Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga

[tenprincess]

Unfortunately, the second book has been pushed back. I came down with a SEVERE case of food poisoning over the week and I haven't had a chance to do one thing with the book.

I think that qualifies as way too much information. But do feel better.

[NikkiGrrl]

just had some more fun the other day. have to share these. again i work at McDonald's and not WDW but...

We have signs by our order takers saying that we are only accepting cash in drive-thru and credit and debit to come inside (due to erm technical difficulties).
Well this woman pulled up and proceeded to argue with me.

Me (seeing a credit/debit/whatever card): Sorry Ma'am we're not taking cards.
Her: What do you mean?
Me: We're not taking cards Ma'am, we put up two signs to let everyone know.
Her: There aren't any signs out there!!!
-Pause-
Me: Ma'am, there are two signs out there. I know because I put them out there yesterday and as I drove into work today I saw them.

after that i had some people proceed to argue with met hat the signs needed to be moved somewhere sooner than the speakers. The only place we could would be along the windows leading to drive thru. and NO ONE looks at the windows. :rolleyes:

The second fun lady had to deal with ice cream cones. went something like this:
Her: I want an ice cream cone and a coke.
Me: Sorry Ma'am. we can do a plain sundae, ice cream in a cup but we can't do an ice cream cone.
Her: Why? is the machine broken?
Me (blink): No ma'am. We don't have any cie cream cones for the ice cream cones but we CAN do a plain sundae for you.
Her: So can you put in a cup?
Me (sigh): Ma'am that's what I just said we could do (twice). We can do a plain sundae, ICE CREAM IN A CUP.
Her: Oh!! Ok, I'll take one of those.
Me: -head bangs against the wall-

[CerasiJ]

Wow, stupid people at their finest. Since we moved a bit off topic, I'd like a share a few of my dumb-people adventures with you. I live in Alaska, a loonngg way from any Disney park! (Well, I guess the closest Disney park would be the one in Tokyo!) Anyway. I live Alaska's biggest city and we get a lot of tourists in the summer time. I work in a highrise downtown with a Starbucks coffee in our lobby, (you can't even escape Starbucks in Alaska... sorry folks!)

Well, a lot of times in the late afternoon many people in my office will need a coffee fix, so we'll all slip down to the lobby and 9 times out 10, run into a stupid tourist or two. My favorite was the guy standing in line behind me who asked the barista if they accepted American currency. She looked him right in the eye and said, "No, I'm sorry, we only accept Alaskan Dollars." (Alaska is part of the U.S., has been since 1959 and we use American currency, just FYI for everyone...) Well, he dug around in his wallet and, seeing no Alaskan Dollars, left Starbucks and stormed across the lobby to the bank. Can you imagine the teller's reaction? Here's your sign...


You know when you move a new city/state and everyone new you meet has to ask you "What brought you to [insert city/state here]?" Well, I hate that question. I move around a lot, so I should be used to it by now, but it never fails to annoy me. So when I moved to Alaska, many of my new co-workers asked, "What brought you to Alaska?" One question many pushed me over the edge. The next time I was asked "What brought you to Alaska?" I finally replied, "A Ford F-350." The look on his face was priceless! Here's your sign...


Moving back on topic a wee bit, in a earlier post I mentioned "take your kid to work day" when my Mom worked for the Walt Disney Travel Co. That same evening I was listening in on her headsets she had a caller call up, frantic, to ask how much money was remaining on his bill. (He paid half over the phone and would pay the rest when he arrived in Florida) She brought up his account and told him the amount. Still frantic, he gave her his credit card number to pay off his debt free and clear. As she was finishing the transaction, he explained that the night before he dreamed Mickey Mouse chased after him with a chainsaw because he didn't pay the rest of his bill.

:D:

[Seussgirl]

Me running the CaroSeussel ride at Islands of Adventure.....
Guest: Oooh you have a cowfish and an elephant bird. Where is the Heffalump??
Me: We don't have one here, that's Disney.
Guest: (leaning over asking his kid) Isn't there suppose to be a Heffalump?
Kid: No Dad, that's Disney :rolleyes:

[joanna71985]

When I was in Disney, I worked in every land but Toontown. This makes for interesting questions.

1) This was when I was working Glow for Spectro.
Q- Can I pay with a credit card?
(Now come on, you're not the first guest here. Can't you see I'm paying out of an apron?)

