Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga [Archive]

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IndyandMarion

07-06-2004, 03:19 PM

Hey everyone. New here, but saw the premise of the site, had to join. Being a fan of Bill Engvall, I simply had to start a Disney version of his famous, Here's Your Sign series. I've collected these from friends at work. Mostly Area 60 Merchandise at the Studios (Indiana Jones Adventure Outpost and Tatooine Traders), and my area 3 (Fantasmic!). The whole thing has grown to the point to where I've actually taken the time to put these into an ever growing book.

So, here is the book:

Now for those of you who are new to this little marvel, here's the deal. Here's Your Sign was a skit originally started by Bill Engvall. In general, H.Y.S, is the "Stupid answer to the stupid question." Well, at Disney, the tradition continues. I introduced many cast members that I know to one of the greatest past times while at work which is simply a book named "Here's Your Sign: The Disney Edition" Basically, whenever we get a stupid question, we record it in the book. I swear to you these are all 100% real, nothing about the question was altered.

Ladies and Gentlemen, in the 1950s (At least introduced to Disney parks), tourists were born. In 2004, it was discovered that tourists and goldfish have something in common, they retain information for 3 seconds, which explains for their stupidity. It's amazing and confusing. Even the smartest people in the world can walk through the gates of a Disney Park, and turn into a complete idiot.

*Please note, 8 15, 16, 17, and 24 are not actual answers, just the ones we wanted to give. The rest of the list are true answers.

1. What time does the 3 o'clock parade start?
At 4 o' clock (SHE WALKED AWAY)

2. Where is the Terminator Ride?
Ok, lots of directions so you might want to write these down. Go to the exit of the park, go back to I-4 and go east bound...(This ride is at Universal Studios so, You know the rest)

3. Where is the Prime Time Cafe?
(This was actually given (as the answer): From here?
(This has to be the first time I have EVER run into a H.Y.S for an ANSWER.)

4. (Standing no more than ten feet away from a restroom) Where's the restroom?
(Pointing in the opposite direction) Down the walk way to your right.

5. (This was a TEN MINUTE ARGUMENT) Where is the boat from MAGIC KINGDOM to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS?
I believe the dock is at Animal Kingdom (The idiot, he lost the "Guest" status after the argument got passed the five second mark, finally gave up)

6. (While standing inside the shop) Where's the gift shop for Star Tours?
(Look around the shop) Sorry sir/ma'am, we don't have one.

7. (In the shop) Is this the exit for Star Tours?
No actually this is the entrance, the exit is over by the Tower of Terror

8. (No more than 20 feet away from the attraction) Where is Star Tours?
Go back to the hat, walk down Mickey Ave. to Streets of America (recently changed from New York Street), walk to the end of that and make a right, then a left. (Basically, this gives them a tour of the park, and they finally end up at Star Tours)

9. Is Rockin Roller Coaster this way? (Pointing towards Star Tours area which is on the opposite side of the park)
Yes

10. Is the Tower of Terror this way (Again pointing towards Star Tours area)
We actually don't have that anymore, it was moved to Disneyland.

11. Do you have a map? (While standing in front of a stack)
More important question, do you have a brain in your skull?

12. How do I get to the monorail to EPCOT? (Question asked at The Studios)
I'm sorry, we just finished tearing that down.

13. I was walking by the Astro Orbiter (In Tomorrowland at Magic Kingdom) and I was hoping I had misheard the group wrong. Sure enough, they said what I heard:
Oh look! There's MISSION: SPACE! (An argument then started over the location of MS, which is located at EPCOT).

14. What is the wait time for Rockin Roller Coaster? (With a sign telling the time above them in bold letters saying "Wait Time")
About 3 hours, give or take a day..

15. Where is the Backlot Express? (While HOLDING A MAP IN HER HAND, WITH IT OPEN, AND YES, STANDING IN FRONT OF THE BE)
First thing, go to lost and found and see if they found your head!

16. How much is this? (WHILE THE PRICE TAG WAS IN FRONT OF HER ON THE ITEM!)
Too expensive for you.

17. Do you think they'll have this hat at UNIVERSAL STUDIOS?
Before you look for that hat, Do they sell brains where you come from?

18. (While at the Indiana Jones Outpost...yes, at the Studios) How do I get to the MGM Studios?
Daughter: Dad, we're at MGM
Father: No, we're at Universal right now
(I was passing through the shop) I have no comment for this, other than when I walked backstage, I pulled out my pistol (At the moment I was working at the Outpost), stuck it in my mouth and hoping it would somehow fire a bullet, pulled the trigger.

19. Where is the Prime Time Cafe (Again, with a map, open and in their hands)
Its at Downtown Disney.

20 (While at the Outpost, with a MAGIC KINGDOM MAP OPEN) Where is Tom Sawyers Island?
Um, about 10, maybe 20 miles from here.

21. Announcement: " This tram goes to the main car parking lot and the complementary bus lot ONLY. We do not go to the Disney Buses" This is announced about five times. I over heard a guy in front of me ask his wife (I'm guessing)
"Does this go to the DISNEY BUSES?"

Guest 1: Guess how many people Animal Kingdom can hold.
Guest 2: How many?
Guest 1: about 40,000.
Guest 2: Oh? Here at Disney World in general
(I'm not even going to make one up. Just shoot her!!)

23. Outside of the River Rapids (A sign posted reads "Might Get SOAKED")
"Wow, lots of people are coming off here really wet"
"Really? Wow, who would've thought you could get soaked on a RIVER RAPID WATER RIDE

24. "How do we get over to that area" (Pointing to Everest, which is still UNDER CONSTRUCTION)
"Swim across the lake and hope you don't get caught"

25. Are you using these seats?"
"Nope, we're just hoarding them in case there is a chair shortage”

26. (While waiting to escort the next wheelchair party, which was located near a concession stand) "Are you in line?"
"Nope. Just a strange coincidence that I'm wearing the exact same thing as the people who work here"

27. Announcement: Due to inclimate weather, this performance of the Disney Stars and Motorcars Parade, has been cancelled.
"Why has the parade been cancelled?"
"Because we didn't feel like having it"

28. *Stage manager comes on the intercom at Fantasmic*
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do have some unwanted news. At this time, the show has been postponed due to lightning in the area. The reason because of this is for the safety of our cast and guests."
(Place was dead silence during the announcement) No more than 10 seconds later, I get the question...
"Why was the show delayed?"

30. "I have a question. What time do they roll the EPCOT ball out?"
Sir, the Spaceship Earth is stationary
Yeah, what time do they bring it out?
"6:30"

If your ever at Fantasmic! Look for the one with the Mickey Hands and ask if that person is Indy...cause that's me.

coldfire409

07-06-2004, 08:34 PM

Position: Greeter
Location: The Great Movie Ride

Guest: Is this a ride?
Me: No this is a show we only call it The Great Movie Ride to confuse you

Though I have never answered the question this way I wanted to many times.

Position: Gangster
Location: The Great Movie Ride

This one isn't necessary a H Y S as it's just a stupid comment from a guest

Parent to child: Don't be afarid of the gun it's just plastic.

Meanwhile I take shot 1 and a huge spark comes out of it. Just for the record those firearms are real. Security cannot even handle them.

IndyandMarion

07-06-2004, 08:39 PM

The day I quit working at Disney is the day they let those Rent A Cops carry or even get near a gun, plastic or real.

Does anyone know what their purpose is other than to give the illusion that they are worth something? Cause they sure has heck don't make me feel safe.

And those "Undercover RACs"? Yeah, right :rolleyes:

I'm going to add that one to the book.

Here's a question that I ask a lot of CMs over there, how's business been ever since they blew up the boss's hat and put it in front of GMR?

coldfire409

07-06-2004, 08:52 PM

As far as the hat goes it's hard for me to say. I started over there after that damn hat went up. Some people say that it hasn't made a diffrence, but who knows for sure.

As far as the RAC goes, they are worthless. For security I take care of myself. Because I know that if I call security they will take 20-30 mins to show up.

IndyandMarion

07-06-2004, 09:00 PM

Geez. Has it been THAT long since they put the hat up? I looked at your avi and saw what it was. Hard to believe that it was nearly three or four years ago when they started putting that thing up.

Kinda sad that the hat marked the end of the largest Hidden Mickey.

IndyandMarion

07-09-2004, 06:38 PM

Guest: Which way to the monorail?
Me: We dont have a monorail here at the Studios
Guest: Yes you do! I came here this morning on one!
Me: Oh, we tore that one down a few hours ago.

Im not lying on this...

Guest: What?
Me: Here's Your Sign. You either drove, took a bus or took the boat to get here. We don't have a monorail here at the Studios.

2. From a friend at the Animation Tour shop
Guest: Can I get to the TERROR OF TOWER (What the guest actually called it) cutting through here?
Her(Friend): Sure, as long as you don't get caught.
Guest: Why? It shows a walkway leading from here to the Tower.
Her: Really? Can you show me on the map?
Guest: Looked for it) Oh, I see the walkway now...

3. Same guy from earlier:
Guest: Is this the line for SpectroMagic? (Asking about the Line for Fantasmic....for those of you who aren't WDW savvy, SpectroMagic is a parade at Magic Kingdom...Fantasmic! is at the Studios....theres a 10-15 mile difference between the Studios and the MK park itself)
Me: Nope, this is the line for that monorail we tore down earlier.

IndyandMarion

07-22-2004, 02:10 PM

At Rock n Roller Coaster

Guest-Is this a roller coaster?
Me-Nope, this is actually a tour of a record studios, hopefully you'll be able to catch Aerosmith before they take off for their concert tonight.
(Note: We play it off like it isnt a roller coaster but a tour since that's how the attraction starts off as)

While sitting in the limo seat (With the harness down, not the same person as before)
-Is this a roller coaster?
-Nope, this is just an accelerated version of our tour.
(Youd figure the harness would give away the answer)

Quick fun fact. You know the harness? Screw em, you dont need it. The way the ride is set up is on cyntrifical force so in all reality, you wouldn't fall out of your seat at all...provided we didn't have an emergency stop...then that would be bad.

IndyandMarion

08-19-2004, 11:05 AM

Is there a parade? (People are lined up along the street)
Nope, we just like to see how many people we can get to stand on the side of the street from time to time.

Is there a parade? (I know, same question, different situation)
(The parade is no more than 30 yards away from the location and the music is on)
Nope, the streets on fire and we're clearing the street because of it.

Is Back to the Future near Tower of Terror.
Sorta. Do you have a car?
Whats that got to do with anything?
Because youll need to it drive to Universal to ride Back to the Future.

-Ok, Im trying to get to Epcot. I know there's a monorail from Epcot to Magic Kingdom, but.
-STOP! Right there, the answer is no.
-How rude, you dont even know what I was going to ask.
-Given the situation, your about to ask if we have one from the Studios to Epcot.
-How did you know?
-Im physic, here's your sign.

-( From a friend) (At EPCOT at 7:30....pm) Im trying to get to the monorail for Animal Kingdom to watch the fireworks at Animal Kingdom.
-Im sorry ma'ma but the monorail has stopped running due to technical problems and the fireworks were at 4:30....
-Oh? I was over there around that time...
-Ugh. Ma'ma, there isnt a monorail at AK and there arent any fireworks due to the animals...

fantoongal

09-22-2004, 01:21 PM

This is the kinda of stuff that makes me question human intelligence.

Guest: How long are your foot long hot dogs?
Me: 12 inches.
Guest: 12 inches *thinking* So that's like a foot right?

Here's your sign!

-ftg

IndyandMarion

09-22-2004, 04:18 PM

I'm back! I've been working over at G-Force Records the past few weeks (Uh, thats Rock n Roller Coaster for those who didn't know what G-Force is). Plus it gives me a chance to use my nickname "Indy" like every second of the day. A-Anyways, sure enough, the stupidity continues. I give you...

Here's Your Sign: The Rock n Roller Coaster Edition...

Welcome to G-Force Records. In just a few moments the doors to Studio C will open toward you. That's where the band Aerosmith have been laying down a few tracks before they head off to their concert tonight. Should they still be inside, please no flash photography or video taping at any time. Also when the doors do open please move all the way to the left filling in all the available space. Well, I think that about covers it. That's the business, Rock on. Oh! I almost forgot. I hope you enjoy your three hour tour here at G-Force Records where we're turning the music industry....up...side...down.

Is this Rock n Roller Coaster?
-Nope, this is actually Star Tours

Is the wait time actually ten minutes?
-Actually it was about thirty minutes ago, now its about an hour wait.

Is the coaster inside? (Referring to the fact that you can't see it.)
-Nope, its invisible.

(In the courtyard there is a GIANT Les Paul for those of you who have never been to RRC. The arm of the guitar morphs outward into a track like look with a car at the end of the "track." The car never moves and it is clearly visible that it is not the coaster)
Is that part of the track?
-Yes, the track just magically appears out of no where at a certain point and then disappears again.

(Asking about the "3 hour tour" comment)
This is Rock n Roller Coaster correct?
-No this is an actual 3 hour tour

Is Aerosmith actually here everyday?
-Yes, Their career is completely finished so they come in every day and record songs here at the coaster.

Does this roller coaster have any loops? (After reading a sign saying that this ride contains high speed loops, sudden drops and stops.)
-Nope, as a matter of fact, this isn't even a roller coaster.

*And Yes, the intro is what I say on a daily basis when Im working at Studio B.

IndyandMarion

10-04-2004, 09:32 AM

Does the Great American Adventure Ride have fastpass?

Now I thought she might have been talking about the American Adventure over at EPCOT (This was asked at MGM, Coaster).

I thought for a moment seriously thinking she might be thinking about that or GMR.

You sure thats the name?
Yes, it's here at MGM.
It's not the American attraction at EPCOT?
No, ITS THE ONE HERE
Ma'ma, we dont have a ride here at the Studios by that name
YES YOU DO IT'S BEHIND THE HAT.
So I proceeded to pull out a map sitting on top of the Fastpass machine and said "Ok, then please show me where it is on the map"

She searched for it and said thats it! (pointing to GMR).
Ok, so your Great American Adventure Ride is the Great Movie Ride, no they dont have fastpass.

What pissed me off was that she was like five inches from my face and started yelling at me and calling me a liar....it happens all the time I know....but that is one thing you DONT do to me before 10 am...otherwise, your on the ride to hell and Ill kill you....Im not a morning nor a ****ing people person before 10 am.

GMC

10-04-2004, 11:38 PM

IndyandMarion

10-05-2004, 03:50 AM

Whoa. In the words of Capt. Barbossa:

There be a lot of long words in there, miss. (Disreguard last part if you are in fact, a male)

Its that or its just really early in the morning, I've got the day off and I haven't had food yet.

Main Streeter

10-05-2004, 04:58 AM

florida guests must be stupider than CA,
No GMC, don't think the above could be true :!: The more stupid a guest is, the more likely he/she/it is to be roaming DLR in CA. God just sends all the STUPID GUESTS to Anaheim FIRST. Think we at DLR are a testing ground. :wink:

Stduck

10-05-2004, 08:00 AM

GMC

10-06-2004, 02:00 AM

florida guests must be stupider than CA, i've only had one guy argue with me over the name of a location, "Le Batton Rouge" (i don't spell or speak in french so bear with me) but he insisted the it was "le rouge en bat" and i almost got into with him about how it was very quite possibly my favorite store in the park, and how french (i'm pretty sure) scentence structure is similar to spanish, in then to say the red bat, you state the subject then the adjective to describe it, so it would read, in direct translation, the bat red, meaning the bat that is red, or simplyfied the red bat. but no, i showed him the exit to my train and gave him directions to le batten rouge (i know i'm inconsistant with my spellage, don't worry about it.) I'm pretty sure he was trying to piss me off the way his wife was prompting him to shut up, but still, he earned his sign.
Baton Rouge is the Capital of Louisiana. So Le Bat en Rouge is not only about a red bat but a play on words as well. Since here at Disney people like to do that. Yeah everyone at Mansion holiday needs a sign too. Where's the fastpass?
Where's the stand-by line? (line isn't out the gate)
Will this scare my child? I don't know your child how would I know
well he guy was still wrong, and even tho i like that store out of all the others, [cue sarcasam] doesn't mean i know every little detail about it, GOSH, i mean jeez, it's been two years since i actually went and shopped there!, and whats the deal with telemarketers these days, ever since i joined that do not call list, they don't call, who am i supposed to mess with on the phone now? i guess i'll have to continue to call the jungle cruise, insist my name is muffin, and insist to speak with a skipper names Charolette! Yes Skippers, that was me, a member of your own department! i was even on your docks yesterday! ahhchahchahcha cha! now i will conintune to go further and further off suject, and into the human psyche! :throw: :shock: :? :( :cry: DON'T LOOK AT ME OR TALK TO ME!!! runs away crying....

Zazu

10-06-2004, 11:05 AM

GOSH, i mean jeez, it's been two years since i actually went and shopped there!, and whats the deal with telemarketers these days, ever since i joined that do not call list, they don't call, who am i supposed to mess with on the phone now? i guess i'll have to continue to call the jungle cruise, insist my name is muffin, and insist to speak with a skipper names Charolette! Yes Skippers, that was me, a member of your own department! i was even on your docks yesterday! ahhchahchahcha cha! now i will conintune to go further and further off suject, and into the human psyche! :throw: :shock: :? :( :cry: DON'T LOOK AT ME OR TALK TO ME!!! runs away crying....
Yup, one of us. No doubt about it. http://figzu.com/smilies/notallthere.gif

Stduck

10-06-2004, 11:15 AM

Yup, one of us. No doubt about it. http://figzu.com/smilies/notallthere.gif
Hehehe. Yup I did like what Dustin said Mansion California used to do to Mansion Florida till they found out it was us. I think this is a Here's Your Sign for us employees. According to Dustin after we obtained the number to Mansion Florida, Mansion California would call Mansion florida and say something to the effect of "Hi, this is so in so from the info board. Is your attraction running?" "Yes" "Then you better go catch it" click. This suposidily continued for weeks till Florida figured out it was California and sent nasty interdepartment mail with cut out letters that read "We know who you are" Needless to say I wanna call Florida just to say hi, but I am always there after MK is closed.

coldfire409

10-06-2004, 06:59 PM

Ok, today I had another GMR Here's your sign

Going into Casablanca the scene shown is the end of the movie with Humphry Bogard talking to Ingrid Bergman just before she gets on the airplane. A guest says "Oh my favorate, Gone With the Wind." I look at her and said, yeah those civil war aircraft sure helped the union win the war didn't it.

Here's your sign.

Going into The Wizard of Oz, another guest claimed it was How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Now I don't know about you, but munchkinland doesn't quite look like Jamaica.

Main Streeter

10-06-2004, 07:31 PM

IndyandMarion

10-06-2004, 08:19 PM

Now I don't know about you, but munchkinland doesn't quite look like Jamaica.
Im going to hell for this one but its nothing new. But youve got to figure that Jamaica could look like munchkinland in you were on the reefer.

Speaking of a book. Ive actully got a book of the ones Ive posted sitting somewhere at the WDW Fantasmic break room for ops. Its sorta old since I havent been there in like two months so it needs to be updated. But the Disney Saga is a true blue book at this point.

coldfire409

10-06-2004, 09:21 PM

I would like to see the book, but I cannot for the life of me remember where the Fantasmic breakroom is. For the 4 months I spent at coaster I delivered schedules over there before, but I cannot remember where it's at. Just the next time you go over there put in the one about Casablanca because I think that's the funniest. Well time for me to go shortly I have some guests to shoot tomorrow. I got gangster again. Not too many HYS in gangster, but there are enough every once and a while. The only good thing is that the pistols have had a good cleaning lately and they are louder than ever.

IndyandMarion

10-06-2004, 09:32 PM

Well basically the book that is/was in the trailer (They rearranged the room and there arent that many people in the crew that know about the book (New hires, snowbirds).

But basically if you want the book, its just the first post I made in the topic and what ever others I have posted.

