with my aunt when a CM walked up to her with a tray of red drinks and asked her if she wanted one. She declined, so I asked the CM what they were. The CM told me they were strawberry daquiris and I asked if I could have one. Without even asking for ID she told me "No," in kind of a rude voice I might add. I told her that I was indeed 21 and started fishing for my ID which was in the bottom of my purse, of course. I finally pull out my driver's license and she takes on look at it and tells me that they can only accept ID from Florida! Okay, I'm glad that she is dedicated to keeping drinks out of the hands of underage people, but at this point it's just insulting. I expalined to her that this ID had been working all trip and she finally took it and said she would talk to her manager. She also took my KTTW card to charge it (which of course has your birthdate on it). After about 5 or 10 minutes she came back with the drink, without even apologizing. It was so strong I ended up not being able to drink it anyway!

[hobie16]

This Cruise Line SG was actually a CM. Before I get too far into my story, I should explain that I am 4'10" and generally get taken for a 12 year old.
I have a friend who's in her sixties but has the voice of a twelve year old. Every time she gets on the phone to get some repairs done on her home she always gets, "Put your mother on the phone." When she explains she has a young voice they still don't want to do anything until she tells them where she lives (very expensive). Then they want to come right out and add 20% to the normal price.

I just spent three hours working on her computers. She tried to pay me but I told her I settle for dinner with her and my wife. We always have a good time.

[Big Wallaby]

Disney Cruise Lines only takes Florida ID? They must not sell much alcohol, then!

Had it been my wife so rudely treated, I think I would have asked to see the manager, show them my wife's ID, her Cast ID, her wedding ring and anything else we had that proved her adulthood (yes, I know Cast ID doesn't show age, it would have been more to say "I know how we're supposed to treat people"), then would have complained about being treated so rudely. Then I would have asked if I still had to pay for the drink, since it would be a good bribe at this point to not take it over his head :rolleyes: I wouldn't push it farther than that, but it sounds like you dealt with a waitress at the Greasy Spoon... and when you're paying cruise prices, that is unacceptable.

[ktulu]

Disney Cruise Lines only takes Florida ID? They must not sell much alcohol, then!

Had it been my wife so rudely treated, I think I would have asked to see the manager, show them my wife's ID, her Cast ID, her wedding ring and anything else we had that proved her adulthood (yes, I know Cast ID doesn't show age, it would have been more to say "I know how we're supposed to treat people"), then would have complained about being treated so rudely. Then I would have asked if I still had to pay for the drink, since it would be a good bribe at this point to not take it over his head :rolleyes: I wouldn't push it farther than that, but it sounds like you dealt with a waitress at the Greasy Spoon... and when you're paying cruise prices, that is unacceptable.

No doubt! Unless the owner/cook's name is Mel and the diner is a dive, I expect the wait staff to be pleasant and respectful. Now if the cook/owner's name IS Mel and the diner IS a dive, then I fully expect the waitress to tell me to "kiss my grits" :D:

There are some eateries at WDW that get a pass, Prime Time Cafe, Whispering Canyon Cafe come to mind.

[EeyoresButterfly]

I thought about talking to a manager, but in the end she gave me the drink and I understood why she did what she did. Plus, there were so many people on deck and you could barely hear, I didn't even catch her name because the tray blocked her nametage, I decided it wasn't worth it.

[Planner]

Ugh I know the age thing all too well. My sister is 7 years younger than me so lets see she is...about to turn 28. She is divorced professional woman who happens to not be as big as a her dear sister :mad: This past Oct when we were down at WDW we had a number of problems with CMs thinking she was a jr. I had enough when the Photopass guys kept calling her my DAUGHTER! I was polite but firm in the fact she was an adult and my SISTER. Most of them just blew if off with a "sure lady" look but one was horrified when he realized how bad all of us were insulted and was truly cool about it. I guess it does not help that my other half IS old enough to be her father


Long story short this seems to happen a lot and sister swears it happens to her daily

grumble damn little size 0:bbbat:

Ill see if I can find a photo

[Planner]

Ah one of the photos

Ugh do I truly look old enough to be her MOTHER?

whimper :marge:

[Big Wallaby]

It's not a matter of your apparent age, it's how old she looks. She looks like a teenager, maybe 15 years old. However, you do look like if you were her mom, you had her at a very early age (like, about 15 yourself). However, after my first experience with guessing the wrong relationship, I've taken to not trying to guess. And I get accused of robbing the cradle quite a bit, where people think she's ten years younger than me. So I can understand how you feel when you get that treatment. I am waiting for them to call her my daughter (which is the mistake I made my one time I opened myself up to the question). Now, if there's a reason I need to know, I ask.

[Planner]

Ha yes Steve is sure folks are giving him dirty looks for being out with someone so much younger (though its not at all unusual in the DC area) but 9 years is not much.


ha I put a lot of gray on him

But back OT my sister is horrified to think she could pass for 15 when she is almost 28. I guess in a few years she will be glad she looks so much younger

[ktulu]

She only has one eye?!?