2) My home land was Fantasyland. My favorite question came at Fantasy Faire (the PhilharMagic shop).
Q- Where is It's a Small World?
(Now for those who don't know, to get to IASW from Fantasy Faire you LITERALLY have to turn to your right to see the BIG COLORFUL BANNERS. Even then you can't miss it. It's right in front of you)

3) This isn't mine, but it's from my friends who were greeters for Cinderellabration.
Q- where is the show?
(now this is asked right down in front- where all the people are waiting in FRONT of the castle- and there are SIGNS saying Cinderellabration on them.)

4) I always got the question "Do you work here?". "No, I just love to wear the hideous green shorts for fun, and they let me stand on a stool picking the plush off the floor that people put here".

and 5) This isn't something that was said, but still. It's after 9pm (or whatever time for the parades) and the ropes are up and there are gigantic 100-ton floats going by. and people STILL feel the need to go across the street for whatever reason (I really don't listen to their reasons when I ask them to get back under the rope- NOW). One time during Spectro a guest tried to duck under the rope. While I'm trying to get them back under the rope, on the other side of the street a guest in an ECV tried to cross the street! Luckily the CM on the other side got there and I almost had a heart attack! :eek: What do people think sometimes?

[Tyffni]

My husband FINALLY got to do a "Here's Your Sign." He was filling up his tires when the gas station attendant walked back and asked "Filling 'em up?" He said, "Nope, letting all the air out." The dumb look she gave him was priceless!

[IndyandMarion]

The day draws closer...

Mickey's Not So Scary Holloween Party (Or Mickey's Holloween Party as the billboards and advertisements are calling it this year it seems) continues tonight...

...Thank God.

Do you all realize exactly how great this will be for the book tonight? Trick or treat? Screw the tricks and to heck with the candy! The treats Im waiting for will simply be all of the goofy, idiotic and down right "What the hell did you just ask" questions that I'll hear tonight.

If your going tonight, be on the look out for me. I'll be going full Indiana gear tonight (What else eh?) and I'll be accompanied by Belle this evening.

On October 7th...the attack begins.

[tenprincess]

If you see a 'Kristin' in tomorrowland, say hi. I'm going to need some sane people.

[IndyandMarion]

Will do. Considering that, unless something has changed, everyone going to the park will be herded over to Tomorrowland for an hour like sheep as they transform the park (Busch Gardens, take notes. I don't go to their holloween party but all of their crap was cluttering the pathways, really made it frustrating when trying to get to God. I mean, Shiekra. What? You didn't hear that Shiekra is God in roller coaster form?), shouldn't be that hard to find you.

Look for cries to be heard from Buzz and at the Arcade over there with Air Hockey. You'll see myself defeating Belle hands down in both situation.

Just to help in the search a little, which attraction will you be at?

[elmo2wdw]

As a brand new non-CM member of this forum I am very amused by the "Stupid Guest Tricks" that you all deal with every day. As a regular WDW guest, I have witnessed many HYS encounters both involving and not involving CM's. Fortunately, I have not participated in one of those encounters directly. I completely feel for you all. Dealing with absolutely moronic guests is something that I would hate to do every day. I do want to say thank you to all CM's for going out of your way to assist park guests. And after reading some of the hilarious HYS, I am going to collect my own and contribute as a park guest. My 10th trip is coming up in November and hopefully I will have something when I return. Keep up the good work!!

[SmartGuest]

So when I moved to Alaska, many of my new co-workers asked, "What brought you to Alaska?" One question many pushed me over the edge. The next time I was asked "What brought you to Alaska?" I finally replied, "A Ford F-350." The look on his face was priceless! Here's your sign...
Or maybe he was just trying to be friendly?? Sorry, no sign for him... :cool:

[SmartGuest]

Or maybe he was just trying to be friendly?? Sorry, no sign for him... :cool:P.S. But I did get a kick out of the F-350 line! :p:

[CerasiJ]

Or maybe he was just trying to be friendly?? Sorry, no sign for him... :cool:Oh, I know he was just being friendly, but when I was asked the question more than 10 times in one day, it starts to make ya nuts... kind of like people asking you a million times, "Do you work here???" Eventually, you just get tired of answering. :D:

P.S. But I did get a kick out of the F-350 line! :p:Thanks! :D: I was telling the truth with that answer, LOL!

[sandravb79]

Hello all!

I am not a CM, not an AP, just a Disney-lover. I found out about these boards a couple of days ago, and just love them!