GMC

10-07-2004, 01:21 AM

we call the trains at WDW from main street everyonce in a while, and chat. I should call Dinosaur from indy tower sometime, and discuss where their vehicles time out and stuff, see if there's a pattern. (for those of you out of the loop, Dinosaur is an Indy clone, it's indy zone per zone, -100ft of track, they tested the vehicles on our track, and thier tower is where ours, appearently, was supposed to be, i've heard it's lees exciting than ours though... oh how i long to visit the WDW resort!

leftcoaster

10-07-2004, 03:56 AM

DisneyLover

11-07-2004, 04:50 PM

Main Streeter

11-07-2004, 05:11 PM

If your ever at Fantasmic! Look for the one with the Mickey Hands and ask if that person is Indy...cause that's me.
If I'm ever at Fantasmic, I hope I never see you. You seem to be an extremely miserable human being and you should be ashamed of yourself for the attitude you display. If you are so unable to deal with people in perhaps one of the most customer service oriented positions in the world, you should quit and find something more to your liking.
WTH is in the water & air today??? & it's Sunday, too!! Really nasty posters here today. :throw: Wat up with these newbee tudes? God, think I'll return to DLR & asked to be bashed by guests. At least this will be face to face. DisneyLover.... never mind. I'd strongly suggest a name change tho :bang:

SRT_GB

11-07-2004, 05:59 PM

DisneyLover

11-07-2004, 07:49 PM

WTH is in the water & air today??? & it's Sunday, too!! Really nasty posters here today. :throw: Wat up with these newbee tudes? God, think I'll return to DLR & asked to be bashed by guests. At least this will be face to face. DisneyLover.... never mind. I'd strongly suggest a name change tho :bang:
And why should I change my name? I love Walt Disney World. I understand completely the need to vent after working with the general public. Mr. IndyandMarion is just way over the top and really should think about a career change.

Oh, and I may be a newbie to this board, doesn't mean I'm a newbie to the world.

DisneyLover

11-07-2004, 07:55 PM

It is absolutely ludicrous to ask a Disney CM to go into work and "just deal with it." I know that a lot of people there hate the job, but I know that a lot of them love it too. And I seriously doubt that people who love the job love it because of the guests who think it's their right to be stupid. Even the nicest, most genuinely kind CM I worked with shared stories with me of guests he couldn't stand dealing with.
It is not at all ludicrous to expect Disney CM's to treat guests in a respectable manner. If you must vent your frustrations, do so behind the scenes. IndyandMarion seems to make it a point to ridicule and mock the guests at every turn. THAT is what I find uncalled for. As a Disney shareholder, I'm disgusted to read the things he posted and I'm quite sure his bosses would not think highly of his statements, either.

Zazu

11-07-2004, 08:47 PM

OMG, this is GREAT :lol: My Disney laugh for the day Coldfire409. This stuff couldn't be scripted by screenwriters. We need to put all this GUEST STUPIDITY into a best seller :wink: Too funny!
Some of us are working on that, seriously. Well, at least as seriously as one can be while reading this stuff.

Zazu

11-07-2004, 08:55 PM

Wendy Peffercorn

11-07-2004, 09:18 PM

Stduck

11-08-2004, 12:37 AM

-Rolls her eyes- Ok Disneylover, I don't know Indy but well He seems like many I work with. Enjoy their job but when things get too hot we need to let off some steam (kind of like the steam trains....). I believe Zazu pointed this out...This is StupidGuestTricks, the point of this site is for us to share our stories and hopefully make our days at DLR, WDW, or DLP a little better. Everyone has a bad day (even Mickey I am sure) and while we hide it on stage we need a place where we can cry, yell, scream and just tell someone else so we feel better.

Just chill Disneylover.

Main Streeter

11-08-2004, 03:00 AM

As a Disney shareholder, I'm disgusted to read the things he posted and I'm quite sure his bosses would not think highly of his statements, either.
Gotcha! We ALL understand now! :Flame:

DisneyLover

11-08-2004, 05:21 AM

If I'm ever at Fantasmic, I hope I never see you. You seem to be an extremely miserable human being and you should be ashamed of yourself for the attitude you display. If you are so unable to deal with people in perhaps one of the most customer service oriented positions in the world, you should quit and find something more to your liking.
Welcome to Stupid Guest Tricks, DisneyLover.

Please note that this is a place for Cast Members (and others in similar roles) to blow off steam about stupid guests. It's what we do here. If nothing else, it helps us keep a lid on things when we're on stage.

This is not a place for non-cast to bash CMs for blowing off steam. Note the title of this site -- it's not "Share the Magic," it's not "Pixie Dust Central," it's "Stupid Guest Tricks."

If you have trouble understanding that, "you should quit and find something more to your liking."

Please don't make me ban you.

Zazu, Moderator,
Stupid Guest Tricks
Oh my God, I'm being threatened with banishment! :(

It seems you have trouble understanding what I've posted. To treat guests the way IndyandMarion claims he does is disgusting. If he's not capable of handling himself in a more decent manner until he can vent his frustrations in private, then he has no business being in his postion. He's either lying in his posts or he is not capable of "keeping a lid on things while he is onstage". And if he can't handle the role of CM, he'd better hope he never gets fired or leaves and has to work a job with real stress. The same can be said of anyone like him. I've been on both sides of the fence, some people are able to handle it, some aren't.

To paraphrase another poster, he should walk a mile in the guests' shoes before he ridicules them. Disney World is sensory overload to the nth degree and even the most intelligent people are apt to get confused every once in a while. To belittle them for asking what may be obviously ridiculous questions is just immature and obnoxious.

If this board is supposed to be for cast members only, then you should make it a private board.

Ban me, if you'd like. Use your moderator powers to solve the problem instead of looking inside and seeing what the real problem may be.

leftcoaster

11-08-2004, 06:40 AM

Oh my God, I'm being threatened with banishment! :(

It seems you have trouble understanding what I've posted. To treat guests the way IndyandMarion claims he does is disgusting. If he's not capable of handling himself in a more decent manner until he can vent his frustrations in private, then he has no business being in his postion. He's either lying in his posts or he is not capable of "keeping a lid on things while he is onstage". And if he can't handle the role of CM, he'd better hope he never gets fired or leaves and has to work a job with real stress. The same can be said of anyone like him. I've been on both sides of the fence, some people are able to handle it, some aren't.

To paraphrase another poster, he should walk a mile in the guests' shoes before he ridicules them. Disney World is sensory overload to the nth degree and even the most intelligent people are apt to get confused every once in a while. To belittle them for asking what may be obviously ridiculous questions is just immature and obnoxious.

If this board is supposed to be for cast members only, then you should make it a private board.

Ban me, if you'd like. Use your moderator powers to solve the problem instead of looking inside and seeing what the real problem may be.
Hey "Disney Lover"

If you don't like this site, then leave and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

If you don't like IndyandMarion or the other CM's here, then why don't you use your shareholder money to buy the rights to Disney, build your own theme park, stock it with CMs that you think are worthy, and make sure that only "Disney Lover's" are allowed into the park.

DisneyLover

11-08-2004, 08:31 AM

You people just don't get it. You are either too ignorant or too arrogant to understand what I am saying. I will no longer waste my time arguing the point.

Enjoy your miserable jobs and I hope someday you are on the receiving end of IndyandMarion's behavior.

Sweetums

11-08-2004, 08:58 AM

Enjoy your miserable jobs
It's too early in the morning for irony. :rolleyes:

Stduck

11-08-2004, 09:21 AM

I do enjoy my "miserable" job. I also have walked MANY miles in the guest shoes. (I was a guest for years till I became a CM (heck I was a legoland MC before I was a CM)). I have also been on the recieving end of bad guest service (not from Disney, I learned early to give those in guest service a break), it makes it hard to help a guest sincerely when they are rude from the beginnging. I think Polar pointed this out on another thread. Those who are polite and undemanding I feel more then happy to go out of my way for them, to those who treat me like shit from the get go, I am courteous but I keep the encounter brief.

From what I have read of Indy's posts he just gets to the breaking point with a CERTAIN situation. A lot of the responses he notes were never given just things CMs would love to say. I have my good days and I have my bad days we all do. For the love of God we're human. I see this thread possibly going to be locked now (which sucks btw cause I enjoyed Indy's witty humor and great stories)

gurgi

11-08-2004, 09:24 AM

look, how someone acts, and how someone is on the job isnt always the same. im sure you sit around in the breakroom and talk crap about your bosses and so on......EVERY employee does it. its no different, jsut ona larger scale. so just calm down disney lover, and if you dont want to ruin "the magic" for yourself, dont come here. plain and simple, every employee deserves to let some steam off and compare stories with others. so...let it go, and if you want to talk about immature behavior..lets talk about trying to pull rank (not like you could do anything anyway, so who really cares if you are a shareholder or not), its pointless and very very lame.
so like i said, let it go, no one says you should be fired for saying things you say about the people you work with, im sure.

DizneyDad59

11-08-2004, 09:33 AM

Hey, when I signed on to this as a non-CM it was only to lurk and enjoy. I thought it would be fun to see what you folks say when you're offstage, as it were. I also figured it wouldn't take too long before some non-CM with a major 'tude would begin to tell you folks how to live your life. Personally, I find it entertaining, this person who feels the need to butt in and lecture the CMs.
I am about to take my 7th trip to WDW. I have always had wonderful experiences with every CM at every park, resort, restaurant...anywhere and everywhere in WDW. Aside from providing assistance at least head and shoulders above any other place I've ever been, I have many stories of CMs who probably went above and beyond what they were supposed to do to help me. And, no doubt, I may have earned a sign or 2 along the way.
I am grateful for every kindness extended and I am delighted you CMs have this safe place to vent and have some fun at our expense. I have no idea how you hold it all together onstage, but I am forever in your debt.
And this next trip I'll have even more fun knowing you folks are mentally collecting 'here's your sign' stories. Thanks again. And with respect to this website, take no prisoners! Thay can take a joke or take a hike. :D

SRT_GB

11-08-2004, 09:41 AM

To treat guests the way IndyandMarion claims he does is disgusting. If he's not capable of handling himself in a more decent manner until he can vent his frustrations in private, then he has no business being in his postion.
What's worse, the way some CMs treat and/or talk about guests, or the way the Disney corporation tries to squeeze out every single last penny from those same guests while cost-cutting like no other in an effort to line the pocketbooks of shareholders such as yourself?

Sweetums

11-08-2004, 09:46 AM

gurgi

11-08-2004, 10:26 AM

as much as i enjoy this site.........by the way, Indy.....its not a les paul in front of rockin rollercoaster...its actually a giant fender stratocaster.
anyway please continue. i never worked directly (i guess is how youd put it) i worked for ESPN for a time, if only they had an ESPN HATE YOUR BOSS board to vent on. oh well...i have been going to disney all my life at least once a year. so thanks CMs, and i too am glad you have this board to vent on...better here then in front of the children!
later guys, and keep it up!

p.s. in your spare time...someone please someone find a way to get rid of eisner and his cronies...thanks

ThenIDrifted

11-08-2004, 10:37 AM

*hands up* Please don't shoot, I'm friendly LOL.

First of all, I want to let ya'll know that the newbies coming in here (myself included) are all flocking in cause this site was mentioned on a couple pro-disney message boards, so if you were wondering what happened, that's it.

I however am so glad this place exists! I have been looking forever for a site like this. I used to be a Disney Store CM back when they first opened (worked at the first two in the state, escorted Mickey opening day, the works) and they put us through Traditions and all like they did for the parks, and I have also been do WDW more than 40 times as a guest and almost transferred to the Studios when I was working at the stores so I feel kindred to you all.

I think this site is hilarious! It reminds me of the one out there my husband likes to read by a guy who works at Walmart. I totally agree that this is the place to post your vents to that you can unload them among those who understand and not on the guests. For those who can't understand that...well, they just don't know what it's like.

If you don't think that being a DS CM can be stressful, at least it used to be back when they expected us to be just like park CM's...let me tell you a story about the time a lady bought her 4 year old a bottle of "pixie dust" glitter and said "Now this nice lady will explain to you why you can't use it to fly." then pushed the kid toward me.

I thought quickly and said, "Um, because...it's...used? Yeah, that's it. Tinkerbell already used it, and this is like what was left over so it won't make you fly so don't jump off anything, okay?"

Both mother and child were satisfied with the response.

Rock on, people, and sign me...

"I used to be Snow White, but then I drifted." (~Mae West quote) I hope you won't mind if I hang out here.

Am back to WDW in a couple days and hope that i won't do anything to anybody that will end up here LOL.

Stduck

11-08-2004, 11:15 AM

p.s. in your spare time...someone please someone find a way to get rid of eisner and his cronies...thanks
Oh if only it were that easy......(And what is this spare time thing you speak of?). I want to extend a thanks to Gurgi, DizneyDad, and ThenIDrifted for backing us up. Thank you guys!

gurgi

11-08-2004, 11:47 AM

And what is this spare time thing you speak of?
oh yeah i forgot. i had been doing the two job thing for more then 2.5 years (i quit my night job last week), but part of that time was my ESPN stint...now we had a minimum of two days of 12 hour shifts...so basically mandatory overtime.....whats your minimum number of days for mandatory overtime (if there is such a thing for you) working directly under the mouse?

BRWombat

11-08-2004, 11:48 AM

Wow, "DisneyLover" sure does know how to win friends and influence people, huh? About the only way he could make his viewpoint less credible here would be to claim to be a relative of Michael Eisner with an AP and a need for a "front of the line pass." <snerk>

Hey, when I signed on to this as a non-CM it was only to lurk and enjoy. I thought it would be fun to see what you folks say when you're offstage, as it were. I also figured it wouldn't take too long before some non-CM with a major 'tude would begin to tell you folks how to live your life. Personally, I find it entertaining, this person who feels the need to butt in and lecture the CMs. ... I am grateful for every kindness extended and I am delighted you CMs have this safe place to vent and have some fun at our expense. I have no idea how you hold it all together onstage, but I am forever in your debt.

And this next trip I'll have even more fun knowing you folks are mentally collecting 'here's your sign' stories. Thanks again. And with respect to this website, take no prisoners! Thay can take a joke or take a hike. :D
Wow, I wish I'd said that! Very well stated, DizneyDad. I've had the same thought, too, about my next trip to WDW next March. It somehow makes the trip that much more interesting knowing that there is this dark undercurrent of CM's venting their frustrations offstage so that they can maintain the magic onstage. And there will be an "edge" to my enjoyment, wondering if something dumb I say (it's been known to happen) will end up being quoted here!

All you CM's, please, vent away! You've earned the right.

Zazu

11-08-2004, 01:53 PM

I see this thread possibly going to be locked now (which sucks btw cause I enjoyed Indy's witty humor and great stories)
Not to worry. Locking a thread happens when things drift too far off topic. Seems to me this thread has become all the more about Stupid Guest Tricks! http://figzu.com/smilies/moon.gif

leftcoaster

11-08-2004, 04:08 PM

When I first got on here, I also got a little "excited" with IndyandMarion regarding what guests call certain attractions. When it was explained to me what the reason this mb exists (not that www.stupidguestricks.com isn't obvious), I also have begun to laugh at the stories. I especially liked the "Clumping" thread. ROFL!

You guys and gals do a hell of a lot for not a lot of money. My wife and I appreciate that and have begun to give CM compliments at City Hall (or guest relations) at WDW.

Oh if only it were that easy..... (And what is this spare time thing you speak of?). I want to extend a thanks to Gurgi, DizneyDad, and ThenIDrifted for backing us up. Thank you guys!
Well, I did back you up too. See my reply to 'disneylover.' :)

CujoSR

11-08-2004, 06:35 PM

DisneyLover,
If you have a problem with the site or anyone's actions you need to talk to me or one of our moderators in private. Keep the complaints off the site. My email is cujosr@stupidguesttricks.com

Stduck

11-08-2004, 08:55 PM

Well, I did back you up too. See my reply to 'disneylover.' :)
Sorry Leftcoaster! (I must of missed you) I will extend my thanks too! And to Gurgi, Disney doesn't require us to do overtime unless all people of lower seniority are utilized first (as in daily OT and 6th/7th day OT)

GMC

11-08-2004, 10:02 PM

Indy, i like your stories, and i have no problem with how you treat the few and far between idiots. My favorite, by far, was the one about the girl with three silver spoons in the back of her mouth that hated lines, Aerosmith, and roller coasters, i probly hate her, because i kinda like lines, as long as they move (even if they move slow), and i love coasters and Aerosmith. stupid girl. As far as any of us letting out our frustrations behind the scenes, i'd have to say, the comfor t of my own home, is about as behind the scenes as it gets.

thundercatjamie

11-11-2004, 09:38 PM

It is not at all ludicrous to expect Disney CM's to treat guests in a respectable manner. If you must vent your frustrations, do so behind the scenes. IndyandMarion seems to make it a point to ridicule and mock the guests at every turn. THAT is what I find uncalled for. As a Disney shareholder, I'm disgusted to read the things he posted and I'm quite sure his bosses would not think highly of his statements, either.
I don't think Indy is actually responding this way to guests. If you took some time to read them the ones that he actually said to guests would be a funny comedic reply. This is an off stage area and he can post however he pleases. Sometimes the only thing you can do is joke with the guests. Believe me, sometimes a joke between guest and cast will keep both smiling. We are normal people believe it or not. While we are supposed to be show-ready, so long as we are not insulting the guests, you can be a regular person to them if you need to. Also his bosses probably have the funniest of stories, mine sure do. This is not being presented to a guest area so please do not act like we are all supposed to be perfect offstage.

Thatguy

11-15-2004, 03:01 PM

I as well would like to thank all those non CMs who understand the purpose of this site.

and I must say that I'm glad that this site isn't strictly CMs for the reasons of sharing info with guests (yes, for those that haven't noticed we do still answer questions about the parks here) and the fact that other CM only sites don't really stay active enough for discussion, for example see the site that ends in eens.com.

so once again thank you SGT

AllisonY2K

11-16-2004, 03:39 AM

I would also like to post in support of CMs. I'm sure this site is only a fraction of what all CMs deal with regularly, and frankly it's pretty damn funny! Keep up the good work, y'all. :D

gurgi

11-16-2004, 05:55 AM

where did all the "here's your sign" posts go? as much as its nice to see everyone supporting everyone, id like to read about more "signs" too!
:wink:

thundercatjamie

11-16-2004, 08:35 PM

Well of all the stupid questions the one that i heard more than once today was this: "How do I get to the Magic Kingdom"

The first person to ask had the words Fantasyland and Magic Kingdom confused.

The second guy was dead set on the fact that because he couldn't see the castle he was no longer in the Magic Kingdom. He had gotten off the train and wound up "somewhere else." After much debate I sent him back to train station.

On a sorta unrelated note did everyone like the castle? I can't seem to get the image to upload.

IndyandMarion

11-20-2004, 05:25 PM

where did all the "here's your sign" posts go? as much as its nice to see everyone supporting everyone, id like to read about more "signs" too!
:wink:
I'll get to that in a second. WARNING: Attack immanent...

First: Like the song goes, I'm back in the saddle again! But what it doesn't say, is that I've got a LOT of items to cover, so get a bag of chips, beer/cola, sit down and for your safety, keep your head, arms, feet and legs, inside the car while it is in motion.

Second: Disneylover, Who in the blue hell are you? Well, I can figure that one out, IT DOESNT MATTER WHO YOU ARE (Oh yes WWE fans, I just did).

Third: If you would actually take time to read the first part of the book, you would have seen that it in fact did say, that there are a few replys that weren't said, but thought. However, as the rule states to doing these, if you actually say one, then you tell the person it was a joke (Which you apparently can't take), and give them the right answer.

Fourth: Reffering to the last statement, if you can't take these as a joke, you don't need to be here.

Fifth: As far as your comment about my "Bosses" (Correctly called Leaders or Managers in the Disney language), they actually get a kick out of these and understand the concept. Therefor, they don't care about myself and those I know doing this as long as the rules we have set are kept up.

Sixth: Disney shareholder? Your point? It seems to me that because you are a shareholder, it makes you better than others connected to the company? Naha, not going to happen.

Seventh: Vent frustrations? Where was this established? I (As anyone will tell you that knows me) am a very laid back guy, joking is my style and what may surprise you is that a lot of the guests actually get a chuckle or a straight out laugh from the comments when they realized what they asked. But apparently you'll never know this pleasure.