[BRWombat]

She only has one eye?!?I kind of figured someone would go there with that joke. :D:

[ktulu]

I kind of figured someone would go there with that joke. :D:

I'll let you have it next time ;)

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Ah one of the photos

Ugh do I truly look old enough to be her MOTHER?

whimper :marge:

You do realize that no guy can really answer that question, don't you?

(thats like the jeans question!)

[Planner]

I'm a big girl if I put the statement out there in "public" I can take the answers.

Steve tells me if I ask "does this make my butt look big" then I can handle the answer and I do :p:

I guess if she looks 15 then I do look old enough to be her mom

[Big Wallaby]

You do realize that no guy can really answer that question, don't you?

(thats like the jeans question!)I thought I answered it well. I diverted all attention in the matter to her sister who looks way too young for her age, and even put something in there that hints at Planner looking five years younger than she has already told us she is. There is a way to do it.

I guess if she looks 15 then I do look old enough to be her momBut again, her mom who became a mom at a very early age.

[Planner]

Lol thank you Wallaby now I will make a point of trying to meet you when I come down.

Flattery works wonders

[Syndrome]

We just got back from Disney cruise #61 and hubby wins the prize for observing the stupidest guests on this trip. He was seeing National Treasure II in the movie theater; it was on at the same time as the Welcome Aboard show with a juggling act, which is in the main theater. Mind you, main theater is deck 4 forward and movie theater is deck 5 aft. As he was leaving the movie, Mr. SG says to Mrs. SG, "Well, that movie was okay, but where was the juggler?" They sat there two freakin' hours and never realized they were in the wrong place.

[EeyoresButterfly]

That is awesome Syndrome! Aside from constantly getting asked by guests if I was old enough to be in the quiet cove, there were no SGs (at least that I can remember). Of course, I was on my college graduation trip and not paying much attention, I was too busy having fun!

[BRWombat]

We just got back from Disney cruise #61 and hubby wins the prize for observing the stupidest guests on this trip. He was seeing National Treasure II in the movie theater; it was on at the same time as the Welcome Aboard show with a juggling act, which is in the main theater. Mind you, main theater is deck 4 forward and movie theater is deck 5 aft. As he was leaving the movie, Mr. SG says to Mrs. SG, "Well, that movie was okay, but where was the juggler?" They sat there two freakin' hours and never realized they were in the wrong place.I saw NT2 onboard, too, and I didn't see a juggler either. Where do I go to complain?

[ktulu]

I saw NT2 onboard, too, and I didn't see a juggler either. Where do I go to complain?

Come to think of it, when I went to see NT2 there wasn't a juggler there either. Granted I wasn't any where near Disney property, but they should still give me free stuff...

[Randy B]

We just got back from Disney cruise #61 and hubby wins the prize for observing the stupidest guests on this trip. He was seeing National Treasure II in the movie theater; it was on at the same time as the Welcome Aboard show with a juggling act, which is in the main theater. Mind you, main theater is deck 4 forward and movie theater is deck 5 aft. As he was leaving the movie, Mr. SG says to Mrs. SG, "Well, that movie was okay, but where was the juggler?" They sat there two freakin' hours and never realized they were in the wrong place.

When you heard that you should have pulled a few items out of your pocket and juggled them and said "I was right here in the audience the entire time". :D: Of course this only works if you know how to juggle (like I do, kinda). I learned to juggle using croquet balls. You learn REAL QUICK to get one ball out of your hand before the next one smashes your fingers. :eek:

Randy

[hobie16]

I saw a juggler at Pier 39 in San Fran juggling bowling balls. You should have seen the arms on him!!

[Randy B]

I saw a juggler at Pier 39 in San Fran juggling bowling balls. You should have seen the arms on him!!

I frequently juggle golf balls. You should see the arms on me. :eek::D:

Randy

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

I saw a juggler at Pier 39 in San Fran juggling bowling balls. You should have seen the arms on him!!

many years ago, I was there and say a guy do the chain saw, apple, and coconut juggle! he would take a bite of the apple whenever it hit!

neatest thing there!!(other than Ripleys!)

[hobie16]

I frequently juggle golf balls. You should see the arms on me. :eek::D:

Randy


The size of putters huh? :eek:

[Randy B]

The size of putters huh? :eek:

(nod) Unfortunately the "big bulging muscles" seem to have settled just north of my belt. At least I claim that the thing that is causing that portion of me to bulge over my belt is "bulging muscles". ;):D:

Randy

[hobie16]

(nod) Unfortunately the "big bulging muscles" seem to have settled just north of my belt. At least I claim that the thing that is causing that portion of me to bulge over my belt is "bulging muscles". ;):D:

Randy

You need to put a positive spin on the negatives. Try using, "If you've got a good tool, build a shed over it."