On October 27, I will visit Disneyland again (coming from Belgium, that's quite an exciting experience!)
I am quite sure I will see appear my questions on here... Why?
Although I do have an American accent (Texan, actually), I am not a native English speaker, and when I ask something, I never understand the answer, because Californians talk too fast.
So, Californian CMs, if during October 27 - November 1 you meet a tall young woman, with Minnie Mouse ears on red curls, that will be me, please, talk SLOWLY! ;)

[MagliteL13]

While working at the Jungle Cruise I get several questions to the HYS type.

First one, also the most common:
Guest: Can you tell me where this drops you off?
(The unload dock is precisely twenty feet from the entrance)
CM: Universal Studios.

Two, also along the same lines:
Guest: Is this the boat to Animal Kingdom(sometimes Polynesian).
CM: Yes.

Three(at load):
Guest: Is this the shark ride?
CM: Yep, watch out for the shark. He pops up on the left.

Four(I know, it's been done):
Guest: What time is the 3 o'clock parade?
CM: Two sixty.

Five(About the Temple in the Mekong):
Guest: How long ago did you put this in here?
CM: About fifteen minutes ago, we were bored on break.

Six(at greeter, standing under the JUNGLE CRUISE Sign):
Guest: Is this Pirates of the Caribbean?
CM: Yup. Watch out for Jack Sparrow.

Seven:
Guest: What exactly is the Jungle Cruise?
CM: A futuristic rollercoaster ride in the dark. Oh, you have to be this tall to ride.

Eight(At the Haunted Mansion):
Guest: Is this scary?
CM: It's a haunted mansion.

Nine(At Mansion):
Guest: Do you work here?
CM(in wool maid dress, with nametag): No. I dress like this for fun and stand around in 103 degree weather.

Ten(at Mansion):
Guest: Is this the Haunted Mansion?
CM(In maid dress, outside tall house, with a Mansion sign above her): No. This is Splash Mountain, Mansion is around the river.

Eleven:
Guest: Can I ask you a question?
CM: No.

(in the same situation)
Guest: Do you know where the restroom is?
CM: Yes. Yes I do.
Guest: Can you tell me?
CM: Yes. Yes I can.
Guest: Well?
CM: Oh, you want me to tell you?
Guest: YES!
CM: Oh, you should have said so.

And now I'm done.

[Natural Selection Fan]

I've gathered a few over the years and alas, I can claim no credit for any of them. Sure as hell they would come back to haunt me if I ever used them.
But here we go:

Monorail
"Is this the submarine ride?"
- "Yes, but the water is a little low right now."
"Does this come back here?"
- "No. We drop off at LAX and you're on your own from there."
"What happens if there's an earthquake while we're onboard?"
- "Put your head between your legs and kiss your butt goodbye."


FL/Classics:
"Is this ok for kids?"
- "The vertical loop at the end may be a little bit much."
"What kind of ride is this?" (Toad)
- "It's a three min. trip to hell."
"What happened to the Small World Fastpass?"
- "We decided to make the ride even more annoying."
"How can you stand that song playing all day?"
- "Tick, toc. Tick, toc. Tick, toc."

Space:
"Where is the Fastpass for this?"
- "Next to the Teacups."
- "It's under that great big sign over there that says Fastpass."
"What line is this for?"
- "Ladie's room."
"What are all those tables for?"
- "Pizza Port Triage."

Mansion:
"Can we go again?"
- "Sure! Go outside and you can go as many times as you like."
"How many miles do you walk every day down here?"
- "Until we finally break out of the ankle chains."

[Joey_lazzatti]

Just wanting to know when we can expect a new volume Indy

[Mansion Girl]

I LOVE Bill Engvall!
And I just couldn't resest when this was posted.

At The Enchanted Tiki Room
Guest: "Is this a restraunt?" after they just looked at the sign
Me: "Why yes sir, but right now it's close. We do have a Tiki bird show going every ten minutes though." Here's Your SIGN!
But you have to hear the rest!
Guest: "No, I'll past. Where's the closest place to get a drink?"
Me: Right over there *points to where it is, just a few feet away* they have pop and floats and water...."
Guest: "No no no.. I mean a B..e..e..r." he draws it out as if I'm a two year old."
Me: :D: "Well sir, yah gonna have tah take the monorail to EPCOT, or just take it back to yah hotel."
Guest: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!?!
Me: "This is a child friendly park sir."
Guest: "So?!"
Gon to the pre-show rings
Me: "Sorry sir, but I have tah go start the show."
Guest: "Not untill you tell me where to get a drink you're not!"
Me: "Ok, ok, go straight down that walk way, cross our bridge, take a right, go down to the end of Main Street, and walk into the last building behind the train to your right. They serve wine,beer, and mix drinks." HERE'S YOUR SIGN!
*Little did he know when he was yellin' at me that I sent him to Guest Relations. And it was 5mins till my bump off*

[IndyandMarion]

Sorry for my rather lack of updates...