For those of you who can actually take the joke or are starting to have HYS withdraws, have no fear, I'll have your fix within the next few days when the next batch is done.

GMC

11-21-2004, 02:06 AM

HELL
FUCKIN
YEAH
Indy!
I think he's gone tho, thankfully.

CMDad

11-21-2004, 03:23 AM

Just found this place, and as my username implies, I am the father of a WDW CM (and one former CM). While most people wouldn't believe half of the horror stories I have heard from both of them, this group will have no problem. This place is great as a place to ridicule those stupid questions without doing so to the guests face. :lol:

These particular incidents, I have encountered, as I am sure most of you have at one time or another.

Guest (at DAK, The Studios or Epcot): When we leave here we are going to Disney World (meaning MK)

At WDW HM - in the stretch room (My son, an HM CM, told me to listen for this, and sure enough I started hearing this many times)
Guest 1: Close your eyes and you will feel it ... this is actually an elevator going downstairs.
Guest 2: (Eyes closed) Yes, you're right, I can feel it!
(Note: In WDW, the room goes nowhere - the walls stretch and the ceiling rises.)

IndyandMarion

11-21-2004, 04:45 AM

p.s. in your spare time... someone please someone find a way to get rid of eisner and his cronies... thanks
Don't think we haven't tried. But mark my words when the end of the world is here, Eisner, Kieth Richards and five cockroaches will be standing side by side laughing. Why, because they are not of this galaxy. (Robin Williams fans might know about the Richards and roaches thing)

Stduck

11-21-2004, 07:34 AM

Ah Indy good to see you back posting! I had a bit of a here's your sign once that I vaguely remembered...

On the Parade route near the hub (note this is DL)
How do we get to the matterhorn?
-Pointing to the matterhorn- The Matterhorn is right there.
-rudely- Yes but how do we get to it?!
-Me standing there wanting to scream- You walk towards it....

Yes I actually said that no I wasn't joking...ah yes guests are fun...

IndyandMarion

11-21-2004, 07:41 AM

Yeah well. When you have union supporters bugging you every day about the votes, and you don't give a damn about the union because your working at the mouse house for the families that come to the parks....you tend to go into hiding for a bit until they either leave, or die.

Don't worry though, working on the list right now.

Main Streeter

11-22-2004, 06:11 AM

Haaaa Indy, you are a bell to deaf EARS :wink: A warm breeze in cold winter. A spark of MAGIC to this site. Glad to see you quietly return :wink: KEEP IT UP!!

IndyandMarion

11-22-2004, 06:28 AM

We're workin our way through. Now before I get started, as a reminder before hell breaks out (But its Monday so it will anyways), these are all things that I've said as a joke and then gave them the correct answer

I was at the West Side one night when I called AAA because I had magically locked my keys in my car )Thank you car God( when the guy arrived I had a hanger in my window that a friend had with him and the guy asked "Your the one that locked your keys in the car?"
"Nope, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry.

I was back in Backlot area lookin at the Auto show in costume (Like three people from the coaster crew was over there printing up FP for Super Soaps) when I had this person come up to me and ask "Is this the new auto show?" (For those of you that don't know, the show's Marque in GIANT letters said LIGHTS, MOTORS, ACTION! Extreme Motor Stunt Show)
-Nope. This is the new stage for a combination of Fantasmic, Beauty and the Beast and the return of the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

-Super Soaps (Hell on earth for anyone who doesn't watch them Day) weekends: I had a guest ask me who was in a limo we sent around empty (aside from the actor). Im not one who watches soaps so I hadn't a clue. Anyways I told them that I didn't know other than it was some soap actor. "Really?"
Nope. It was the George Bush

I'm out. I have nothing left right now. I haven't been to work in three days (Two RDO and a personal call) so it's hard to really get anything, these just came from Friday.

Peace out HYS junkies.

IndyandMarion

11-25-2004, 07:25 PM

With great holiday seasons, it also brings a great amount of idiots.

Why is the wait 70 minutes?
Me: Because it is a busy day here at the Studios.
Why is it busy?
Me: Because it's Thanksgiving week and this is the beginning of the holiday season for us.
Is it really 70 minutes?
Me: Nope, it's really only 25, we're just testing you.
Why is there a lot of people in line?
Me: Because it's a busy day....(In my head)there wouldn't be a lot of people, but we heard you were coming and grabbed hundreds of people and put them in line before you got here.
NOTE: EVERY ONE OF THE QUESTIONS...CAME FROM THE SAME PERSON!

Is it really a (Enter wait time) wait?
Me: Nope, it's really about 5 hours longer.

Why aren't there any fastpasses?
Me: Because we have given the amount we distribute every day out.
Will there be any more today?
Me: No. We have given them all out for the Coaster.
So there won't be any for the other attractions?
Me: Let me consult my magic 8 ball....for you, all signs point to no. (Actual answer: Can't say for sure)

Are the machines down (About fastpass, a sign saying the reason why we dont have any more, all of them have been given out for the day)?
Me: Nope, we're just done for the day.
So they'll be up later today?
Me: Nope, we're getting ready to tear them down right now.

Fastpass return?
Me: No, it's over there (This was at Stand by)
But the sign says this is return
Me: (To myself, in my head)Go back to school and learn how to read you idiot. (Actual answer, no sir, it's over there where it states Fastpass Return)

Father: (Second part of child swap, fastpass was a little backed up) How long is the wait for Fastpass
Me: About ten minutes, eh, fifteen tops.
Wife: No it's not, I just waited in line for 40 mins.
Me: (In my head, again) Hey, blondie! Notice you waited in stand by! He isn't. You want to judge wait times, get a job here.

And that will do it for this edition, not the best but hey, we're still workin our way through.

Coldfire, ready for saturday? 44,000 in park, phase 1 closing possible.....

coldfire409

11-26-2004, 05:39 PM

I'm in bandit so I'll be fine. Good luck at coaster indy, you're going to need it. All I have to say is thank god that this is my last holiday season if my plans go accordingly.

IndyandMarion

11-26-2004, 07:33 PM

I don't think it needs to be locked down. It's just a little heated argument from someone who didn't understand or appreciate the purpose of the thread. Of course, I'm new here... so we'll see what really happens.

...as for getting 'back on topic'...
I was walking from Take 5 cafe' back to the B&B greenroom when I overheard a guest asking a security guard, "where do we go to ride E.T.?"
The guest had a park map spread out in front of them and to my surprise the guard started looking over the woman's shoulder to see if he could locate it on the map for her. I had to intervene, and stepped up to let them know that's at Universal Studios -not at Disney/MGM. The security guard simply said, "Oh,...thats' why we can't find it. Well there ya go."
I walked away feeling very Secure. :roll: Oh boy.
What? You think I use the words Rent a Cops for no reason? Thats about the extent of their usefulness (Its past 10:30, any words go). Only reason why they are here, is to make guests feel safe... but after the incident I had to deal with at coaster, I thank the Coaster Gods that OPD will be getting a sub station at the Studios soon. *Youll have to wait for my next topic to find out, too damn late at night for me after a "wonderful day at work" for me to start it now*

GMC

11-27-2004, 12:07 AM

they're less useful than rent-a-cops, a rent a cop has full police powers on the property he's paid to patrol, Disney Security, can do about as much as we can.

Disneyaddicted

11-27-2004, 03:51 AM

:rolleyes: I just wanted to say how much i enjoyed reading some of the threads here. I may not be a CM but i have worked in retail before and deal with customers and general public on a daily basis. (i own a carpentry/painting company) anyways... I just returned from WDW 3 days ago and I wanted to tell you how much i enjoyed my 1st visit. If it werent for the great jobs the CM's did/do i am sure it wouldnt be as enjoyeable. maybe you could have a side post for "guests who have to deal with other stupid quests" the best one that we (wife and i) witnessed would have to be: after a CM went to great length to explain this to some brainless individual about why there were no straws in animal kingdom, he turned to another Cm and asked" where are the straws?" i couldnt help but jump in with " they arent allowed here because the monkeys like to have spitball fights" ... he looked at me and said" wow really? when is the show?" okok i am babbling. i wanted to say to all the CM's thanks for putting up with the stupid guests and making our stay fantastic. You have to put up with alot of people day in and day out and still put on a happy face and play the cheerful person so vent away all you want! THANK YOU!

ThenIDrifted

11-29-2004, 10:16 AM

OMG: You are not kidding about Super Soap being hell if you don't watch them. What's as hellish as having to work them? How about having to put up with relatives wanting to watch every stinking motorcade and you have to drag your kid all over to meet them and mess up half your day?

I'm not bitter...no...just that we wasted half our trip running around so that they could see the top of Susan Lucci's head...but no, I'm not bitter *grumble, (!(*^~(&*%!, grumble*...

I personally can't figure out how the wait time thing works though. Several times they gave us tags and asked us to give them to the CM at the front and said they had to do with recording wait times. But each time the wait time was wrong and after we left I checked and it wasn't updated! I think they all quit caring LOL.

Worst wait time story of our trip: I finally decide to venture a little while without my wheelchair (I use a crutch, I have MS) and husband heads me into a 30 minute stand-by line for Jungle Cruise.

30 minutes my foot! We barely moved for 30 minutes, and I finally had to fight my way out of the queue to get to a seat (felt lightheaded)

Soon as I had sat down to wait for my family, the wait time went up to 45 minutes. A moment later, it jumped to 60.

Total time they waited in line? About 70 minutes and then the time for the ride. Needless to say I don't care if we go back to Jungle Cruise again in the near future LOL.

TID

lady ulrike

11-30-2004, 07:20 AM

I believe that what those cards are for is to see how long the wait is for research purposes, not necesarilly to change it, although I did hear that it changed it. If you watch, right before they hand it to you, they run it in front of a little box, then when you give it to the person at load they run it down the side of the console or in front of a similar little box. The computer records the time the little card was scanned for research purposes, i.e. how crowded is the park on any given day, is the wait always long a certain time of year, if so can anything be done about it, etc But I had heard that when they scanned it, it was supposed to automatically change the wait time too, I dunno maybe I heard wrong.

We do the same thing in Disneyland, but we have to right what time we give it to them, blah, blah, blah, I hope we get the electronic monitoring soon.

And just to let you know, we do try to keep the wait times accurate, maybe 5-10 min higher to give room for something changing drastically and quickly, but we sometimes don't have a spare CM to go change the time and/or lots of people could get in line suddenly and/or something could go wrong that doesn't make us down but does make the wait longer, they should spiel if that happens though.

BRWombat

11-30-2004, 09:08 AM

I believe that what those cards are for is to see how long the wait is for research purposes, not necesarilly to change it, although I did hear that it changed it. If you watch, right before they hand it to you, they run it in front of a little box, then when you give it to the person at load they run it down the side of the console or in front of a similar little box. The computer records the time the little card was scanned for research purposes, i.e. how crowded is the park on any given day, is the wait always long a certain time of year, if so can anything be done about it, etc But I had heard that when they scanned it, it was supposed to automatically change the wait time too, I dunno maybe I heard wrong.
Interesting. I would think there would be more accurate ways of setting the wait time. True, the card would give a precise reading of the wait time, but it would be the wait time for when that person got in line. The time could have drastically changed while the person was waiting.

For instance, say the person gets on queue and spends 20 minutes in line. If, during those 20 minutes, a bunch of people follow him in and double the line length, the wait would then be 40 minutes for a new person joining the line, but his card would show twenty. Conversely, if no one else got on line after him, his card would still show 20 minutes, but the actual wait time would be zero by the time he reached the head of the line.

You know, I may just have too much time on my hands.

abc

11-30-2004, 09:34 AM

A ton of the reason I have noticed some attractions can't keep the wait time completely accurate is the computer to change the sign is in the fastpass computer, and if a cm is alone at greeter its a bit hard to get there without someone jumping on your back about it, and they can probably only change it when they have an extra or the lead comes by or during a rotation.

The most accurate way to monitor wait times down to the minute would be an "electric" turnstyle at the entrance to the queue, and another right before boarding (a bit of modifications for fastpass). To get the wait time, since you know how many people are between the two turnstyles (basically the difference between the counts) and how many are passing through the 2nd electric turnstyle (the capacity), divide the number of people inbetween the turnstyles by the number of people getting through the 2nd turnstyle each hour, then multiply it by 60 to get the wait time in minutes. A system like this would give a great estimate, and be up to the minute, including factoring in reduced capacity. For example if they drop a station on BTMRR, the # of peeps going through turnstyle 2 would be less, meaning a higher wait. I don't think it'd be too expensive to implement either. They already have the electric turnstyles in all of DCA and at Indy and pooh. Just get another set at the entrance and have software engineers come up with a program, and viola.

GMC

11-30-2004, 01:35 PM

the cards are actually a study of how fast the line moves vs attraction staffing, we're supposed to give one or two out every 15 minutes (when thier conduction the study) and it basically tells whoever it is that takes the study what kind of staffing will be needed at that location at that time the next year. if their the cards that i'm thinking of that is.

thundercatjamie

11-30-2004, 03:04 PM

Ah yes the lovely FLIK card program. Actually it does a little of both. Our coordinators use it to update the wait time. Unfortunately, as you see, it is a flawed program. Due to the fact that it measures how long that one person waited in line even if the coordinator changes it the very second the card gets swiped the second time it still is only telling you that the person getting on the ride right then waited that many minutes not how many minutes you are going to wait. As mentioned if someone is not even paying attention to it and doesn't update it it will not change. If it was started as a research tool, they should have left it as a research tool and just figure out the waits the old fashioned way, if its at a certain point it is this long, but no they have to lean on technology even if it is stupid.

IndyandMarion

12-03-2004, 07:24 PM

Coming to a forum near you...

Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga Episode IV: A New Dope

Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga Episode V: The Idiots Strike Back

Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga Episode VI: Return of the Sign

Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga Episode I: The Stupid Menace

Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga Episode II: Attack of the Cloned Questions

Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga Episode III: Revenge of Those Who Recieved the Stupid Answers

I actually recieved this from a friend who has a little too much time on his hands...But what's great is that a lot of the HYSs I've gotten lately fall into those categories so I might actually do something with those...

IndyandMarion

12-07-2004, 12:27 PM

Before I get started I want to give a shout out to the couple who visited G-Force Records today.

Guest: Is Steven Tyler here today?
Me: Unfortunately not. (Yeah, he has so much time on his hands he decided to come here by himself and record a song or two)

That's all I can remember right now (Went 101 today so my mind is a bit shot from that whole fiasco)

hulkcoaster

12-07-2004, 05:00 PM

^You're supposed to say that he and the rest of Arrowsmith are in the studio that the guy is about to visit. :rolleyes:

IndyandMarion

12-07-2004, 05:28 PM

Aerosmith actually...

Already used that line before and I try to stay away from using the same ones again. If she had asked if the whole band was here I might have, but since she was only asking about Steven...

Oh well.

lady ulrike

12-07-2004, 09:56 PM

Hey, speaking of Steven Tyler. My boyfriend was working Space when he came on the ride. My boyfriend is a huge fan and for the first time in his over 3 years working there he had to get someone else to group him because he wasn't sure if he could control himself.

IndyandMarion

12-09-2004, 08:05 PM

Well, every thing has them. Now, the Disney Saga as the All Star list.

Convention night again, and wow, IQ level, couldn't be lower.

Is this the tower of terror (At Rock n Roller Coaster...standing at Studio C)?
-Nope, this is actually the muppets 3-D

Is the the exit for the roller coaster? (Standing at the ENTRACE OF COASTER)
-Nope, this is actually the exit for Tower of Terror

-(After the speil says "Sharp drops, sudden drops and upside down manuevers) Does this go upside down?
-Nope, its all just one straight peice of track.

They might not seem like the best, but when your standing there looking at them...and around their neck is a giant card with a map...with bold print what each attractions is....you can't help but ask for a loaded gun...

Speaking of which, Im glad I taught that Marine Corps JROTC program with my grandfather because I still have access to the armory...with M-16s sitting inside..fifty of them..all operational...and we have ammo....and we have the pop warner convention tomorrow night (23,000 13-16 year olds running around the park)....and they wonder why I constantly ask if I can bring just one M16 in (Why? SO THEY'LL STAY IN LINE AND NOT SCREW ANYTHING UP!)

Oh yes folks, I do think evil sometimes :twisted:

coldfire409

12-13-2004, 06:54 PM

you can't help but ask for a loaded gun...
Just come to me, I have a loaded pistol on me, and I don't even have to sneek it into the park. Although just because I have a loaded gun on me doesn't mean that the people listen.

IndyandMarion

12-14-2004, 02:35 PM

I would. But Im too lazy to walk that small distance from the break room to GMR.

Had a good one today (Bring out the Dogs good).

Guy ended up backstage somehow, not going to ask how he managed it but knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was not a CM.

Saw me and with the confused look on his face asked me if the parking lot he was standing in was Sunset.
Nope, this is actually the studios parking lot. (Then turned him around and booted him over the wall into the guest area.

On a side note had some guy breathing down my neck almost at Studio B today saying "Make eye contact with each guest"

Needless to say I was about to deck him with my elbow (He was in range). One for doing that, two for screwing me up during a speil.

Dunno if he was a newly brainwashed CP or some manager but it pissed me off when Im trying to do three things at once (That being keep track of how much time I have left, load the remaing people into the show and do the speil) and he decides to pull a stunt like that.

More HYSs to come this week as the slow week continues...and with a slow time, comes the slowest people of them all.

lady ulrike

12-15-2004, 10:51 AM

Hey, maybe I ran across you yesterday, I was there and on the coaster, but you probably aren't the smart aleck I encountered, since that was about the time you posted the above message. I asked where the parade started, i.e. which end of the parade route cause at Disneyland, at least it can vary. He started pointing out all these things, like it starts here, and follows this route, and you're here, etc. I just wanted to know if it started at the front of the park or the back so I knew if I could avoid it or not, after I was done at the coaster. Anyway, I gotta give him some sympathy cause I know he deals with idiots all day.

IndyandMarion

12-16-2004, 09:18 AM

Yeah. I've got the extra magic hour that I work on tuesdays (Basically the morning shift). So I'm outta there at like 1-2.

A smart aleck eh? Plenty of those around the Coaster. Remember his name per chance?

GMC

12-18-2004, 10:22 PM

No i can't recall...oh wait, i wasn... wow, the stupidity is rubbing off on me. Thunder CM's are little brats too, to the guests, that is, i want to learn thunder, the new kids at indy are too slow, and make me bored, and frustrated.

lady ulrike

12-20-2004, 08:43 PM

No, there were a few of them around and I don't remember any of their names. Since it was really, really slow there were like 4 or 5 CMs outside the entrance and we all started chatting. Compared IDs and everything. Ask about it, maybe one of 'em will remember.

IndyandMarion

12-21-2004, 03:41 AM

Ah, the typical no point in being at your position when there's no line routine.

Nah. Its ok, considering that most of the people who group together are those I dont talk to unless nessesary, it not a big deal. Not to say that I dont do the same but at least I break away every five minutes to actually do some work or help with a guest.

Oh well. Off to the sweatshop....I mean, work. Big numbers this week apparently, so naturally big numbers means managers running most of the CMs out of their mind for the hourly numbers.

IndyandMarion

01-19-2005, 07:49 AM

A few quick ones since Im on my way to the sweat shop, er, Disney world.

Guest: Is this the entrance to that (Pointing at Tower, while in the Coaster courtyard).
Me: Nope. This is the entrance to the parking lot.

MANAGER: You forgot your gloves? (Note: While it was in the 50s in the morning, the wind was blowing so it felt like the 40s)
Me: Nope. They got so cold themselves they jumped off my hands to locate the sheep from which they came from.

GMC

01-20-2005, 12:28 AM

poor thing at least it wasn't ACTUALLY 40, or my favorite was comming home at 9:00 (2100) and it was 33

Euterpe

01-23-2005, 11:49 PM

A twist on the classic three o'clock parade bit:

I work at the Food Court at Port Orleans Resort, which has four different shops. I was on cash when a woman came up to me and asked where she could get pizza. I pointed to the Acadian Pizza 'N' Pasta shop which clearly says Pizza in at least three locations and said "Over there in the pizza shop."