Ok, so a two month absence. I'm still here, but I've been busy with other things and HYSs are hard to come by now (The world is on to me now).

I dunno when we'll see an update from me but it seems the others here on the site are covering for me until I can get an update.

[Fury]

It is not at all ludicrous to expect Disney CM's to treat guests in a respectable manner. If you must vent your frustrations, do so behind the scenes. IndyandMarion seems to make it a point to ridicule and mock the guests at every turn. THAT is what I find uncalled for. As a Disney shareholder, I'm disgusted to read the things he posted and I'm quite sure his bosses would not think highly of his statements, either.

Does anyone not understand that this is offstage? This online spot allows us to keep animinity if we want it and it is very great to see what other cast members go through and see that the same stupid things happen all over the place. You know Disneylover you are probably one of those passholders who thinks that just because they paid their 300 dollars at the gate for a year of DISNEY MAGIC that you can ruin it for the little princesses and space rangers that are standing behind them. I honestly saw someone like you very vocally say things about Tinkerbell's flight that made the 8 year old behind them start crying. Now we would get fired for something like that but you passholders we have to hold our tounge and allow you to act however you want you want to gripe at us for having a forum to talk to each other. Would you be just as mad if all of us got together for a mixer party and said the same things. THERE WAS A WARNING OUTSIDE THE ATTRACTION THAT TOLD YOU WHAT IT WAS! JUST LIKE HERE! GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON!

[Fury]

A great one happened to me on Thanksgiving Day. I was walking out from the tunnel to the FedEx lounge for our holiday party and I am carring a huge serving dish in both of my hands. Granted yes I was in costume but then again being a CP on Thanksgiving I was lucky to be coming in at 10 in the morning. Anyway as I walkout from the back way of the Timekeeper (Where I had forgotten that we would have open and I thought was where we were going to have the party HERE'S MY SIGN) I come out near Buzz fastpass distrobution. A woman walking right past the cast member who is scheduled at Buzz Distro comes up to me and goes

"CAN YOU HELP ME WITH MY FAST PASS IT ISNT WORKING RIGHT!"
"Yes ma'am I can"
I turn the other cast member
"She needs help and since this is your position I will let you help her."

Or another great one and I know that it has been posted over and over but oh well

At stitch's great mistake inside the final chamber.

Guest: Does this spin (reasonable question)
Me: No
Guest: You sure? (UGH)
Me: Yes
Guest: Ok so what does it do at the end? Drop or something.
Me: Absolutly not
Guest: I am a passholder so you can tell me the truth.
Me: As much as I want it to in the five months I have worked here none of the seats have moved an inch from this position.
Guest: But what does it do.
At this point the show starts so the guy finds his seat.
Me not to anyone in particular: You got me this flips upside down 18 times and then fills up with water until I can't hold my breath any longer and push the red button. I have had five months of practice though SO HOW LONG CAN YOU HOLD YOU BREATH??!!!!!

[CerasiJ]

Me not to anyone in particular: You got me this flips upside down 18 times and then fills up with water until I can't hold my breath any longer and push the red button. I have had five months of practice though SO HOW LONG CAN YOU HOLD YOU BREATH??!!!!!

I would give you fifty bucks you actually had said that, that's priceless!!!! :D:

[Meezers]

Just found this site and this thread.

Although not a CM I do work in a customer service business (and had to go to Disney University for CS training...and this is a Police Department...and I work 9-1-1)...

Just wanted to say...page 1-6 have kept me awake tonight!

Zazu is my hero.

The person named Disney-Lover on pages 1-6 is what we call Signal 24...demented person!

[SoarWhoreCoCo]

THERE WAS A WARNING OUTSIDE THE ATTRACTION THAT TOLD YOU WHAT IT WAS JUST LIKE HERE! GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON!Kudos Kudos Kudos... I'm glad you said that.