She laughed and said "Oh. I guess that was a pretty dumb question. It's pretty obvious."

I laughed and said "Yeah, and I can tell you when the three o'clock parade is."

She said, "Oh? When?"

I stopped laughing and meekly answered "Three o'clock." The joke was lost.

As far as security goes... My friend worked at the front desk during Pop Warner week, which is at least as much Hell as you guys must have during Super Soap Weekend. He said that front desk got a call from security asking *them* to deal with some streakers by the pool. Apparently, middle schoolers running naked around our resort is not a security issue. Good. :rolleyes:

elle

GeorgieL.

02-12-2005, 01:39 PM

IndyandMarion

02-12-2005, 05:01 PM

In which case, one should not pass judgement until one has walked a mile in those lovely black moccasins that CM's are required to wear.

Im the exception to that (Being the rouge that I am), be more like lovely black boots (Gets the point across better when you kick those idiots in the shin... :twisted: )

hhsrat

03-15-2005, 06:23 PM

IndyandMarion

03-15-2005, 06:30 PM

Disney's Animal Kingdom. It's many things, but there's one thing it's not, NATAZU

Oh shut up. AK is a freakin zoo, just an over extravigant, Disney Magic enhanced park to make it look like it's not a zoo.

-A quote from a friend at RRC.

hhsrat

03-16-2005, 06:13 AM

Oh shut up. AK is a freakin zoo, just an over extravigant, Disney Magic enhanced park to make it look like it's not a zoo.

Yeah, yeah, the CMs know it's a zoo, some of the guests know it's a zoo, and until there's some more attractions (everest is a good start), it's still going to be a zoo. Doesn't matter, I like working there, even if we are the "baby brother" of the parks.

Stduck

03-23-2005, 09:07 AM

Back to the HYS.

I was groundskeeper at Disneyland's Mansion (or maybe I was Foyer its not important I was outside). These kids are walking up the front. They have walked past the gates and are headed to the Mansion almost to the front steps. They ask me. "Is this the Haunted Mansion"

I blinked a few times double checked that I was in the right costume. Looked behind me was reassured that the Mansion stood behind me. Then replyed "No This is Pirates of the Carribean"

The kids just looked dumbfounded. So I smiled and said "No I'm joking this is the Haunted Mansion"

But still....Here's Your Sign.

DPRSSDNKY

03-23-2005, 02:56 PM

In which case, one should not pass judgement until one has walked a mile in those lovely black moccasins that CM's are required to wear.

Especially when you have to walk to the CC breakroom in pouring down raining through the giant river that the road has turned into...

perfectlyperfect

04-02-2005, 12:31 AM

Well hi everyone I just have to say I'm new here and to WDW. I haven't even gone through my training yet and am a new hire.
Having said that I will say that I have worked with the public for years in the restaurant and catering business and also worked briefly for another themepark and to Disneylover I will say this.

99% of the public are STUPID

I wanted to work at Disney because I love Disney and I think I know what to expect because I have done similar things before but honestly unless you have worked in a situation where you deal with great amounts of people on a daily bases you have no right to talk "Disneylover" (I bet I love Disney more than you)

One restaurant I worked for was Applebees and our District Manager's motto was "We love our guests but our guests frankly are stupid" it's true anyone who does that sort of work knows it.

"Disneylover" has obviously never worked with people and if "Disneylover" had to work with people for one day I'm sure you could not handle it from your comments!

I say bravo Indy I have enjoyed your comments and everyone elses and although I have not worked for Disney yet I have had similar experiences for example.

Scene: While serving one night in a popular restaurant in Kentucky. A couple is seated at my table.

Me: "Hi how are you folks tonight may I start you off with something to drink?"
Guest: "yeah I'll have 2 long island iced teas and 2 bud drafts"
me: "Oh I'm sorry sir, but according to Kentucky state law we are only allowed to serve one drink per person per table at a time." (True tis the law in Kentucky or else the restaurant can be held liable for accidents etc...)
Guest: "Bring me 2 beers and 2 long island iced teas!" (louder and angry)
Me: "i'm sorry sir..." (I repeat myself again and add) "I can bring you each a drink and when you are finished I can bring you another I just can only have one drink per person on the table at a time"
Guest: "What the hell for?"
Me: "I don't know write your congressman" (At which point I walked away I was moving back to Florida anyway so I didn't care lol)

Another short example similar to things I've read on these boards:

Scene: I'm hostessing at a buffet style restaurant that also has full service

Me: "Hello there how many in your party?"
Guest:(There is a long buffet bar behind me in plain view with steaming mounds of food and buffet runners going back and forth the the kitchen refilling) "Uh so how does this work ya'll got food here or what?"

Classic HYS!!!!

I suggest Disneylover wake up and join the real world! People have to have a place to vent!

As a over 300 time visitor of the WDW resorts I once overheard a conversation while riding on the monorail from the Polynesian to the magic kingdom. Couldn't believe it. I'm sure you all can though.

Mother to five year old child: "ohhhhh honey are you excited you're going to see bugs bunny!"

I wish I was kidding I just started laughing as did the rest of my party.

HYS

Look forward to maybe seeing some of you around someday at WDW!
Sorry for the long post for my first time! Just had to interject! :D:

MEng85

04-02-2005, 12:43 AM

hey welcome to the forums there are a great bunch of people here. youll love this place, i know i sure do :D: hey congrats on ur new job, i was recently hired for the summer at DL so were in the same boat cuz i havent gone through traditions either :) but i have to dissagree with the 99% of guests being stupid...its more like 99.99998%

lady ulrike

04-02-2005, 08:42 AM

What departments did you guys hire into?

MEng85

04-02-2005, 11:27 AM

hey lady ulrike

i hired into adventureland attractions :D:

lady ulrike

04-02-2005, 12:34 PM

Good, you should get lots of hours cause last I heard they're desperate for people. Maybe some Adv. people can correct me if that's changed. That also means, I won't be running across you, though, I'm in Fantasyland and don't have to shuttle from K lot. :)

Main Streeter

04-04-2005, 04:49 AM

hey lady ulrike

i hired into adventureland attractions :D:
CONGRATULATIONS MEing!!!! We're all glad to convert a NORCALer :cool: Bout time you got off that cold rock.:bouncemic You'll love our code 90 days :D:
Code 90s & "our" water will be a shock to your system. ;)
You'll be a welcomed new CM. At last HR hired someone with a valid background! Hope you get the attraction you want. :locomotiv

MagliteL13

04-04-2005, 10:50 PM

Hey all,

Haven't posted here much, but done a lot of lurking. Anyways, I used to work at Pecos & El Pirata (MK, WDW) I think my favorite questions received have been:

Guest:(after watching the glow carts before spectro) Was that the parade?
Me: Yup, it's all over and Wishes starts in about 30 min.

Guest: How can I get to the Indiana Jones ride?
Me: Do ya have a plane ticket?

(overheard while exiting Animal Kingdom as a guest) Guest: Man, I wish they would turn the air conditioning on in here.

Guest: Do you have any dirty bathrooms?
Me: Of course not.
Guest: I've been looking all day, but haven't found any.
Me: Why would you want to do that?
Guest: I wanted to see if what they said about the bathrooms being clean was true.

(at Carribean Plaza)
Guest: Where's the bathroom?
Me: [crisscrosses arms and points one over by the Pan/Hook greeting area and the other into one of the El Pirata dining rooms--there are bathrooms in both areas for those who don't know]
Guest: You mean that there are more than one bathrooms in this place?

--Squeaks

BRWombat

04-05-2005, 02:28 PM

monorailbigfoot

04-07-2005, 03:14 PM

Hello!!!!
I'm new here and I just had to join to share this with the rest of you. I am a monorail pilot at WDW and was driving the Epcot monorail this morning when a guest asked me the stupidest question I have ever heard since working there. On the way to Epcot there is a patch of trees that off to the right hand side are down and all over the place due to the three hurricanes that passed through. The guest looked over and saw all the damage and asked:
"Was all this damage from the Tsunami?"

I must say it took me a second to realize what she had just asked and so I became completely speechless and dumbfounded. Needless to say I'm now so thankful that my life wasn't endangered by the Bay Lake Tsunami. HA!
Stupid guests... see ya real soon!

IndyandMarion

04-08-2005, 01:52 PM

PirateJohn

04-16-2005, 01:01 PM

If this board is supposed to be for cast members only, then you should make it a private board.We already have private boards for CMs only on a different website.

On this particular one, we allow people who are not CMs to see some of the "backstage" stuff that they don't normally see. Many non-CMs actually like seeing that sort of stuff, realizing full well that this is a board designed FOR THE SPECIFIC PURPOSE of allowing CMs to share stories that they wouldn't share onstage.

If the very name of this web site isn't a dead giveaway to that fact, then, well...

HERE'S YOUR SIGN!

PirateJohn

04-16-2005, 01:04 PM

Its not a HYS but its just a joking replay I make...

-Can I ask you a question/Can I look at your pins?
I don't know, can you?

-How do I get to (Enter attraction name)
By walking or having someone carry you there.Some of my favorites that I use:

Guest entering ride: Do you get wet?
Me: Nope, I stay perfectly dry.

Guest: Can you go on this ride if you're pregnant?
Me: If I'M pregnant?!?! I think I'd be too busy doing the morning talk show circuit!

Guest: How tall do you have to be to go on this ride?
Me: (deadpan) You have to be at least three inches tall.

Guest: How old do you have to be to go on this ride?
Me: Less than two hundred years old.

IndyandMarion

04-16-2005, 01:49 PM

Some of my favorites that I use:
Guest: Can you go on this ride if you're pregnant?
Me: If I'M pregnant?!?! I think I'd be too busy doing the morning talk show circuit!
I think my answer would be along the lines of "Listen. If I was pregnant, going on the ride would be the LEAST of my worries" (Being that I am a male...)

leftcoaster

04-18-2005, 06:41 AM

Some of my favorites that I use:

Guest entering ride: Do you get wet?
Me: Nope, I stay perfectly dry.

Guest: Can you go on this ride if you're pregnant?
Me: If I'M pregnant?!?! I think I'd be too busy doing the morning talk show circuit!

Guest: How tall do you have to be to go on this ride?
Me: (deadpan) You have to be at least three inches tall.

Guest: How old do you have to be to go on this ride?
Me: Less than two hundred years old.

ROFLMAOPMP!

Obviously you know what they meant, but I'm sure that after a long day, sometimes those responses just slip out.

And of course, you get the "You know what I mean!" answer.

God love you CMs. I don't know if I could last 20 minutes on stage. That's why I would want a back stage job.

IndyandMarion

04-18-2005, 07:21 AM

God love you CMs. I don't know if I could last 20 minutes on stage. That's why I would want a back stage job.
Listen. There is only one place that is safe enough in the world, in the world! That you could work at and not worry about running into someone as stupid as these people are sometimes. And listen to me when I say that I've done the research myself in my own labs! That place is your bathroom in your own God damn house!

Backstage? SCREW YOU! OK!? Backstage is the worst place EVER to want to work. Why? Because when you deal with these gerbils onstage, that is carried with you backstage. During that time, your brain deterioriates and when you get around others backstage, YOU'RE SOUNDING AS IDIOTIC AS THOSE SCREWJOBS BACK ONSTAGE!

Case in point, even though I'm on vacation, I still get calls from friends at work (Because if they don't talk to someone on the outside world, they'll going f'n nuts!). I got a call the other day and said one of them said they overheard someone saying the line "If it weren't for my Parrot, I wouldn't have spent that year in college"

Listen to me when I say this, do not, DO NOT think about that for more than three seconds. Because if you do, they'll find you tomorrow dead in your bathroom from thinking too hard on the comment.

I'm almost to the point to where I believe that there is a group somewhere that trains people to act this stupid. We have homeland security (Which is the best f'n idea in the world), we have plenty of money (Despite our Country's big f'n cash deficient), we need to go after this group and just kick some ass. It might sound like a stupid idea, but we're talking about our government here. This is the same government that a few years back, gave the State of Georgia a $5 MILLION dollar check (For lack of better terms, because I don't have any more energy to think of stuff) to do whatever they want with. As we all know, EVERY SCHOOL AND ROAD IN THAT STATE OR ANY STATE is in perfect condition. So they use 3 million of it to fund a study to see why PEOPLE WANT TO BREAK OUT OF JAIL (Listen, I couldn't make this up!). If the government is willing to do that, then they should have enough money to fund my project!!

You see why I say your bathroom is the safest place to work now?! Ok, I think Im done.

Main_Street_Merch

04-27-2005, 12:22 AM

Oh no... they pulled the "Im a shareholder" card.

Hows Oneshare.com treating you Disney lover?

The "I'm a shareholder" comment is my second favorite to "I spent 5000 dollars today and..." Every time I hear that I have the urge to say: "Sir/Ma'am, look at the other 30,000 people mingling in the park around you. Each of them has probably spent $5000 as well. Do you really think your $5000 means anything to us? No. Thankyou and have a Magical day."

Anna

04-27-2005, 09:40 AM

well, this didnt take place at the disney parks, but at universal, at the great revenge of the mummy. while im standing at greeter, i have a woman come over to me and start yelling about how she never saw any signs saying that the ride was a high speed rollercoaster. funny part, she was standing right in front of the sign when she told me this. :D:

MEng85

04-27-2005, 10:05 AM

BRWombat

04-27-2005, 11:30 AM

Hows Oneshare.com treating you Disney lover?

The "I'm a shareholder" comment is my second favorite to "I spent 5000 dollars today and..." Every time I hear that I have the urge to say: "Sir/Ma'am, look at the other 30,000 people mingling in the park around you. Each of them has probably spent $5000 as well. Do you really think your $5000 means anything to us? No. Thankyou and have a Magical day."

I work for a city government -- we have the same reaction when someone tells us, "I'm a taxpayer, you know!" Yeah, buddy, join the club.

MEng85

04-27-2005, 12:35 PM

I work for a city government -- we have the same reaction when someone tells us, "I'm a taxpayer, you know!" Yeah, buddy, join the club.

thats like tellin a cop i pay your salary, ur not gonna be on the best of terms with him/her :)

BRWombat

04-27-2005, 01:34 PM

thats like tellin a cop i pay your salary, ur not gonna be on the best of terms with him/her :)
Right. They love that. :banghead:

There's a great .mp3 file floating around of a police department's dream voice mail. My favorite parts:

"To whine about us not solving a problem that you created, press 1. ...
If you'd like us to raise your children, press 4. ...
If you'd like us to instantly restore order to a situation that took years to deteriorate, press 6. ...
To sue us or tell us you pay our salary and you'll have our badge, or to proclaim our career is over, press 8. "

and finally...

"Remember, we're here to save your butts, not kiss them!" :)

StupidGuestQuest

04-28-2005, 12:15 PM

MEng85

04-28-2005, 12:19 PM

BRWombat

04-28-2005, 01:31 PM

Miee

04-28-2005, 02:01 PM

I'm not exactly sure who gets the sign in this story, us or the cast member. I wonder if the poor guy just was at a loss.

Several years ago, my now-ex and I were at The Living Seas over in EPCOT and we were marveling at the shark. Somehow though, we couldn't find the sign that stated what species of shark it was. He proclaimed with full certainity that it was Great White. I told him it was far too small and would require far too much feeding in order to keep from eating everything else. I stated it looked like a nurse shark to me. We argued about this for a few minutes before deciding, "Fine! We'll just ask."

We corralled the nearest CM and I asked, "We're having a disagreement, is the shark here a Great White or a nurse shark."

"...It's a great white nurse shark."

I blinked, thanked him, and walked away.

We found the sign about two minutes later that stated very clearly that it was a brown shark.

I do have to complain about this thread.

It's six months old and only 13 pages! You should have something that rivals Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix!!! Yeesh! How are us former CS workers supposed to live vicariously through your responses?

PirateJohn

04-28-2005, 02:37 PM

thats like tellin a cop i pay your salary, ur not gonna be on the best of terms with him/her :)To which the cop replies, "and you also pay for the city jail. Let's go see."

MEng85

04-28-2005, 03:48 PM

To which the cop replies, "and you also pay for the city jail. Let's go see."

LMAO....hmmmm.....i guess i shouldve thought of that one..... :D:

Stduck

04-29-2005, 10:00 AM

Disneyregular1031

04-29-2005, 01:02 PM

I found this site yesterday and started reading this thread and have done nothing but laugh. It did tick me off when Disneylover got a nasty, but as everyone else said, it is a place for CM's to vent.

I can relate to the "Here's Your Sign".

Just wanted to say thanks for the laugh and keep up the good work. I know you all have a difficult time sometimes and idiots just make it that much more difficult.

I have been going to WDW regularly since 95 and was a regular at DL until we moved to FL.

My hat is off to all CM's and their ability to keep it in control. :D:

Main Streeter

04-29-2005, 01:20 PM

I am just a guest. And now I'm on a quest. I have two trips planned this year - one to DL and one to WDW. I'm going to see if I can get myself posted on this board and earn myself a sign.

This should be fun!!! :D:
You are off to a great start! Oh plz visit DLR on my day off. Here we go CMs.....our official 50th Birthday Stupid Guest :( You've earned your sign.

StupidGuestQuest

05-11-2005, 07:16 AM

You are off to a great start! Oh plz visit DLR on my day off. Here we go CMs... our official 50th Birthday Stupid Guest :( You've earned your sign.Wow!!! That took a lot less effort that I thought it would.

IndyandMarion

05-11-2005, 07:53 AM

I am just a guest. And now I'm on a quest. I have two trips planned this year - one to DL and one to WDW. I'm going to see if I can get myself posted on this board and earn myself a sign.

This should be fun!!! :D:
Go ahead sparky, come down Sunset and come to Coaster and find me, you'll end up in the hall of fame man.

Im serious, come find me, Im at coaster more than I am at home (Then again, I believe home is the coaster, they just haven't told me yet)

Also, to Miee, you two are safe, it was the CM who doesn't even get a sign, but a backhand to the face. Great White Nurse Shark? WTH is Disney working on...

mamapajama

05-19-2005, 01:09 PM

Im the exception to that (Being the rouge that I am), be more like lovely black boots (Gets the point across better when you kick those idiots in the shin... :twisted: )

I'm sorry about this but are you a "rouge" (which is woman's blush-type make-up) or a "rogue"? So sorry, I couldn't resist :)

IndyandMarion

05-19-2005, 07:34 PM

This being the start of Star Wars Weekends...do you want me to go sith lord on you?

Yeah. I said it.

Ok, so I didn't type right. But yeah, rogue.

Ah, Star Wars Weekends. Begun the weeks of ultimate guest stupidity has...

lady ulrike

05-20-2005, 10:14 AM

I feel even more sorry for you than usual. I mean the last movie just came out so they're probably going to be 10 times worse as a result.

Notatourist

05-20-2005, 12:47 PM

I am just a guest. And now I'm on a quest. I have two trips planned this year - one to DL and one to WDW. I'm going to see if I can get myself posted on this board and earn myself a sign.

This should be fun!!! :D:This quest would not be best at the land that Rhymes were made of. Suess Landing I guess, is not part of your quest and for that my fellow friends are glad of.

And dear, sweet, Indy and Marion, when the day comes, can I beat him up with you?

CBeilby

05-21-2005, 12:18 AM

This quest would not be best at the land that Rhymes were made of. Suess Landing I guess, is not part of your quest and for that my fellow friends are glad of.

And dear, sweet, Indy and Marion, when the day comes, can I beat him up with you?

I'm already saving a permanant spot for him in Farquad's torture chamber, left coast edition...

JordansDad

05-30-2005, 08:07 PM

PirateJohn

05-30-2005, 08:57 PM

I guess I got my Mark Twain initiation last week when I had a kid ask me if he could pee into the river. "But I gotta go." Uh, no, you're going to wait. It's not like we don't announce very clearly before the trip that we don't have restrooms on board -- a courtesy that doesn't even exist on Pirates of the Caribbean, which takes two minutes longer!