To the STOCKHOLDER: I dont give a d@mn if you are a shareholder or not, this is our space and if you dont like it why come in. Its obvious that if you are offended then you have committed one of these offenses mentioned and should probably sell your stock because what we say backstage about people like you would make this site look tame

PS: I miss you indy and marion

[IndyandMarion]

Don't adjust your monitors people. It's really me. I'm still alive, relax.

Lot of things have been going on at Coaster which have prevented me from getting on here much. Aside from me being a trainer there, yeah, doesn't give me much time to post here.

Top that with the fact that the entire world is onto me now and avoids me like the plague when it comes to the stupid questions...I HAVE NOTHING!

But it seems you guys have been continuing the legacy quite nicely during my leave of absence so, thanks guys.

[KerryLeanne]

Decided I would revive and add to the HYS thread. I worked on Main Street this past summer for the international college program and got my fair share of stupid guests.

While at East Train Cart --
Guest: Can you sew my son's name on his Mickey ears here?
Me: No, ma'am, I don't have a sewing machine here on my cart, but you can take it over to the Chapeau across the street and they will do it for you there.
Guest: Ok, his name is Eric, spelled with a "C"...
Me: :banghead:

Guest: (holding a squeeze breeze) How much is this?
Me: $16.
Guest: That's outrageous! This is a fan! You can get this at Wal-Mart for $2!
Me: Yes, but this one is a *magical* fan.

Guest: Where is Main Street?
Me: Here ma'am, I'll take you there. (stepping off the curb onto the street) Now you're on Main Street.
(her husband was thrilled with my answer)

Guest: Where is the train to MGM?
Me: (blank look) Excuse me? Do you mean the bus?
Guest: No, the train.
Me: Um, there is no train to MGM, sir. You have to take the monorail back to the TTC and then take the bus to MGM.
Guest: No, that's not right, I took the train to MGM last time I was here. Isn't that the train to MGM? (pointing to the Main Street Train Station)
Me: No, sir, that train is just for the Magic Kingdom, and it makes stops in Frontierland and Mickey's Toontown Fair.
Guest: I'm sure that's the train to MGM. Come on, kids.

I wonder if he ever made it to MGM that day.

[leftcoaster]

Question for R'R Coaster CMs.

If a guest bypasses the pre-show, are they escorted out of the attraction/ride? Someone on another message board claims that "all he did" was to bypass the preshow. I suspect he is not telling the whole truth, but I don't want to outright accuse him. Right now, the board is down, so I can't post his "version" verbatium.

[IndyandMarion]

What message board?

Generally we are not supposed to kick them out (per the managers) but we as CMs believe it to be downright rude when they do such a thing considering as much that there are signs on the door that say "Doors will open automatically"

Not to mention the doors are closed to start with for a reason.

If I ever catch them though, I simply have them go back to the preshow and back through the doors and finish it.

I actually had a group of like five guys who jumped it once.
"Can I help you"
"Uh..um, no."
"Guys, go back."
"But we've seen it nine times today."
"Really, wow. I see it countless times every three minutes every day" (With a fake smile) "Now back inside"
*They walk back and think they are out of my sight range* (They were standing next to the exit doors)
"I asked you to go back inside"
*Nothing*
"GUYS! Back inside or I will escort you out of this attraction!"
They went inside.

[IndyandMarion]

I actually found the topic. No surprise it was found on the idiotic WDWmagic site. In the words of Foamy the Squirrel: Don't even get me started on that S*** ***hole! (Not calling you guys that).

No one on there could get anything right about that topic. Look bottom line:
One person does it, then another, then another and soon the entire damn show is jumping. Thus it will cause us to drop the amount of people we let in which in turn causes the wait time to sky rocket. (Trust me, nothing worse than seeing a walk on go to an hour wait in five minutes because of groups of 60 instead of 80. I have seen it done plenty of times). But considering the IQ level on that site makes a goldfish look like a damn harvard grad, Im not surprised they stumbled their way through that topic.

If you'll excuse me, I need to go stand next to that goldfish in order to replenish the IQ points I lost by looking at that post.

[Zazu]

Guest: Where is the train to MGM?
Me: (blank look) Excuse me? Do you mean the bus?
Guest: No, the train.
Me: Um, there is no train to MGM, sir. You have to take the monorail back to the TTC and then take the bus to MGM.
Guest: No, that's not right, I took the train to MGM last time I was here. Isn't that the train to MGM? (pointing to the Main Street Train Station)
Me: No, sir, that train is just for the Magic Kingdom, and it makes stops in Frontierland and Mickey's Toontown Fair.
Guest: I'm sure that's the train to MGM. Come on, kids.

I wonder if he ever made it to MGM that day.I wonder if that was the family that rode my train in circles for nearly two hours before one of them asked how much longer before the train got to the Studios.

"This train doesn't go to the Disney-MGM Studios. You have to take the monorail and a bus to get there."

"Not Disney Studios, how long til we get to Universal Studios?"

"Oh, that's a very long trip. You should get off here and buy a ticket on an overnight train with sleeping cars."

Yes, I suppose I am evil, but at least it got them off my train!

[IdiotsAreEverywhere]

I actually found the topic. No surprise it was found on the idiotic WDWmagic site. In the words of Foamy the Squirrel: Don't even get me started on that S*** ***hole! (Not calling you guys that).

No one on there could get anything right about that topic. Look bottom line:
One person does it, then another, then another and soon the entire damn show is jumping. Thus it will cause us to drop the amount of people we let in which in turn causes the wait time to sky rocket. (Trust me, nothing worse than seeing a walk on go to an hour wait in five minutes because of groups of 60 instead of 80. I have seen it done plenty of times). But considering the IQ level on that site makes a goldfish look like a damn harvard grad, Im not surprised they stumbled their way through that topic.

If you'll excuse me, I need to go stand next to that goldfish in order to replenish the IQ points I lost by looking at that post.

Ohh those boards are brutal. Full of idiotic soccer moms who complain to City Hall on a dime if a cast member doesn't say have a nice day, or they didn't bend down and kiss their ass, whichever.

Plus, when someone asks a question, all the other idiots on the board will be like, ask a cast member! Now I understand some questions but why the hell can't some guests figure stuff out for themselves? What was the Disneyland site created for? One time, this idiot had a feud and complained that Disneyland made a huge mistake when they closed the park 2 hours early due to weather. :eek: This person was beyond help.

Another thing I cannot stand are the morons who wonder if the summer holidays will be busy.
Typical dumbass question: I'm planning on going with my family on the 4th of July (or New Years, both equally stupid) to Disneyland and was wondering if it will be busy?
Me: Nope, everything is walk-on, have a great time. :twisted:

Haha, one loser actually posted on one board contemplating whether to go to Disneyland because of Stupid Guest Tricks. :twisted:

Some guests are just as stupid out of the park as they are in it. Atleast when they're on the internet they're only making complete idiots of themselves on the forums and not at the park. :D:

[leftcoaster]

Now now...

Idiots are everywhere. If you think wdwmagic is bad, have you ever seen disboards or micechat or any other "cliky" board ? Jeez, don't ask the wrong question there, or don't say anything anti disney or you'll actually get banned. WTF is that ? The people from those boards are the ones you have to worry about.

[sandravb79]

Now now....

Idiots are everywhere. If you think wdwmagic is bad, have you ever seen disboards or micechat or any other "cliky" board? Jeez, don't ask the wrong question there, or don't say anything anti disney or you'll actually get banned. WTF is that? The people from those boards are the ones you have to worry about.I'm also on DisBoards (Disneyland Paris one) and Mousepad... oops.... :twisted:

[IdiotsAreEverywhere]

Now now....

Idiots are everywhere. If you think wdwmagic is bad, have you ever seen disboards or micechat or any other "cliky" board? Jeez, don't ask the wrong question there, or don't say anything anti disney or you'll actually get banned. WTF is that? The people from those boards are the ones you have to worry about.I don't visit WDWmagic hardly. I usually visit Mouseinfo and that place is a dictator board. If you say one negative thing about another persons post, you already get a warning for expressing your opinion. The mods there are idiots, especially cinder. Mouseplanet is also terrible as well but it's not the mods who are bad, it's the idiotic soccer moms who post there day after day after day. :twisted:

[leftcoaster]

I don't visit WDWmagic hardly. I usually visit Mouseinfo and that place is a dictator board. If you say one negative thing about another persons post, you already get a warning for expressing your opinion. The mods there are idiots, especially cinder. Mouseplanet is also terrible as well but it's not the mods who are bad, it's the idiotic soccer moms who post there day after day after day. :twisted:Agreed. Soccer moms are everywhere. They want to stay at the Contemp (or Boardwalk) and get pissy if the Contemp is under rehab (there was a thread about that a few months back). She got pissy because CRO suggested staying at the Poly, and she didn't want to. Or the "PLEASE HELP ME PLAN MY ENTIRE WDW TRIP!" threads. :rolleyes:

Then of course, you have the perpetual rumor mill of the 5th park/gate, the Harry Potter attraction, monorail expansion, etc etc.