Then the next day I had to talk to a teenaged couple that was making out with wide open mouths right in the middle of guests on the top deck. Good god, people, do you have any sense of decency? I walked right up to them while their tongues were still in each other's mouth and said, "there are children present, you know."

Mark

05-31-2005, 02:49 AM

Location: Fantasmic!, Dinner Strollers
-Guest:(as they hand me their Dinner Package card, that they received when they ate dinner..) "So, where do we pick up our dinner?"

Location: Coaster, Merge
-"We have to be at an autograph signing by star tours in 10 minutes, we can make it right?"
Right...I know we aren't the largest park around, but if anyone out there can get from merge at coaster, to unload, and all the way to star tours in 10 minutes, kudos.

IndyandMarion

05-31-2005, 04:35 AM

Let me catch up here:

JordansDad: You weren't told about that river/canal? Its the same one that the boat from Magic Kingdom to Universal goes to...

PirateJohn: There's only one place that anyone could really pull making out at and get away with it (I know, cause I've done the research myself) and that's the post show area at Sounds Dangerous (And people say that attraction is worthless)...

Mark: As for you my friend, I can get from Muppets to the Fantasmic Trailer in 2 minutes...I've had friends clock me, it's been done. Seeing as you can't be Mark <deleted>, I'll say that you're the one of the new kids (With all due respect) to G-Force. Don't worry, I'm not a stalker, this is just CJ (Well, Chris to you right now, aka "The one the never smiles", CJ will come later). It'll be hard to top the ones I've had at Coaster, you can try, but you will fail.

Well before I begin rambling...

Guest: (Asking about the "morphing guitar") "That's part of the ride, right?"
Me: No, it's just the entrance to the ride.
Guest: You sure?
Me: Nope, I just say that to continue a conversation after a stupid question like that.

This isn't a HYS, much as it is just someone not getting coffee:
Rope drop during Star Wars Weekends is done on Sunset for those who aren't f'n insane, who are here for a quite, nice day in the park. As we're walking those people to Coaster or Tower (Depending on which CMs they follow) I've gotten to the point to where I say to the other CM with me (about the car outside at the entrace to the G-Force) "I thought I told you not to park the car up there"

When out of nowhere comes a comment from a guest of "How could you possibly get a car up there and then keep in up there..."

Needless to say when we (The other cast member and I) got to the load area, I sized up one of the walls, and walked briskly...right into it. Why? To destract myself from the pain of that comment.

costumesaremylife

06-10-2005, 08:45 PM

Guys, I love this website I am always behind those people in line. I worked in the Disney Store in Cambridge, MA a million years ago and my favorite thing that happened was a guest came running in like she was being chased by the mob. (At that mall anything was possible) I was standing at the register and she slams these pajamas on the counter and says, " I have to return these!!" I look down and they are a lovely Tweety Bird pajama set. So I told her that we didn't sell those, this is the Disney Store. She looked around and said, "There are pajamas right there!" So I said, "Miss we don't sell things with tweety or the WB charachters on them since this is the Disney store." She proceeded to tell me that she got them for christmas and she didn't like the person that gave them to her (ex boyfriend I think) and she just had to get rid of them. Trying for any reason to get rid of her I asked if she had the receipt. Thank god the answer was no. No one at the registers would even look at me, they just left me hanging with my new pajama hating, dumb customer. I said Miss we can't take those since you don't have the reciept and we don't have the same item (which at that time wasn't true if it was a Disney item, but oh well) why don't you try the Disney Store in Burlington. I figured if she went there they would kindly direct her to the Warner Brothers store that was there at the time. On the way out the door the CM greeter told me he heard her say to someone,"Maybe he didn't get them at this store?"

I know you guys don't work at Disney for the money (since there isn't any) It's like my job working in theater. It's love for the people and the show.

PS I'm a shareholder too all 4.444 shares.

Ho-say

06-10-2005, 11:11 PM

why don't you try the Disney Store in Burlington. I figured if she went there they would kindly direct her to the Warner Brothers store that was there at the time.

LOL! Well, at least you didn't send her to one of the Boston stores - I used to work at the Faneuil Hall store :stitch: and I worked there back in the day when we had a Warner Bros. store right down the end of the same building we were in...so we *always* got the "interesting" guest questions you did!

I loved when guests would ask me where the Pokiemon cards were... :rolleyes:

PirateJohn

06-11-2005, 10:07 AM

Hey, small world. Up until about a year and a half ago I lived in Burlington, MA. I was on Winn Street right off of exit 34.

costumesaremylife

06-11-2005, 03:14 PM

Hey, small world. Up until about a year and a half ago I lived in Burlington, MA. I was on Winn Street right off of exit 34.
Oh no! Now I have that song in my head!!!!!!!

Seriously though I have family near there. Weird. I wish I had family in orlando or anaheim though.

costumesaremylife

06-11-2005, 03:16 PM

LOL! Well, at least you didn't send her to one of the Boston stores - I used to work at the Faneuil Hall store :stitch: and I worked there back in the day when we had a Warner Bros. store right down the end of the same building we were in... so we *always* got the "interesting" guest questions you did!

I loved when guests would ask me where the Pokiemon cards were.... :rolleyes:Or why they never make anything with porky pig on it? I always told them we were all sold out. Once a woman stuffed a huge Djali the goat in her coat and walked out the door.

SoarWhoreCoCo

06-11-2005, 05:14 PM

I found this site today and just had to add my own stupid guest experiences!

I work at a resort front desk. At the time I was working at a resort that has a ferry that goes to Downtown Disney. A guest came up to the front desk and asked what time the ferry to the cruise line left. I asked her if she meant the bus to which she replied no the ferry. I began to explain that our ferry only goes to DD and we have a bus that shuttles guests to the cruise line. She began to get irritated and insisted that there is a ferry. I tried (in vain) to explain that there is no water way between WDW and Port Canaveral. She eventually walked away in a huff! :oweye:I feel your pain. When I worked at Captain Jacks (yes I have worked practically everywhere hence the Whore part of my name) at DD, I had a woman come up to the podium and ask me why the ferry dock didnt have a launch going back to MGM Studios. I explained to her the launches only ran to and from PORT/DIXIE, Disney Institute (we should've kept that name it so fitted many Guests), and DD West Side. She called me a liar and said she took the boat from MGM Studios to DD Disney. Guest Relations Deak was right next to our podium at the time, and they confirmed what I told her. Of course she took names and we were all getting fired. (yawn... go ahead and heres my nametag... you start now) She was directed by another cast member to the buses, and lady stormed off. Later that evening I got a call at the Guest Services desk... it was my phsycotic friend who rode the magic boat to DD. SHe informed me that I was a smart ass and she had just gotten off the boat from MGM at the DD Marketplace and she was looking right at my restaraunt and She was coming to talk to my manager immediately to get me fired. (Insert sound of MIdway game bells ringing in background). I said sure she was, could she tell me what was on the outside of my restaraunt she was looking at. You know very well the one with the neon fish blinking on it. I replied know it well mam Its the Flying Fish Cafe at the Boardwalk... not Cap'n jacks at the Marketplace where your calling. Have a MAGICAL DAY Ma'am. Elsewhere (then I proceeded to hang up on her)

Ho-say

06-11-2005, 05:41 PM

I replied know it well mam Its the Flying Fish Cafe at the Boardwalk...not Cap'n jacks at the Marketplace where your calling. Have a MAGICAL DAY Ma'am. Elsewhere (then I proceeded to hang up on her)

LMAO!! My ex-roomie worked at Capt. Jack's....I remember him coming home with a similar tale of guests and their confused waterways...

My favorite is when guests ask "So, I can't get the monorail to the parks from here?" (this is when they're checking into a moderate hotel that only has park transportation by Disney bus). I swear, when they watch those Disney vacation videos and see the monorail going around the Grand Flo, the Poly and the Contemp..that they assume ALL Disney resorts are connected to the monorail system. Um, did you SEE any monorail station when you got off the lovely DME bus? :rolleyes:

I once had a guest for whom I had to transfer their reservation and deposit to the Poly because they wanted a monorail resort and swore that CRO told them that ALL Disney hotels were connected via monorail (yeah, sure...I'm sure our reservation agents are running around misleading our guests about hotel amenities so that they're completely disappointed upon arrival...um, no). Funny enough, they were completely willing to pay the difference in rack rate, so I set them up with transportation to the Polynesian and they were on their merry way. Simply amazing.

GMC

06-11-2005, 10:59 PM

Thatguy

06-12-2005, 02:10 AM

I think i want a hotel job, stupid people make me happy, i'll injur myself and see if they'll put me on transitional work at front desk.

If you're a decent human being I'll wish very strongly for that not to happen to you.

saidthekat

06-12-2005, 02:23 AM

tell me, in florida, do you get alot of code m's (mullets?) i sure would like to see if i could transfer for a summer or a year, just to see the ratio, or code m to not code m.

On a futher note, every code m you touch is another 7 years of good luck, i'm up to 30 years! I think i want a hotel job, stupid people make me happy, i'll injur myself and see if they'll put me on transitional work at front desk.

i had a book shift the other day... and i was on the tinkerbell-e... and, oh my goodness, it was a total code m boat! every trip i took for the 2 hours in between parades had at least one mullet on it (if not a family of mullets). it was awesome.

Ho-say

06-12-2005, 09:09 AM

I think i want a hotel job, stupid people make me happy, i'll injur myself and see if they'll put me on transitional work at front desk.Plus, just to warn you - you'll end up having to do a ton more training if you went front desk. Not sure how it works at DLR, but at WDW it consists of 15 days of training: a full week at Disney University followed by 2 weeks of on-the-job training....

Thatguy

06-12-2005, 12:25 PM

yep, 15 days on this coast here too.

Ho-say

06-12-2005, 01:32 PM

yep, 15 days on this coast here too.

Hmmm....maybe I can move to the left coast and transfer to the Grand Californian. :D: By far the most amazing Disney resort hotel that I've seen and stayed at (though haven't yet been to Tokyo DLR and obviously not Hong Kong DLR yet)

Main Streeter

06-12-2005, 02:19 PM

i'll injur myself and see if they'll put me on transitional work at front desk.DLR can put you in laundry or as a paper shredder. Careful what you wish for GMC. Transitional work blows!!!

GMC

06-13-2005, 03:00 AM

regaurdless of what the transitional work is, somebody has to do it, granted i wouldn't want three weeks of shredding paper, i really don't mind odds and ends jobs, and the more i get ot argue the better, as long as i get a chair. I don't think Phone Room at City hall would be so bad either, i think i've expressed before that every cast member should have a week, or a day or two, where they do a different line of bussiness, or even do somethign in a different part of the park.

I have heard terrible things about training for front desk, but that might eventually be the type of job i want, like i siad though, as long as i get a chair.

No matter how crap your job is, just remind yourself, that in even some seemingly insignificant sort of way, you've helped make the magic, unless you don't work for disney, then you don't count (jk yes you do, without your role in the economy, there would be no disney!)

Main Streeter

06-13-2005, 03:28 AM

i think i've expressed before that every cast member should have a week, or a day or two, where they do a different line of bussiness, or even do somethign in a different part of the parkTotally agree with you GMC! I'm not landlocked & do work both parks. I learn so much which benefits me & our guests! Most CMs will not crossover. They aren't given the opportunity or/& they like their comfort zone. Can't blame them for wanting comfort @ DLR. GMC, set your sights on a managers position. You'll get a chair ;)

Stduck

06-13-2005, 08:24 AM

GMC, set your sights on a managers position. You'll get a chair ;)

I think I have only seen my manager sitting in his office...once (And that was for my meeting). Once at tower at Mansion (he had bumped someone out so they could talk to the lead). So a total of twice. Attractions managers are more out and about then anything.

BRWombat

06-13-2005, 09:49 AM

...unless you don't work for disney, then you don't count
I knew it! Dang my miserable life! ;)

PirateJohn

06-13-2005, 12:10 PM

unless you don't work for disney, then you don't count (jk yes you do, without your role in the economy, there would be no disney!)What about bums? :cool:

GMC

06-13-2005, 06:33 PM

yes, but they still get chairs! I still have a ways to go before management, i need to land a few leaderships roles, and maybe a college degree, but thanks for the encouragement, it means alot actually.

techie-13

06-13-2005, 08:48 PM

I think I have only seen my manager sitting in his office...once (And that was for my meeting). Once at tower at Mansion (he had bumped someone out so they could talk to the lead). So a total of twice. Attractions managers are more out and about then anything.

During my time at PGA, the Rides Supervisors were told they could only be in the office if they were handling paperwork and since Park Ops. is air-conditioned and disiplinary actions generate the most paperwork.....I think you get the idea. :rolleyes:

mouseslave

06-14-2005, 04:47 AM

Can't blame them for wanting comfort @ DLR. GMC, set your sights on a managers position. You'll get a chair ;)
When do I get my chair?

Alyssa3467

06-22-2005, 01:01 AM

I am just a guest. And now I'm on a quest. I have two trips planned this year - one to DL and one to WDW. I'm going to see if I can get myself posted on this board and earn myself a sign.

This should be fun!!! :D:
I somehow managed to get myself posted on this forum before I knew it even existed! :confused: I'm mentioned in a thread in "Stupid Employee Tricks." Before anyone asks, no, I wasn't the "stupid employee." :p:

Grumpy

06-22-2005, 11:35 AM

I somehow managed to get myself posted on this forum before I knew it even existed! :confused: I'm mentioned in a thread in "Stupid Employee Tricks." Before anyone asks, no, I wasn't the "stupid employee." :p:

:::Raises hand in a crowd::: That would be my dumb ass! :o:

Alyssa3467

06-22-2005, 04:04 PM

Don't be so hard on yourself... I've had far worse happen *cough*Fry's*cough*

Tyffni

06-22-2005, 07:09 PM

I'm pretty sure our managers use a combination of FLIK cards and knowing where the line is backed up to to make the determination on what to post as our wait time.

As far as HYS posts ... I was asked if we had animals in the park. No, we just call it "Disney's Animal Kingdom" because we thought it sounded cool.

Overheard on KS..."Are those real animals?" Nope, they're animatronics that have been rain-proofed.

A little off the subject, overheard at Busch Gardens...
CM: "Look, killer African ducks! Do you know what sound a killer African duck makes?"
Little Girl: "No"
CM: "Aflac"

IRSmart1

06-27-2005, 11:26 AM

Here's a few good ones from the parking lots and trams:

1. Q. Is this Disneyland parking or California Adventure Parking?
A. Yes

2. Q. Does the Mickey and Friends tram go by Harbor BLVD?
A. No, it doesn't.
Q. Why not?! It's facing that way!

3. Where can I see the fireworks?
A. In the Sky (Wish I could say that) :twisted:

4. This isn't Disneyland! This is Magic Mountain / Knott's Berry Farm!

5. What do you mean I can't park closer?! I have kids!!

6. G:What do you mean I can't park in front of the entrance?! I ALWAYS park there!
CM: Those parking spots no longer exist.
G: Since when???
CM: Since DCA was built.

7. G: When are you going to stop at the parking structure?
CM: The Lion King Trams do not travel to the parking structure.
G: Yes they do!! I got off right here!!
CM: Do you remember the World of Disney Store?
G: YES!
CM: That's on the other side.
G: OH....O.K.

8. G: I'm parked in the mickey and friends structure.
CM: I'm sorry, the Lion King tram doesn't go there.
G: I heard you the first time, I didn't think you were talking to me. :mad:

9. G: Do you work here?
CM: No, I got these clothes off of EBAY :twisted:
or
CM: No, I won a contest that let's me be a Cast Member for a day. :twisted:

Again, I wish I could respond that way just one time.

10. How do I get to Knott's?

11. How do I get to the hotel? (No name or clue as to which hotel is given)

12. What's the level of the parking structure called that's above the top one?

Talk about Here's your sign!!

PirateJohn

06-27-2005, 06:53 PM

Wish I could say thatWhy can't you?

FormerWDI

06-27-2005, 06:59 PM

I used to say it all the time....never got any flack from it....

Also, everyone's favorite...what time is the 4:45 parade (this was long ago)....the correct answer was always "Quarter to five." Usually, they would make it about 15 steps away before it would hit them...

ultimateWDWfan

07-05-2005, 06:23 PM

IndyandMarion

07-05-2005, 06:56 PM

Getting back to the point of the topic of stupid questions from the apparent Spelling Bee or English class that this was...

"Ladies and Gentlemen at this time, due to technical difficulties, the rock n roller coaster has been forced to suspend it's operations. In basic terms, we are closed at this time. We do not have an estimated time in which we will reopen. If you hold a fastpass, we will still honor it should we reopen later in the day. Once again at this time, due to technical difficulties, the rock n roller coaster has been forced to suspend it's operations. In basic terms, we are closed at this time. We do not have an estimated time in which we will reopen. If you hold a fastpass, we will still honor it should we reopen later in the day." (Yes, I really do say that twice)

Guest (Right in front of me)-So you guys are closed?

Me: No, no we're open, it's just a selective amount of people we're letting in right now.

(At EPCOT on July 4th, waiting a barbaric three hours for IllumiNATIONS, MGM sets off their fireworks)

Guest: Oh are those for IllumiNATIONS?
CM: They could be, however those are for the Studios.
Guest: Oh Universal?
CM: No, Paramount Park
Guest: Oh, Ok.

And, que smilie... :blowup:

CujoSR

07-15-2005, 11:38 AM

Got one for you... I was in the break room at Wal-mart and one of the other employees had left their cell phone on the table and walked away. The phone rang. When he came back I told him he got a call.

"Why didn't you answer it?"
"Because I'm pretty sure it wasn't for me."

Here's your sign...

IndyandMarion

07-17-2005, 05:32 PM

Here are two that I found in another topic (Credit added to the items):

From SilverStyle:
Guest: Does this elevator go down
Me: blank stare :confused:
(Note from IndyandMarion)Answer could have been "Nope, this is the elevator that goes side to side, the down elevator is over there.

saidthekat
So, i'm standing outside of book... because we're cycling out for the parade, and this woman walks up to me, and says "what's going to be here?"
Me: "The parade of dreams."
Guest: "WHAT'S going to be here?!"
Me: "Walt disney's parade of dreams..." and begin explaining what the parade is, who's in it, etc...
Guest: (she interrupts me in a disgusted tone), "NO! What time is the parade?!"
Me: "Oh," i say, "7:00."

IndyandMarion

07-19-2005, 06:05 AM

Wow. I didn't even realize this but I started this thread over a year ago...Wait, I've been at this site for over a year now? Jebus! Well, here we go again...time to get these stupid questions up here...if only I had some to post....:(

SoarWhoreCoCo

07-19-2005, 04:10 PM

TODAY's Great Questions and Quotes from Soarin' at Epcot:

Quote: "You better get your shit together mister we have been in line for almost an hour and forty five minutes and the sign downstairs said one hour and twenty minutes"
Reply" Sir that sign is in minutes and not hours your wait was 120 minutes which is Two hours"
"Cricket...cricket"

Quote: "You should really post a warning on your sign that this ride goes upside down"
Reply: "Why? It doesn't"
Quote: Well tht what she said, pointing to another Guest"
Reply: "She doesn't work here and obviously has never been on it"
Quote from the other Guest: "Don't listen to him he doesnt know anything"
Reply: "Have you been on Soarin' before Ma'am"
Quote from OG: "Yes, two years ago (snippy like)"
Reply: " Interesting we only opened May 5th of this year"
"Cricket...Cricket"

Announcement: "I am sorry folks but we are all out of Fastpasses for the day, there will be no more until tomorrow, PLease use the Stand-by Line, thank you."
(EVERYONE TOGETHER)
Replies from all sides in 20 seconds or less:
Will there be more later?
Are you out of Fastpass?
When will you have more?
Then how do we get on?
(REPEAT ANNOUNCEMENT LOUDER)
So you'll have more later?
Are you out of Fastpass?
Are the machines broken, will you open later?"
Is the ride broken down?
(SOUND OF MY HEAD POUNDING AGAINST A WALL)

After the Fifth Brazilian tour group in an Hour with every other person asking WHAT IS THIS GAME?
My respone: SKEEBALL ONLY BETTER :p:

IndyandMarion

07-19-2005, 04:18 PM

Negotiation Officer: CJ! Put the gun down and step away from the brazilian.