I have to give all of you a round of applause for handling these morons day after day. I'm sure you hear it all the time now, "Well, I read on the internet/disney board that...."

*shakes head

[Polar33]

Hey guys,

While I share many of your frustrations with the "other Disney forums", this thread isn't the place for them. Believe it or not, we get a lot of traffic from those sites, and many of them actually get what this site is about, but I'd hate for people to see posts attacking "their" boards and then turn a blind eye to everything else we have to offer. Regardless, you can rest assured that I will not allow this site to be reduced to the mindless trip planning and "how I would run things if I were in charge" nonsense that tend to muck down the other sites.

[sandravb79]

I'm someone who posts every day on Mouseplanet. No, I'm not a soccer mom (no idea what that is, actually), and no, it's not because I don't have a life (just because I'm bored at work)
Except for the never-ending threads "how will the crowds be on March 31, 2014", I think a lot of useful information can be found over there. Yes, there are gossip-threads about rumors etc, but also a lot of fun threads.
I learned quite a lot over there, you know, little "disneyland"-secrets. It also prevented me from asking too many stupid questions to CMs.
ACtually, I am almost afraid now of asking something to a CM :(

[Natural Selection Fan]

Regardless, you can rest assured that I will not allow this site to be reduced to the mindless trip planning and "how I would run things if I were in charge" nonsense that tend to muck down the other sites.
YAY!

BTW, what's the weather gonna be like on March 21 of '08?

:::: flee ::::

[PirateJohn]

ACtually, I am almost afraid now of asking something to a CM :(Ah, don't be. We're quite accustomed to getting the same questions over and over. Gets to the point where we can answer most questions before our brain even finishes processing the question.

[Stduck]

Exactly. Especially the bathroom question. We do hide them pretty well. I still believe there are only 2 stupid questions in life (we can thank my 10th grade History teacher for this). 1. The question that was just asked (that you were listening to be asked) and 2. The question that you didn't ask that appears on the test.

[CerasiJ]

Moving the topic slightly back to its original form: Last Saturday I actually saw Bill Engvall [the God of "Here's Your Sign"] in a stand up show here, [IN ALASKA, HOLY CRAP, PEOPLE ACTUALLY COME TO ALASKA!] and if you ever get the chance to see him live, DO IT! You will not be disappointed.

Now, for what you've all been waiting for...

I work in a law firm, I answer the phones, but I'm sure you all knew that by now. A few days ago this guy calls and says, "I just have a quick question." to which I think, "Oh shit, another one." So the guy goes on to tell me his life story which boils down to this: his brother had a child with his live-in girlfriend, and they both typed up an "agreement" on their computer stating that the child was theirs, they would always take care of it, they would always live in Alaska, etc, etc.

So the guy on the phone says, "And they just want to go somewhere and have this thing [the document] notarized, then they say it's a binding, legal document. And I just want to know if that is true." By this time I am practically asleep on the other end of the phone, so I replied, “You know sir, I can’t tell you that.” [Because 1) I didn’t know the answer and 2) it’s kinda not good to give out legal advice, when you yourself are not a lawyer.]

So, the moron says, “Why can’t you tell me?”

I say, “Because sir, number one, you have not retained me as your attorney. Number two, I am NOT an attorney, so, you can’t retain me, therefore, I can’t dispense legal advice to you.” [Makes sense to me, but hey, what the hell do I know?]

He asks, “So, why can’t you tell me?”

I said, “Because I’m not an attorney.” [HELLO, asshole!]

I decided this guy must be President of the Idiot Club [Alaska chapter, anyway] because he finishes up our conversation by saying, “Well… can’t you just guess?”

WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY’S BRAIN???

I said, “Yes, sir, I can guess, but I’ll have to charge you $500.00 for that guess.”

He finally replies, “Oh, okay, well, then, thanks for you time.” And hangs up on me.


Does that qualify as a "HYS"? :D:

[PirateJohn]

Does that qualify as a "HYS"? :D:I think it qualifies better as a "HYPC"

Here's Your Padded Cell

[hobie16]

Last Saturday I actually saw Bill Engvall [the God of "Here's Your Sign"] in a stand up show here, [IN ALASKA, HOLY CRAP, PEOPLE ACTUALLY COME TO ALASKA!]I was in Anchorage on business and staying at the Sheraton. I met Wolfman Jack in the elevator. he was MCing a Blast From The Past concert in the high school gym (biggest venue in town) starring Paul Revere and The Raiders and The Association. I wanted to go but it was sold out.