CJ: But he asked the stupidest question ever!

Officer: He's Brazilian! The only words, with all due respect, that most of them can speak clearly are FRONT ROW, Step away from them, NOW!

CJ: Alright, alright.

Random guest: What time is the 3 pm parade?

*CJ turns to the guest* :twisted:

Officer: Oh hell, here we go again. Men, get the bricks! :brick: :brick: :brick:

CJ: OK. You...Win X[

Sorry....But that group of HYS...whoa...

Main Streeter

07-20-2005, 03:57 AM

This STUPID question was asked me on Disney Land's 50th. I thought it was hysterical & was wondering where to post. Thanks CJ ;) A well dressed, very educated Texas guest came into Once Upon A Time & asked in all seriousness where our adult maternity princess or Tink costumes were :eek:. My mind leaped to the mental image. I had to run out & laugh. Wish I could have said;
"here are the children's princess & Tink costumes, here are the adults & over @ the OPS corner are the maternity princess & Tink costumes." Hummm, maybe in a few months there will be 8 dwarfs. Wish upon a star I could have said; "And here is your sign."

Stduck

07-20-2005, 02:08 PM

under the mouse's thumb

07-20-2005, 02:10 PM

this one is from a awhile back. i was working in a hotel that has only 2 small elevators for 500 rooms. needless to say, after the fireworks they would become flooded for an hour and we have no stairs to get to the upper levels. guests would become so irate and rude and take out their aggression on the front desk/guest service/ bell staff. one day a particualry nascar type gentleman walked up to a fellow cast member and said " do you know you built this hotel with only 2 elevators???? why did you do this to me??!!!" at which the cm who this comment was being directed said." sir, i only built this hotel to annoy you. that is why i only put 2 elevators in it. it's also why i didn't put any elevators in my parking garage either. i planned this all out over 20 years just to ruin your vacation. my dream is now complete." he was so pissed beyond comprehension that i thought his head was going to explode. the guest then stormed off back towards the elevator line yelling the whole way. other guests then basically told him to shut up.

Main Streeter

07-21-2005, 02:26 AM

Maybe not so stupid a question actually. Maybe mother to be in question wanted to be a princess for halloween and is going to be showing? Funny but I don't know if its a HYS.Good point STduck, but the wanted princess costume was not needed for Halloween. I asked ;) The guest's nanny simply wanted a princess costume to wear around the house & out shopping when in Mexico. Long story. Maybe not a HYS stamp but the entire store laughed all night. Maybe this was a "you had to be there type thing." :D:

IndyandMarion

08-10-2005, 03:51 PM

Guest: Did anyone find a hat?

Me: Yeah, we've got a few, what's it look like?

Guest: Like this (Generalizing the description of the hat to simply "Like this")

Me: So a round thing with a bill on it?

Guest: No, it's got four icons on it, looks just like this (Despite the fact that the hat she was holding looked nothing like what she was describing).

This one isn't so much a HYS, as it is just the way she worded things.

Lasolimu

08-10-2005, 06:44 PM

There was a great HYS at the restaurant that I just got home from. It may not be Disney but it is funny.

*A group walks into the front door.*
Hostess: Hello, how many?
Guest: Five. Is there a wait?
Hostess: Yes, five to ten minutes.
(What the hostess should have said: No, these people are just here to see how many people ask if there is a wait.)

tenprincess

08-10-2005, 10:09 PM

Complete side note from the HYS saga, I LOVE Skippy!!! I adore your picture of it, he is the only thing that makes Stich worth while. Oh but here's a story relevant to this board.

Some time last week, I was greeter at stich.

Guest: What kind of ride is this?
Me: It's not a ride, it's a show.
Guest: Are there a lot of drops?
Me: No, it's a show.
Guest: So is there any spinning?
Me: NO, again this is a show, there is no movement.
Guest: This isn't where the kid died is it?
Me: (Wanting to say that no goats have died at Disney) No, that was mission space, the child didn't die on ride. (At this point I walked away pretending to flick a flick card)

SoarWhoreCoCo

08-10-2005, 10:12 PM

Sorry Soarin' tale again:

We were just finishing grouping for a flight tonight when a lady and her little girl come up the stairs from Gate A to the main Jetway load area, I think she is giving little Mary a scolding so I turn around to send a few filler parties down the jetway, when I hear my Coord running up to little Mary and mom and say "Madam you can not let your daughter go to the bathroom on the floor! You need to exit and use the restroom!" I turn to see little Mary butt naked from waist down getting ready to tinkle all over the loading ramp! Her reply to my Coord was (and this is the kicker) "Really?!". (Here is your neon sign madam!) :oweye:

VICisGOOFY

08-10-2005, 10:51 PM

tenprincess

08-10-2005, 10:58 PM

OMG, I can definatly relate, and my fellow Tland people have already been grossed out by this story. I was working stich briefing room, and I was leading a group into a theater. A lady approached me before she entered and asked me if I could throw her cup away. I agreed, because I didn't want to pick it up off the floor later. She then told me to be careful, and not to spill it. Of course I ask why (I shouldn't have since ignorance is bliss), she then told me her kid really had to go to the bathroom, so she had him pee in the drink cup. EEEWWWWW! I threw it away, ran into the breakroom, and had my coordinator take over my position so I could wash my hands several times!

BullFrog

08-11-2005, 09:51 AM

Hello, I’m new to this site. I've been lurking for a while and I finally had to comment. While I've never worked for Disney I have worked in tech support, which has a similar problem, "stupid users".

This last weekend I was able to spend three days at Disneyland and I was gotten for asking this very question.

Here's a few good ones from the parking lots and trams:

3. Where can I see the fireworks?
A. In the Sky (Wish I could say that) :twisted:

Talk about Here's your sign!!

I was standing in front of the Castle and the CM gave the above answer exactly. But it went further, while I was still laughing at myself for asking such a stupid question I asked another one, . . . trying to clarify.

Q- Where can you see the fire works from?"
A - Anywhere in the park.

Here's your(my) second sign.:banana:I earned it. LOL

I was laughing about that all the way through the fireworks show. The CM's delivery of the lines was flawless.

I wish I'd gotten the CM's name so I could give them credit and pat them on the back but alas I did not.

Anyway, to add my name to the list Disneylover needs to get a life, Indy is awesome. Keep it up guy's!

To me its the CM's that give Disneyland the magic that everyone enjoys so much. Over my three day weekend I talked to TONS of CM's and everyone of them was SO nice to me, it was wonderful. You guy's ROCK! My hats off to each and every one of you.

I'm pleased to say that after 30 years of going to Disneyland once a year, I've finally purchased AP's! And I promise not to be one of obnoxious ap's.

The BullFrog:notink:

Stduck

08-11-2005, 10:01 AM

New response to the firework question given by a fellow CM (well at least this is what he wanted to say)

G: Where are the Fireworks? And Where is the best place to be?
CM: In the sky and on the ground.

Lasolimu

08-11-2005, 10:07 AM

To me its the CM's that give Disneyland the magic that everyone enjoys so much. Over my three day weekend I talked to TONS of CM's and everyone of them was SO nice to me, it was wonderful. You guy's ROCK! My hats off to each and every one of you.

I agree 100% on this point. Since the company likes to call it a stage I shall do the same and liken the situation unto a stage. I imagine that most of us have gone to see a play or musical some time in our lives. Now imagine that none of the cast or crew showed up to a performance; it would not be very good as you don't get to see anything because no one has turned on the lights. Of course after the CMs it goes to little kids who still look in wonder when they see some of the effects around the park. The effects don't work for me anymore because I am a stage hand and need to be able to figure out how to do things like that and most of the time I do so without thinking about it. I wish I lived cooser to ANY Disney park so I could go more often and interact with you CMs; you guys rock.

BullFrog

08-11-2005, 10:09 AM

Overheard on KS..."Are those real animals?" Nope, they're animatronics that have been rain-proofed.

On Monday I was in the Smoking section on the Dock at Disneyland :dope: and I heard no fewer than three separate parties come by and ask if the Ducks were real. I started stepping up saying that they were fake. The kicker is that no one doubted me.

tenprincess

08-11-2005, 02:43 PM

It was after park closing and I was covering the turnstiles when I noticed a guest and his family walking up to me trying to get in line for the attraction.

Me: I'm sorry sir, we are closed for the night.
Guest: Really, what time did you close tonight?
Me: Ten o'clock.
Guest: My watch says 9, I think you have the wrong time.
Me: Sir, I know it's past 10 because the fireworks are going off.
Guest: Are you sure they aren't at 9?
Me: Positive.
Guest: But my watch says 9.
Me: Sir, you do know that florida is in a different time zone?
Guest: huh?
Me: :banghead:

SRT_GB

08-11-2005, 06:16 PM

I was underneath the Main Street Railroad station in front of the Station Break shop when a guest came up to me to ask me where she can rent strollers. I told her that she had to go straight then turn right to exit the tunnel and the Stroller shop was going to be on her left side. She then left to "follow" my directions towards the Stroller shop and I followed her because I needed to go there anyways. She manages to ask two different castmembers to tell her the same direction towards the stroller shop. It amazes me that people need to ask CMs every 10 seconds Because I guess they end up forgetting.
I can't remember how many guests got lost when I gave them directions to DL Strollers from Newsstand or Guide II (the souvenir stand on the other side of the tunnel from Strollers). Or how they walked right past Strollers to Guide II and didn't notice it.

It's also surprising how many guests would get lost after I gave them clear, concise directions from a Guide stand to City Hall, Emporium, Mad Hatter, Showcase, or the ODV wagons on Town Square. Note that all of these locations are on Town Square and are visible from both Guide stands.

Speaking of not listening to directions, here's one that always happens to us at the DLH Marina Sundries shop:
Guest: Where's the restroom?
CM: BEFORE you go out that door, make a right and it's at the bottom of the staircase on your left hand side.
The guest then goes out the door, looks around, doesn't see a staircase.
Guest returns to store.
Guest: Where was that again?
CM: :banghead:

SRT_GB

08-11-2005, 06:42 PM

VICisGOOFY I just noticed your signature:Guest: $19.16 for a disposable camera. Its cheaper in Wal-Mart
Me: Welcome to the World of Disney Econonmics 101
Which brings me to some nice guest-CM exchanges I've encountered in stores that sell film and sundries.

Guest: $19.38 for a disposable camera? It's like 7 bucks at [Wal-Mart, Target, Sav-on].
CM: Actually, this exact camera is about $12 at Sav-on, I saw it yesterday.
or: Well Target is a mile south, Sav-on is a mile west, and Wal-Mart is 3 miles north.

Guest: Do you carry Children's Advil?
CM: No, we only carry Children's Tylenol.
G: Well, I'm a pediatrician and I know that Children's Advil is better than Tylenol. Why don't you carry it? That's unacceptable!
CM: Well, if you're a doctor, and you know Children's Advil is better, why didn't you bring some with you?
*crickets chirping*

Guest: Do you carry Children's Tylenol?
Me: We used to, but it was recalled by the manufacturer and they haven't sent us new product yet.
Guest: Well what am I supposed to do?
Me: The Compass Bookstore kiosk in Downtown Disney does carry Children's Advil and Motrin, but all tablet forms of Children's Tylenol were recalled nationwide. Not even drugstores have them right now; they only have the liquid form.
Guest: That's stupid.
At this point I wanted to go into a lecture about how if there is a nationwide recall of anything, especially medicine, it's probably for a good reason. Instead I gave them directions to the Compass kiosk.

hobie16

08-11-2005, 07:48 PM

Guest: $19.38 for a disposable camera? It's like 7 bucks at [Wal-Mart, Target, Sav-on].
CM: Actually, this exact camera is about $12 at Sav-on, I saw it yesterday.
or: Well Target is a mile south, Sav-on is a mile west, and Wal-Mart is 3 miles north. An alternative might be to go into an economics rap. Something along the lines of, "Because Disney only has two parks in the US vs. Wal-Marts 3500 stores, we're unable to match the pricing power that Wal-Mart commands. As we expand our presence into every city, town and village nation-wide, we'll reduce our prices on (fill in the blank) accordingly.

Polar33

08-12-2005, 12:40 AM

An alternative might be to go into an economics rap. Something along the lines of, "Because Disney only has two parks in the US vs. Wal-Marts 3500 stores, we're unable to match the pricing power that Wal-Mart commands. As we expand our presence into every city, town and village nation-wide, we'll reduce our prices on (fill in the blank) accordingly.
Along the same lines, when someone complains that a bottle of Coke costs $2.75 and they can get it at 7-11 for less, I remind them that 7-11 dosn't have attractions, shows and parades so their operating cost is considerably lower. If that dosn't work I'll remind them that it's still cheeper then what they would pay at a movie theatre.

SoarWhoreCoCo

08-12-2005, 07:14 AM

Along the same lines, when someone complains that a bottle of Coke costs $2.75 and they can get it at 7-11 for less, I remind them that 7-11 dosn't have attractions, shows and parades so their operating cost is considerably lower. If that dosn't work I'll remind them that it's still cheeper then what they would pay at a movie theatre.

Polar, thats the best response I have heard yet, I am going to have to remember to use it next time I hear the $$ complaint. Thanks :D:

MonorailBlack

08-12-2005, 08:53 AM

How about READ the signs? I drove monorail yellow to the epcot station the other day, a guest on the train asked "Where is the Contemporary?" I explained that they would need to return to TTC to get the resort Monorail. "But they said to take this monorail." I asked if they read the signs before boarding. "No." Duh!!!

BRWombat

08-12-2005, 09:33 AM

On Monday I was in the Smoking section on the Dock at Disneyland :dope: and I heard no fewer than three separate parties come by and ask if the Ducks were real. I started stepping up saying that they were fake. The kicker is that no one doubted me.
Not a SGT, more of a Disney-magic-through-a-kid's-eyes-trick -- This reminded me of when my family and I were staying at Wilderness Lodge a few years back, we had a room overlooking the otter pond on the north side. One morning we saw a rabbit hopping around under our balcony. My then-8-year-old son watched it closely for a while, and then turned to me and asked, "Is that a real rabbit or a Disney rabbit?" :)

IndyandMarion

08-12-2005, 04:42 PM

Guest: Is it really a 40 minute wait?
Me: The wait system is currently facing some problems, either way, the wait is about 15 to 20 minutes.
Guest: So it's a 15 to 20 minute wait?
Me: Yeah...
Guest: Are you sure?
Me: No princess, I'm just here to randomly generate wait times for guests, here's you sign.
(Apparently she had been here to the site because)
Guest: Oh no, your CJ aren't you?
Me: You got it.

Main Streeter

08-13-2005, 02:45 AM

Guest: Are you sure?
Me: No princess, I'm just here to randomly generate wait times for guests, here's you sign.
(Apparently she had been here to the site because)
Guest: Oh no, your CJ aren't you?
Me: You got it.Are you becoming famous or infamous CJ? :) Was in ToT breakroom 3 wks ago when I overheard 2 DLR CMs discussing their future trip to WDW. WDW fun wasn't their topic. They were finally going to meet "The real" Chris from R n R Coaster & "he is so cool!" Couldn't help it ;) turned & asked if "the real" Chris was CJ? They both did a double & with wide eyes asked if I'd actually met you. So wanted to lead them on & say yes. Soon you'll have to hire an agent & P R firm:D: Remember, you got your big break on SGTs :cool:

tenprincess

08-13-2005, 09:32 AM

Are you becoming famous or infamous CJ? :) Was in ToT breakroom 3 wks ago when I overheard 2 DLR CMs discussing their future trip to WDW. WDW fun wasn't their topic. They were finally going to meet "The real" Chris from R n R Coaster & "he is so cool!" Couldn't help it ;) turned & asked if "the real" Chris was CJ? They both did a double & with wide eyes asked if I'd actually met you. So wanted to lead them on & say yes. Soon you'll have to hire an agent & P R firm:D: Remember, you got your big break on SGTs :cool:

You should have told them he isn't real. He is just a animatronic we have at wdw, which is programed with blue collar humor. Either way, why is it I can picture swarms of teenie-boper girls swarming mgm looking for some guy they met on the internet, poster board and everything. :p:

IndyandMarion

08-13-2005, 12:57 PM

Shh. Shut up Tenprincess! Don't let them know the truth damn it! Don't you remember that we work somewhere in which "it's all magic"? :D:

I think it's a little both. I'm famous for creating The Disney Saga and I'm infamous for catching people in the net. In all reality, you guys made The Disney Saga "famous"...I'm just riding along side of it.

I've been tellin the crew at G-Force about everything going on here and they're confused about everything. I can't help but think that I'll be talking to a 21 year old, blonde female from Orlando and they come looking for me:love: ...and it ends up being Earl who is 39, fat, has a beard and never heard of Orlando until he came to the site. :oweye:

But....

I was walking outside through the shop when someone comes up to me this morning.
Guest: Is this the shop for the Rock n Roller Coaster?
Me: *Looks around* Nope. This is the shop for Star Tours. Coaster's is at the bottom of the ramp over there.

Guest: *In the G-Force Lobby aka Studio B* Is this a roller coaster?
Me: Nope, this is really the Great Movie Ride.
Guest: Really? Then where is the Rock n Roller Coaster.
Me: Alright. I can't take this. Step back for a second and think about what you just asked and where your at...
:banghead:

tenprincess

08-13-2005, 10:48 PM

I've been tellin the crew at G-Force about everything going on here and they're confused about everything. I can't help but think that I'll be talking to a 21 year old, blonde female from Orlando and they come looking for me:love: ...and it ends up being Earl who is 39, fat, has a beard and never heard of Orlando until he came to the site. :oweye:

Hey, don't make too much fun of 21 year old blondes. Well, it's blonde with a redish tint, but still...

ten90six

08-14-2005, 02:45 AM

me: (standing beneath a sign that says "Express Monorail to Transportation and Ticket Center/ Magic Kingdom Parking")
guest: does this train go to the parking lot?
me: nope, it's the express monorail to neverland! weeeeeeee!!!

And I only would get asked that about 156392 times each night. At least the Britts spice it up for me and ask where the 'car parks' are. :)

IndyandMarion

08-14-2005, 06:14 PM

Hey, don't make too much fun of 21 year old blondes. Well, it's blonde with a redish tint, but still...
Take it you've never seen Inside the Actors Studio when Robin Williams was on there...

Updated HYS list will be posted soon. On 08/16/05, WDW will witness the rise of the phenomena that is Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga...

BRWombat

08-15-2005, 07:56 AM

Hey, don't make too much fun of 21 year old blondes. Well, it's blonde with a redish tint, but still...
Or for that matter, fat middle age guys with beards, either! :)

IndyandMarion

08-15-2005, 08:10 AM

:banghead:

Again, take it you've never seen Inside the Actors Studio when Robin Williams was on there...

You'd know that I was joking if you had.

tenprincess

08-15-2005, 09:56 AM

:banghead:

Again, take it you've never seen Inside the Actors Studio when Robin Williams was on there...

You'd know that I was joking if you had.

Sarcasm, I'm full of it. :p: it's all good

Jerseybelle

08-15-2005, 01:05 PM

Hey everybody, I'm new here, obviously right? Anyways, I was a CP during Spring 2002, I worked in the Magic Kingdom on Main Street East. I think this site is awesome. I think it is so cool that there is a site like this for CMs to vent.

So here is one of my interesting conversations with a guest: (I am working in the Confectionary and a Guest comes rushing in through the door right up to me with his wife and kids in tow. He is holding a map and looking extremely lost)

Guest: I need your help! I have to find Main Street

Me: Ok sir, well if you go right out this door you will be on Main Street (Mind you I didn't laugh at the fact that he just walked in to the store from Main Street)

Guest: No you don't understand I have to show my kids the Castle. I need to find Main Street

Me: Oh no don't tell me they moved it again.

Guest: (looks at me like his whole world was crushed) (His wife is just shaking her head cause she realizes her husband is, how do i put this nicely, pleasantly clueless!)

Me: Sir I promise you if you walk out this door right here that the Castle will be there on your right. They have probably replaced it by now

Well they left and they didnt come back to I'm guessing that they found it. I was in awe of this I mean when you walk into the Magic Kingdom the Castle is the first thing you see!

But here's his sign! :rolleyes:

tenprincess

08-16-2005, 12:56 AM

This happened to my co-worker tonight, and it is just simply hillarious.
He was working in one of the theaters at Stitch, and he was clearing the theater at the end of the show when he noticed a woman who was still sitting in her seat. She then turned to him and asked when is the ride going to start... :brick:
Apparently she wasn't paying attention to the 20 min show she had just sat through.

HYS!

BRWombat

08-16-2005, 08:02 AM

Sarcasm, I'm full of it. :p: it's all good
Same here. :D: :D: At least, people are always telling me I'm full of it. I'm sure that's what they mean, right??? :confused:

IndyandMarion

08-16-2005, 06:47 PM

JerseyBelle and Ten, your HYS's will be entered into the next installment:

Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga Episode II: Attack of the Cloned Questions

IndyandMarion

08-16-2005, 06:53 PM

UPDATE:

As the release of the book to the world draws near, the first book in the saga has recieved it's own cover which can be viewed through the attachment I supplied.

Text at the top of the photo reads:

I just hate stupid people. I think they should have to wear signs that say "I’m Stupid". That way you wouldn’t rely on them, you wouldn’t ask them anything because you’d turn to the person and say "Excuse me, Oh, sorry, didn’t see your sign."-Bill Engvall, Creator of "Here’s Your Sign"

And yes, the fonts for the cover you have seen:

Here's Your Sign=Mission: SPACE font
The Disney Saga=Disney Font
My Name=EPCOT Font

IndyandMarion

08-16-2005, 07:07 PM

Below is the book that can be found in two places: Right here, The Coaster Break Room, and my computer...ok, so that's three but you get the point. Enjoy. This is our book. I introduced the site to the idea, but you guy's have made it what it is now.

StupidGuestTricks.com
The site where it all began. The safe haven for all CM’s to go and vent the hell out of anything that they dealt with at work...and not get in a lick of trouble because of it. A place to have fun and the only place where you can find, Here’s Your Sign: The Disney Saga....aside from the break room now.

"Here’s Your Sign" is most famous from one of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour guys, Bill Engvall. It’s the stupid answer to the stupid question, simple as that. Working here at the mouse house, you will run into that situation (I’ve done the research, it’s something you cannot run from). This "book" has grown to an enormous size thanks to SGT, simply because other CM’s continue to add to it. What you’re about to encounter is that very book. All of the questions are here in their original context, nothing has been changed.

Now obviously, we’ve got to stick with that whole "Guest courtesy" idea but listen, you can’t help it when some of these questions arise. Some of these answers may be "harsh" to an extent but realize this, it was all in a joking manor, the guest was informed of the situation and they were given the correct information....after they were handed their "I’m Stupid" sign. Most of these are my own personal encounters. However, this is a collection of questions from both WDW and Disneyland in California. There are occasional items in which a guest didn’t ask a stupid question, it’s just the way they stated their comment. One final note, these came from the website, so certain situations weren’t corrected (Because I didn’t change them...I had the time, just didn’t want to waste it changing the items) and may come across as odd in how they are worded.

CM=Cast Member

G=Guest

G: What time does the 3 o'clock parade start?

CM: At 4 o' clock (SHE WALKED AWAY)

G: Where is the Terminator Ride?
CM: Ok, lots of directions so you might want to write these down. Go to the exit of the park, go back to I-4 and go east bound...(This ride is at Universal Studios so, You know the rest)

G: Where is the Prime Time Café?
(This was actually given as the answer)CM : From here?
(This has to be the first time I have EVER run into a H.Y.S for an ANSWER.)

G: (Standing no more than ten feet away from a restroom) Where's the restroom?
CM: (Pointing in the opposite direction) Down the walk way to your right.

G: (This was a TEN MINUTE ARGUMENT) Where is the boat from MAGIC KINGDOM to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS?
CM: I believe the dock is at Animal Kingdom (The idiot, he lost the "Guest" status after the argument got passed the five second mark, finally gave up)

G: (While standing inside the shop) Where's the gift shop for Star Tours?
CM: (Look around the shop) Sorry sir/ma'am, we don't have one.

G: (In the shop) Is this the exit for Star Tours?
CM: No actually this is the entrance, the exit is over by the Tower of Terror

G: (No more than 20 feet away from the attraction) Where is Star Tours?
CM: Go back to the hat, walk down Mickey Ave. to Streets of America (recently changed from New York Street), walk to the end of that and make a right, then a left. (Basically, this gives them a tour of the park, and they finally end up at Star Tours)

G: Is Rock n’ Roller Coaster this way? (Pointing towards Star Tours area which is on the opposite side of the park)
CM: Yes

G: Is the Tower of Terror this way (Again pointing towards Star Tours area)
CM: We actually don't have that anymore, it was moved to Disneyland.

G: Do you have a map? (While standing in front of a stack)
CM: More important question, do you have a brain in your skull?

G: How do I get to the monorail to EPCOT? (Question asked at The Studios)
CM: I'm sorry, we just finished tearing that down.

I was walking by the Astro Orbiter (In Tomorrowland at Magic Kingdom) and I was hoping I had misheard the group wrong. Sure enough, they said what I heard:
G: Oh look! There's MISSION: SPACE! (An argument then started over the location of MS, which is located at EPCOT).

G: What is the wait time for Rockin Roller Coaster? (With a sign telling the time above them in bold letters saying "Wait Time" that clearly states 10 minutes)
CM: About 3 hours, give or take a day..

G: Where is the Backlot Express? (While HOLDING A MAP IN HER HAND, WITH IT OPEN, AND YES, STANDING IN FRONT OF THE BACKLOT EXPRESS)
CM: First thing, go to lost and found and see if they found your head!

G: How much is this? (WHILE THE PRICE TAG WAS IN FRONT OF HER ON THE ITEM!)
CM: Too expensive for you.

G: Do you think they'll have this hat at UNIVERSAL STUDIOS?CM: Before you look for that hat, Do they sell brains where you come from?

Father: (While at the Indiana Jones Outpost...yes, at the Studios) How do I get to the MGM Studios?
Daughter: Dad, we're at MGM
Father: No, we're at Universal right now
(I was passing through the shop) I have no comment for this, other than when I walked backstage, I pulled out my pistol (At the moment I was working at the Outpost), stuck it in my mouth and hoping it would somehow fire a bullet, pulled the trigger.

G: Where is the Prime Time Cafe (Again, with a map, open and in their hands...standing in front of the cafe...)
CM: Its at Downtown Disney.

G: (While at the Outpost, with a MAGIC KINGDOM MAP OPEN) Where is Tom Sawyers Island?
CM: Um, about 10, maybe 20 miles from here.

Announcement: " This tram goes to the main car parking lot and the complementary bus lot ONLY. We do not go to the Disney Buses" This is announced about five times. I over heard a guy in front of me ask his wife (I'm guessing)
G:"Does this go to the DISNEY BUSES?"

Guest 1: Guess how many people Animal Kingdom can hold.
Guest 2: How many?
Guest 1: about 40,000.
Guest 2: Oh? Here at Disney World in general
(I'm not even going to make one up. Just shoot her!!)

Outside of the River Rapids (A sign posted reads "Might Get SOAKED")
G: "Wow, lots of people are coming off here really wet"
CM: "Really? Wow, who would've thought you could get soaked on a RIVER RAPID WATER RIDE

G: "How do we get over to that area" (Pointing to Everest, which was clearly visible as being accessible to guests at the time)
CM: "Swim across the lake and hope you don't get caught"

G: Are you using these seats?"
G (No, this is not a typo):"Nope, we're just hoarding them in case there is a chair shortage"

G: (While waiting to escort the next wheelchair party, which was located near a concession stand) "Are you in line?"
CM: "Nope. Just a strange coincidence that I'm wearing the exact same thing as the people who work here"

Announcement: Due to inclimate weather, this performance of the Disney Stars and Motorcars Parade, has been cancelled.
G: "Why has the parade been cancelled?"
CM: "Because we didn't feel like having it"

28. *Stage manager comes on the intercom at Fantasmic*
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do have some unwanted news. At this time, the show has been postponed due to lightning in the area. The reason because of this is for the safety of our cast and guests."
(Place was dead silence during the announcement) No more than 10 seconds later, I get the question...
"Why was the show delayed?"

G: "I have a question. What time do they roll the EPCOT ball out?"
CM: Sir, the Spaceship Earth is stationary
G: Yeah, what time do they bring it out?
CM: "6:30"

G:: Is this a ride?
CM: No this is a show we only call it The Great Movie Ride to confuse you.

G: Which way to the monorail?
CM: We dont have a monorail here at the Studios
G: Yes you do! I came here this morning on one!
CM: Oh, we tore that one down a few hours ago.
G: What?
CM: Here's Your Sign. Listen, You either drove, took a bus or took the boat to get here. We don't have a monorail here at the Studios.

From a friend at the Animation Tour shop
G: Can I get to the TERROR OF TOWER (What the guest actually called it) cutting through here?
CM: Sure, as long as you don't get caught.
G: Why? It shows a walkway leading from here to the Tower.
CM: Really? Can you show me on the map?
Guest:( Looked for it) Oh, I see the walkway now...

Same guy from earlier (About the monorail):
G: Is this the line for SpectroMagic? (Asking about the Line for Fantasmic....for those of you who aren't WDW savvy, SpectroMagic is a parade at Magic Kingdom...Fantasmic! is at the Studios....theres a 10-15 mile difference between the Studios and the MK park itself)
Me: Nope, this is the line for that monorail we tore down earlier.

G: Is there a parade? (People are lined up along the street)
CM: Nope, we just like to see how many people we can get to stand on the side of the street from time to time.

G: Is there a parade? (I know, same question, different situation)
(The parade is no more than 30 yards away from the location and the music is on)
CM: Nope, the streets on fire and we're clearing the street because of it.

G: Is Back to the Future near Tower of Terror.
CM: Sorta. Do you have a car?
G: What’s that got to do with anything?
CM: Because youll need to it drive to Universal to ride Back to the Future.

G: Ok, Im trying to get to Epcot. I know there's a monorail from Epcot to Magic Kingdom, but.
CM: STOP! Right there, the answer is no.
G: How rude, you dont even know what I was going to ask.
CM: Given the situation, your about to ask if we have one from the Studios to Epcot.
G: How did you know?
CM: Im physic, here's your sign.

-( From a friend) (At EPCOT at 7:30 pm)

G: Im trying to get to the monorail for Animal Kingdom to watch the fireworks at Animal Kingdom.
CM: Im sorry ma'ma but the monorail has stopped running due to technical problems and the fireworks were at 4:30....
G: Oh? I was over there around that time...
CM: Ugh. Ma'ma, there isnt a monorail at AK and there arent any fireworks due to the animals...
G: Is this Rock n Roller Coaster?
CM: Nope, this is actually Star Tours

G: Is the wait time actually ten minutes?
CM: Actually it was about thirty minutes ago, now its about an hour wait.

(In the courtyard there is a GIANT Les Paul for those of you who have never been to RRC. The arm of the guitar morphs outward into a track like look with a car at the end of the "track." The car never moves and it is clearly visible that it is not the coaster)
G: Is that part of the track?
CM:Yes, the track just magically appears out of no where at a certain point and then disappears again.

G: Is Aerosmith actually here everyday?
CM: Yes, Their career is completely finished so they come in every day and record songs here at the coaster.

G: Does this roller coaster have any loops? (After reading a sign saying that this ride contains high speed loops, sudden drops and stops.)
CM: Nope, as a matter of fact, this isn't even a roller coaster.
G:Does the Great American Adventure Ride have fastpass?
Now I thought she might have been talking about the American Adventure over at EPCOT (This was asked at MGM, Coaster). I thought for a moment seriously thinking she might be thinking about that or GMR.
CM: You sure thats the name?
G: Yes, it's here at MGM.
CM: It's not the American attraction at EPCOT?
G: No, ITS THE ONE HERE
CM: Ma'ma, we dont have a ride here at the Studios by that name
G: YES YOU DO IT'S BEHIND THE HAT.
So I proceeded to pull out a map sitting on top of the Fastpass machine and said "Ok, then please show me where it is on the map"
She searched for it and said thats it! (pointing to GMR).
CM: Ok, so your Great American Adventure Ride is the Great Movie Ride, no they dont have fastpass.

I was at the West Side one night when I called AAA because I had magically locked my keys in my car )Thank you car God( when the guy arrived I had a hanger in my window that a friend had with him and the guy asked "You the one that locked your keys in the car?"
"Nope, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry.

I was back in Backlot area lookin at the Auto show in costume (Like three people from the coaster crew was over there printing up FP for Super Soaps) when I had this person come up to me and ask "Is this the new auto show?" (For those of you that don't know, the show's Marque in GIANT letters said LIGHTS, MOTORS, ACTION! Extreme Motor Stunt Show)
-Nope. This is the new stage for a combination of Fantasmic, Beauty and the Beast and the return of the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

-Super Soaps (Hell on earth for anyone who doesn't watch them Day) weekends: I had a guest ask me who was in a limo we sent around empty (aside from the actor). Im not one who watches soaps so I hadn't a clue. Anyways I told them that I didn't know other than it was some soap actor. "Really?"
Nope. It was the George Bush

G: Why is the wait 70 minutes?
CM: Because it is a busy day here at the Studios.
G: Why is it busy?
CM: Because it's Thanksgiving week and this is the beginning of the holiday season for us.
G: Is it really 70 minutes?
CM: Nope, it's really only 25, we're just testing you.
G:Why is there a lot of people in line?
CM: Because it's a busy day....(In my head)there wouldn't be a lot of people, but we heard you were coming and grabbed hundreds of people and put them in line before you got here.
NOTE: EVERY ONE OF THE QUESTIONS...CAME FROM THE SAME PERSON!

G: Is it really a (Enter wait time) wait?
CM: Nope, it's really about 5 hours longer.

G: Why aren't there any fastpasses?
CM: Because we have given the amount we distribute every day out.
G:Will there be any more today?
CM: No. We have given them all out for the Coaster.
G: So there won't be any for the other attractions?
CM: Let me consult my magic 8 ball....for you, all signs point to no. (Actual answer: Can't say for sure)

G: Are the machines down (About fastpass, a sign saying the reason why we dont have any more, all of them have been given out for the day)?
CM: Nope, we're just done for the day.
G: So they'll be up later today?
CM: Nope, we're getting ready to tear them down right now.

G: Fastpass return?
CM: No, it's over there (This was at Stand by)
G: But the sign says this is return
CM: (To myself, in my head)Go back to school and learn how to read you idiot. (Actual answer, no sir, it's over there where it states Fastpass Return)

G: (Second part of child swap, fastpass was a little backed up) How long is the wait for Fastpass
CM: About ten minutes, eh, fifteen tops.
G: No it's not, I just waited in line for 40 mins.
CM: (In my head, again) Notice you waited in stand by! He isn't. You want to judge wait times, get a job here.

G: Is this the tower of terror (At Rock n Roller Coaster...standing at Studio C)?
CM: Nope, this is actually the muppets 3-D

G: Is the the exit for the roller coaster? (Standing at the ENTRACE OF COASTER)
CM:Nope, this is actually the exit for Tower of Terror
G: (After the speil says "Sharp drops, sudden drops and upside down manuevers) Does this go upside down?
CM: Nope, its all just one straight peice of track.

G: Is this the entrance to that (Pointing at Tower, while in the Coaster courtyard).
CM: Nope. This is the entrance to the parking lot.

MANAGER: You forgot your gloves? (Note: While it was in the 50s in the morning, the wind was blowing so it felt like the 40s)
CM: Nope. They got so cold themselves they jumped off my hands to locate the sheep from which they came from.

G: Can you go on this ride if you're pregnant? (To a male)
CM: If I'M pregnant?!?! I think I'd be too busy doing the morning talk show circuit!
Or
CM: Listen. If I was pregnant, going on this ride would be the least of my worries right now.
G: (Asking about the "morphing guitar") "That's part of the ride, right?"
CM: No, it's just the entrance to the ride.
G: You sure?
CM: Nope, I just say that to continue a conversation after a stupid question like that.

G: Are guys are closed? (People walking into the line)
CM: No, no we're open, it's just a selective amount of people we're letting in right now.

(At EPCOT on July 4th, waiting a barbaric three hours for IllumiNATIONS, MGM sets off their fireworks)
G: Oh are those for IllumiNATIONS?
CM: They could be, however those are for the Studios.
G: Oh Universal?
CM: No, Paramount Park
G: Oh, Ok.

Quote: "You better get your shit together mister we have been in line for almost an hour and forty five minutes and the sign downstairs said one hour and twenty minutes"
CM: "Sir that sign is in minutes and not hours your wait was 120 minutes which is Two hours"

G: "You should really post a warning on your sign that this ride goes upside down"
CM: "Why? It doesn't"
G: Well that’s what she said, pointing to another Guest"
CM: "She doesn't work here and obviously has never been on it"
G2: "Don't listen to him he doesn’t know anything"
CM: "Have you been on Soarin' before Ma'am"

G: "Yes, two years ago (snippy like)"
CM: " Interesting we only opened May 5th of this year"

*Break Time*

Negotiation Officer: CJ! Put the gun down and step away from the brazilian.
CJ: But he asked the stupidest question ever!
Officer: He's Brazilian! The only words, with all due respect, that most of them can speak clearly are FRONT ROW, Step away from them, NOW!
CJ: Alright, alright.
Random guest: What time is the 3 pm parade?
*CJ turns to the guest*
Officer: Oh hell, here we go again.

*Back to the In-Flight Movie*

G: Did anyone find a hat?
CM: Yeah, we've got a few, what's it look like?
G: Like this (Generalizing the description of the hat to simply "Like this")
CM: So a round thing with a bill on it?
G: No, it's got four icons on it, looks just like this (Despite the fact that the hat she was holding looked nothing like what she was describing).

G: What kind of ride is this?
CM: It's not a ride, it's a show.
G: Are there a lot of drops?
CM: No, it's a show.
G: So is there any spinning?
CM: NO, again this is a show, there is no movement.
G: This isn't where the kid died is it?
CM: (Wanting to say that no goats have died at Disney) No, that was mission space, the child didn't die on ride. (At this point I walked away pretending to flick a flick card)

G: Where are the Fireworks? And Where is the best place to be?
CM: In the sky and on the ground.

CM: I'm sorry sir, we are closed for the night.
G: Really, what time did you close tonight?
CM: Ten o'clock.
G: My watch says 9, I think you have the wrong time.
CM: Sir, I know it's past 10 because the fireworks are going off.
G: Are you sure they aren't at 9?
CM: Positive.
G: But my watch says 9.
CM: Sir, you do know that florida is in a different time zone?
Guest: huh?

G: Is it really a 40 minute wait?
Me: The wait system is currently facing some problems, either way, the wait is about 15 to 20 minutes.
G: So it's a 15 to 20 minute wait?
ME: Yeah...
G: Are you sure?
ME: No princess, I'm just here to randomly generate wait times for guests, here's you sign.
(Apparently she had been to SGT because)
Guest: Oh no, your CJ aren't you?
ME: You got it.

If you made it this far without any trouble, congratulations. To any managers that might have gotten ahold of this book, remember, it’s all in clean fun and the guest was given the correct information afterwards.

If you enjoyed reading this book, look for more soon.

If you didn’t enjoy it by any means, go jump off a cliff.

If you have any HYS’s that you would like added to the book, talk to C.J. (Chris L.) Or send me an e-mail (Found on the e-mail list in the break room).

Ok, fun is over...GET BACK TO WORK!

SoarWhoreCoCo

08-21-2005, 04:03 PM

todays Brain Child Party of the day:

Me:How many in you party please?
G1:How many do we have?
G2:8
G3:12
G4:4
Me:Is everyone standing here together? Who is the last in the party?
G12: (Hand waving) I am
Me: (start Counting) Okay there are 1 2 3 4 ..... 15
G9: Can we have the front row
Me: All rows are front rows I can get only 10 in a row so please 10 in row 1 and 5 in row two.
(1.5 minutes of arranging and rearranging)
G8: Can we split up into 6, 6, and 5?
Me: No because you dont have enough people to do that in your party.
G8: But..
Me: HYS do the math lady :p:

floridagirlsyd

08-22-2005, 07:24 PM

TODAY's Great Questions and Quotes from Soarin' at Epcot:

After the Fifth Brazilian tour group in an Hour with every other person asking WHAT IS THIS GAME?
My respone: SKEEBALL ONLY BETTER :p:

Oh my gosh. Okay so I'm so new, both to Coaster and this board, but with the end of Brazilian tour group season, I thought I'd share a little diddy from earlier this summer. As CJ says, grab a beer/soda, chips, popcorn, what have you, bc this one is a long one...

The entire day was a blur, filled with bright orange, lime green and yellow shirts. CM's understand. For those that aren't CM's and haven't had the priveledge of being in the park with a Brazilian tour group, the colors represent different groups, often in packs of more than 60 and they chant and sing and clap and scream in Portuguese. Naturally they all want to be in the front row, even though they have a party of 250 and all want to be on the same train.

The first incident included a woman having a seizure in the gift shop. We had to call an ambulance and evacuate the gift shop of guests, and stop cycling trains to keep guests out of the gift shop. This lasts about 45 minutes. We're back up and running for about 15 minutes and then a CP hits an e-stop for an extremely trivial reason. Meanwhile, I'm at Fastpass Return for both downtimes, fending off nasty guests with my flick cards, explaining why there are people in line, yet they aren't allowed in, etc etc etc.

So the e-stop situation is resolved, we're back up and running and I go back to the PC for a new assignment. Studio C. Fabulous. I'm there for maybe 2 shows and they drop the position, so I return to the PC again. On my way back inside, I'm passing by the load area and there is a Brazilian girl sitting on the hood of the car, kicking, screaming in Portuguese and tugging on the harness of the man who is in the front row (she didnt know this guy, yet was violently pulling on his harness). Four CM's are trying to coax her off the train. I was supposed to be on lunch but this was way more entertaining than anything I'd be seeing in the breakroom, so I stick around to be helpful. A page goes out over the Nextels and before I know it, the Merchandise manager is there, Star Tours manager is there, Fantasmic, Tower of Terror, and Foods manager is there.

The alley is packed with guests, the load platform is packed with guests. I mean quadruple loaded, 5 groups in rows 1 and 2. A man comes up to me and shows me a badge of some sort, and tells me he is certified to exhibit physical force if necessary. A kid I was hassling earlier in Studio B tells me to "taser her ass" and "drop an elbow". Women are calling me over to the fence telling me they speak Spanish and they could probably help, as a woman talking to a younger girl. Pure mayhem. People in the alley have out their video cameras, cell phones, cameras, everything to document this experience. Half are shouting for us to let her ride, the other half to get her the hell out.

Security finally comes and tells her the train at unload is just for her, so we get her out of everyone's sight. We take her through bypass to Unload where she is flailing around, almost throwing herself into the track, thrashing her arms and legs around like crazy. They finally throw her in a wheelchair and restrain her, and take her backstage. OCPD was there, Reedy Creek was there, again, all those managers, coordinators, CM's, the deck out back was a little law enforcement party. It was absolutely insane. Turns out the girl is bipolar and forgot her medicine??

Later that night I wrote on the whiteboard:
"Just for the record, when a guest requests the front row, that does not mean the hood of the car"

By far the stupidest guest trick I've seen in my days.

IndyandMarion

08-23-2005, 01:21 PM

And so the force of the Coaster continues to grow here on the boards.
The followers are ready.
The revolution is at hand.
:twisted:

Thank God I wasn't around for that incident. Still, to an extent, wish I was.

Oh and Syd, 46 days...

tenprincess

08-24-2005, 02:12 AM

Wow, here is a fun HYS I had a few days ago.

Guest: Where is tomorrowland?
Me: Pardon me?
Guest (points to the map): Where is tomorrowland, I'm trying to get there.
Me: Your standing in it.
Guest: No, I want to get to tomorrowland.
Me: You are already here.
Guest: Can you tell me how to get to tomorrowland?
Me: Down the street and to the left. (I sent her to toon town)

floridagirlsyd

08-24-2005, 08:19 PM

Hey now, if you're even going to have the count, at least make it accurate. If tomorrow is the start to when I will have left and come back it will be 56 days. Puh-leeze.

And as the days get closer to my transfer date, I'm not entirely sure that you aren't correct in the count. However, I'll give myself a chance to love it or hate it... hopefully with a clear slate and not something tainted by your predictions. And with that, I'm off to bed.

IndyandMarion

08-25-2005, 03:52 AM

The fourty five day count pertains to the date in which you leave, traitor.

IndyandMarion

08-25-2005, 02:54 PM

I was at Epic (Indiana Jones Stunt Show) today for it's 16th anniversary. There was a guy already sitting at the end of the row I'm going to sit in so I slide all the way down to him "fillin' in all available space"

On my person, I have blue jeans, the Epic shirt, Indiana Jones Dog tags around my neck, an Indiana Jones Epic hat on. I sit down next to him and pull out my PSP and begin watching Epic on the system waiting for the show to start.

The guy has gotten a clear, full view of whatI have on...

Dude: Have you ever seen this before?
Me: Uh, wha?
Dude: Have you seen this show before?
Me *Inhale deeply and simply look at him then at my hat and shirt* Nope, matter of fact, I dunno what the heck I'm doing here or what this is...Here's your sign.

He started laughin when he looked at my hat and shirt then realized what was going on.

whatacutie

09-04-2005, 07:51 PM

Working at Stitch's Great Escape in the Magic Kingdom....

Lady- ma'am is this a ride?
Me- No it's a show
Lady- oh its a show...
Me- yea
Lady- So its not a ride?
Me- No it's a show
Lady- So it doesnt move around alot or spin or drop?
Me- No it's a show...
Lady- Is it scary?
Me- yes theres moments of total darkness and very loud noises...
Lady- would it be okay for my 3 yr old...
Me- no
Lady- (turns around and tells her 3 yr old its "not scary") Then trys to get in the line, when her son is only 30 inches...and the height restriction is 40 inches. Then has the nerve to yell at me cuz her kid cant sit on her lap...
Lady- So it is a ride...

I had to get someone else to finish talking to her...

tenprincess

09-04-2005, 10:21 PM

Down with Stitch. Or they just need to turn it into a roller coaster. My favorite is when guests ask you at the end of the show, "so what does this ride do." Don't get me started on fast pass.

PirateJohn

09-04-2005, 11:59 PM

tenprincess

09-05-2005, 01:19 AM

We have seats with shoulder restraint system, and you have to be tall enough to fit in them to be able to see the show. Plus when you create a height requirement, you can weed out the amount of children who come in that will be frightened by the show thus reducing the amount of scared children who are being escorted out.

IndyandMarion

09-05-2005, 05:48 AM

lady ulrike

09-06-2005, 08:41 AM

You know, when I first heard about the Stitch ride, I was pratically giddy as a school boy (If I may barrow a line from the Last Crusade). When I finally went into it for Cast previews I was like..."What...the **** just happened"

I understand is the "prequel" to the first movie but just some of the mistakes in the story line just erked me. But being a Stitch fa...extreme Stitch fan, I suppose thats the reason for me being like that.

Its ironic in a way I suppose however. They build the ride geared toward children then jack the height requirement up three times to steer children away.

Still, I like Stitch over Alien Encounter, except the part with S.I.R. (I mean cummon, Tim Currey? Who else could have played that robot with the exception of Michael Ironside or Jeremy Irons)

Yeah, my fiancee is a huge Stitch fan too and we were very excited and then bery disappointed about it. We both preferred Alien Encounter though, we liked it's dark humor as opposed to Stitch's childish humor. One of our favorite lines that we still randomly quote is "If you don't move, it probably won't eat you"
I didn't realize that Tim Curry was the voice of S.I.R. and I usually spot him quickly too, darn now I can't go back on it and try and listen for it.

tenprincess

09-06-2005, 11:16 PM

Even then it's not a good show for children, because most of them are scared by it. Even then, the children who are most excited for it are too small to get into the show. I think if they were going to create an attraction titled Stitch's Great Escape it should have been a roller coaster, or a thrill ride. Either way, alien encounter was a much better use of that space, and lacked the smell of chili dogs. *shudders*

FormerWDI

09-08-2005, 03:04 PM

Either way, alien encounter was a much better use of that space, and lacked the smell of chili dogs. *shudders*

I have to completely agree....

And a sidenote: How does Stitch get a Chili dog????? There's no food or drink allowed in the attraction.

tenprincess

09-09-2005, 01:43 AM

I have to completely agree....

And a sidenote: How does Stitch get a Chili dog????? There's no food or drink allowed in the attraction.

Supposedly someone sneeks the chilidog in. However what is even more interesting is that we don't sell chili dogs. Imagineering loophole.

Stduck

09-09-2005, 08:24 AM

Supposedly someone sneeks the chilidog in. However what is even more interesting is that we don't sell chili dogs. Imagineering loophole.

Disneyland has Chilli Dogs maybe someone brought one from California. Yeah rght.

Angelrose

09-10-2005, 06:31 PM

Hello, I'm not a CM but I do have a story to tell. One day we were waiting in line at the turnstiles very early. I like to get there early so I can harass Delores the greater. The poor lady hides every time she sees me. LOL But that's another story. We watched as the lines filled up with people. A woman comes over to me and asks if her son could see my pin lanyard. So, of course, I show him all my pins. They are not traders, just Limited Editions and ones that have special meaning for me. Well the lady tells her son that he can have any of my pins that he wants. I say no he can't. She argues that she read that I have to trade. But I'm NOT a cast member. If I was a cast memeber, WHY would I be waiting line to get in?? HYS I told her that I do have traders for kids and showed them a pocket full of kid traders. Oh he doesn't want THEM. LOL

tenprincess

09-12-2005, 02:07 AM

She may have thought that you were a park greeter. But then again, it would involve the skills of deduction to determine weather or not you were an employee or a guest.

SoarWhoreCoCo

09-13-2005, 03:25 PM

She may have thought that you were a park greeter. But then again, it would involve the skills of deduction to determine weather or not you were an employee or a guest.

My HYS for today is very similar to this but does not involve Disney at all.

Me and my partner are at Publix (grocery store). Neither one of us is in costume, but dressed in shorts and polos. He goes one way and I am looking down another ailse. I have a bad habot pf straightening thing without thinking due to disney store brainwashing.

A lady comes up to me and ask the ultimate question:
Her: Do you work here?
Me: No.
Her: (obviously not listening) Do you all cary XXXX?
Me: I dont know I dont work here.
Her: (Still oblivious) WHat about XXXXX?
Me: I STILL have no idea I don't work here I AM SHOPPING! Ask someone who works here!
Her: Well why did you tell me you worked here?
Me: (Now Livid) I didn't..If you would turn off your mouth and turn on your ears you would have heard me two minutes ago!
Her: How rude! (start going down the ailse, my other half coming up the aisle)
Him: Jim where is the can veggie aisle?
Me: Two more over!
Her: (Storming back to me) I AM REPORTING YOU TO YOUR MANAGER, YOU SAID YOU DIDNT WORK HERE AND YOU HELPED HIM! WHAT IS YOUR NAME< AND YOUR MANAGERS NAME!!!
Me: My name is Jim, my manager doesnt work here he works at my job, where I work, which isnt in this grocery store...I DONT WORK HERE!
Her: Well you won't work here when Im done talking to your manager!
Me: (Resisting the urge to whip items at her from the shelves) Thank you I hated working here anyway! HYS

Angelrose

09-14-2005, 06:17 PM

Sorry, but that just has me giggling. I can just see that happening.

Ho-say

09-14-2005, 07:38 PM

Her: Well why did you tell me you worked here?
Me: (Now Livid) I didn't..If you would turn off your mouth and turn on your ears you would have heard me two minutes ago!

LMAO!! Love it......... :D:

Of course, you do realize that karma is somehow going to bite you in the a$$ and it'll turn out she's a FL AP holder and you'll be seeing her as a guest at your real job location any day now ;)

NikkiGrrl

09-15-2005, 07:33 AM

this is too funny. you guys rock...

i don't work at Disney but i do work with a current but soon not to be affiliate....McDonald's, Drive Thru specifically.

we've gotten a LOT of HYS' for example:

Customer: Is the Chicken McGrill breaded?
Me: Um....no....it's...grilled. (yes i know some grilled chickens are breaded but this guy wanted a crispy chicken).

Customer (after ordering two big macs and paid for them): "Hey how much was that?"
Me: -price said here-
Customer: "Nah, that's too much man where's your manager."
Manager: "What's the problem sir?"
Customer: "Man how much are your Big Mac's?"
Manager: -price said here-
Customer: "what? They're not 99 cent?" (yes cent, not cents)
Manager: "No sir."
Customer: "They're 99 cent in Gastonia!" (i work in Charlotte, NC. a bit....far from Gastonia)

Customer: "Hey what are those new chicken sandwhiches?"
Me: -speil-
Customer: "do you have any of those coupons?"
Me: "No sir I don't have coupons to hand out."
Customer: "..."
Customer: "Can Iget them without the coupons?"
Me (sighing and wishing i could say): "No sir. That's why we have them as our numbers 5, 6 and 7 so that ONLY the people WITH the coupons can purchase them" :rolleyes:

One from last night:
Our credit card reader wasn't working. We had signs on the two order taking posts that said so. This girl ordered, pulled up tot he window looked me square in the eye and said "do you take these?" holding up the card. wish i could have said: "Yes that's why we had signs that said we don't take them so we can pull a late April's Fools on everyone."

and the best one i ever got:

Customer (who had JUST come through drive thru): "Do you sell Big Mac's here?" :eek:

BRWombat

09-15-2005, 01:03 PM

Ah... brings back memories of my college days, when I worked at Church's Chicken. We always had customers ordering X-piece "buckets" of chicken (um, no, folks, its that other chicken place that has the buckets) or McNuggets (yet another chain entirely).

It did set up one of the better pranks pulled by one supervisor when the managers were away. He drove up the road to a KFC and talked them into trading an (empty) large bucket for one of our large boxes. No telling what they did with theirs, but the supervisor came back (still in his Church's uniform) and walked in through the lobby with the KFC bucket, yelling over the heads of the customers, "Time for a break, guys! Our supper's here!"

IndyandMarion

09-15-2005, 01:26 PM

Last time, it only attacked the guests...
Now, no one is safe.

Guests are normally the one's who ask the stupid questions.
But when Cast Members fall victim to the sign, it's a whole new battle.

Guests look over their shoulder...
Cast Members fear it...

Either way, this time...no one is safe

Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga II: Attack of the Signs
October 2005

Notatourist

09-15-2005, 03:59 PM

BUT BUT BUT...

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo!!!!!!

Sorry, couldn't resist...how long is it till October?

Tyffni

09-15-2005, 04:01 PM

LMAO!! Love it......... :D:

Of course, you do realize that karma is somehow going to bite you in the a$$ and it'll turn out she's a FL AP holder and you'll be seeing her as a guest at your real job location any day now ;)

True karma would be if you happen to find her at work and you do something similar back to her.

IndyandMarion

09-15-2005, 04:34 PM

Sneak Preview:

CM: Do they serve Chinese at the China Pavillion?
CM 2: Nope. They started serving Mexican food a month back.

...Sadly, this came from my girlfriend who also works at Coaster...

Notatourist

09-15-2005, 05:40 PM

Snipped for your protection
Me: My name is Jim, my manager doesnt work here he works at my job, where I work, which isnt in this grocery store...I DONT WORK HERE!
Her: Well you won't work here when Im done talking to your manager!
Me: (Resisting the urge to whip items at her from the shelves) Thank you I hated working here anyway! HYS

The karma point here is that maybe her last name is Iger....

PrivateGuide

09-19-2005, 05:22 PM

My HYS for today is very similar to this but does not involve Disney at all.

Me and my partner are at Publix (grocery store). Neither one of us is in costume, but dressed in shorts and polos. He goes one way and I am looking down another ailse. I have a bad habot pf straightening thing without thinking due to disney store brainwashing.

You know, people do this to me all the time. What kills me is I often have a small child with me. Yes, they let me push around my kid in a cart while I work... Duh.

I however never connected this with my years in retail/service. I wonder how often I straighten without thinking about it.

Bex

09-20-2005, 08:00 AM

Hi, im not a CM, but a frequent visitor to WDW! I wont stay long as its a forum for you cast members. But this place is SO funny. I have a little story about stupid guests...

We went to WDW last xmas and unfortunately I had dislocated my knee 5 weeks beforehand and only came out of plaster 2 days before we flew, so I had to have one of those electric chair things as i couldnt bend my leg to have a normal one.

I found some guests to be so rude, the way they they kept cutting infront of me, meaning i had to stop suddenly. It annoyed me most after parades!! So fed up I was, i thought 'right - i aint stopping for noone, if u try and cut me up, you get your ankles bashed by the cart!'

Oh how I had fun.... get out of my way or die!!!!

JRawkSteady

09-20-2005, 09:36 AM

Hey! First time poster here...

I used to work down at what used to be Area 4 attractions in the studios, and I have a few for you guys

- At Indy Epic a guest approached me and asked "Is this a ride?" :rolleyes: My answer was: "Nope, this is a stunt show."
Guest: "But is it a ride?"
Me: "The seats do not move, no."
Guest: "So, what kind of ride is this?"
Me: "Ma'am, it's not a ride...It's a show."
Guest: (seemingly getting it, finally) "Ohhh!!!" She pauses for a moment "Does it go upside down?"
Me: (finally fed up) "Yes, the show does go upside down."
Guest: "This is Disney! They should have more rides for children!" (storms off)

-At Star Tours, right before boarding (with a 70 min. standby line)
Guest: "Will this make me sick?"
Me: "Well, are you prone to motion sickness?"
Guest: "A little."
Me: "Then it is a possibility."
Guest: "If I throw up, do I have to clean it up?"
Me: "It's policy on Endor, you know."
Guest: "Wait...what ride is this?"
Me: "Star Tours..."
Guest: "S**t, I thought this was Space Mountain!"
Then he just walked away with his family! You would at least think they would ride after waiting in the standby line!! Hope he found Space Mountain okay in the Studios!

CerasiJ

09-21-2005, 01:56 PM

Also a first time poster... and this is not exactly mine, but my Mom used to be a reservationist for WDW. On one of those "take your kid to work" days, she took me and I got to listen in to her calls on a headset set on mute.

This guy called her up and started demanding to know why his travel agent hadn't booked him in the Tower of Terror Hotel. It went something like this...

Mom: Thank you for calling Walt Disney World reservations, this is Lyris, how may I help you? (Lyris was her code name)
Guy: Yeah, hi, ummm, listen, I have no idea why my TA didn't book me in this hotel, but I'd like to make a reservation at the 'Tower of Terror'
Me: (since I am on mute and he can't hear me) Huh?
Mom: I... beg your pardon? You want to stay where?
Guy: THE TOWER OF TERROR, ARE YOU DEAF??
Mom: Sir, it's a ride, it's an attraction at one of the parks, it's not really a hotel...
Guy: THE SIGN SAYS IT'S A HOTEL, WHY WON'T YOU PEOPLE BOOK ME THERE?? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IT'S MY VACATION... (Etc, etc, etc...)

After about 15 minutes of ranting and raving and demanding my mom's boss to get on the phone, she says...

Mom: Fine, I will connect you to the Tower hotel, right now, please hold.

*Mom looks at me, winks, and promptly hits the 'Disconnect' button*

And that's my stupid guest trick! :D:

IndyandMarion

09-22-2005, 06:32 AM

That was great. Oh if we all had a disconnect button for all of those stupid questions...

Unfortunately, the second book has been pushed back. I came down with a SEVERE case of food poisoning over the week and I haven't had a chance to do one thing with the book. Don't worry. I'll still have it out in October, just don't know when.