[CerasiJ]

I was in Anchorage on business and staying at the Sheraton. I met Wolfman Jack in the elevator. he was MCing a Blast From The Past concert in the high school gym (biggest venue in town) starring Paul Revere and The Raiders and The Association. I wanted to go but it was sold out.

Yeah, I think that was August of '04, right? I heard on the radio this morning that the Rolling Stones were coming to Anchorage. Yeah, right, they'll probably cancel! :p:

[hobie16]

Yeah, I think that was August of '04, right?It was about twenty years ago.

[MistyT]

For Festival of the Lion King at DAK: Questions and the answers I would of loved to give!

Lady: "Where do we get our 3D glasses for the show?"
Me: "That would be out the exit door, up the path, make a right at the T in the path, then a left into It's Tough to be a Bug."

Lady: "Is the fire twirler really using real fire?"
Me: "No ma'am, actually he is using Fire-esta which gives an amazing resemblence to real fire, but is only actually 5 degrees above normal room temp."

Man to my coworker "Where is the train?"
Co worker pointing to Rafiki's Planet Watch "That is where you can catch the train."
Man:"So that is where I go to get to MGM?"
Co worker: "No sir, that would be the parking lot."

And just a quick story to prove that we are invisible until needed. My good friend Dave at work was standing at the Photocell at the front of FOLK greeting guests and saying "Welcome to the Little Mermaid Show." This went on for about 3 minutes and only one guest actually noticed what he had said. :timon: :pumbaa:

[leftcoaster]

For Festival of the Lion King at DAK: Questions and the answers I would of loved to give!I finally saw the show back in December. Very cool!

Also I would like to pass on a big THANK YOU! to the CM (a black girl) that saw that I was preparing to videotape the show. She suggested that I would have a better view if I stood at the top of the bleachers (the bleachers to the extreme right as you enter the theater - I was all the way near the exit). She allowed me to stand in the corner, with my monopod and tape. :D:

I thanked her, but because of the darkness I did not get her name. Sorry. :o:

[IndyandMarion]

YAY!

BTW, what's the weather gonna be like on March 21 of '08?

Partly cloudy. High in the mid 80s. Chance of guest stupidity: 100%

[Jumboshrmp]

Quick fun fact. You know the harness? Screw em, you dont need it. The way the ride is set up is on cyntrifical force so in all reality, you wouldn't fall out of your seat at all...provided we didn't have an emergency stop...then that would be bad.
I wouldn't trust the guests to not try something stupid, like jump out of the limo during the ride, if there were no harnesses.
I can just imagine everyone flying forward during the E-Stop. Or someone stanbding up just as the train is launching....

[Jumboshrmp]

At stitch's great mistake inside the final chamber.

Guest: Does this spin (reasonable question)
Me: No
Guest: You sure? (UGH)
Me: Yes
Guest: Ok so what does it do at the end? Drop or something.
Me: Absolutly not
Guest: I am a passholder so you can tell me the truth.
Me: As much as I want it to in the five months I have worked here none of the seats have moved an inch from this position.
Guest: But what does it do.
At this point the show starts so the guy finds his seat.
Me not to anyone in particular: You got me this flips upside down 18 times and then fills up with water until I can't hold my breath any longer and push the red button. I have had five months of practice though SO HOW LONG CAN YOU HOLD YOU BREATH??!!!!!
Probably my favorite quote ever...
And Calling it stitches great mistake...fits perfectly.

[Panther007]

I can just imagine everyone flying forward during the E-Stop. Or someone stanbding up just as the train is launching....that would be soo awesome to watch

try in rollercoaster tycoon 3 and build a coaster that can be launched and build a station platform and 1 straight piece or a slight upward then open the ride and make sure it launches close to 60 mph

make sure you dont test it or it will close due to crashing

and ride the ride it will be awesome and fun (i did it and launched at 300 mph and built another ride that launched at 500 and 1,000 mph, i would love to see disney launch a ride that fast then boom instantly die when they hit the E-break)

[Jumboshrmp]

that would be soo awesome to watch

try in rollercoaster tycoon 3 and build a coaster that can be launched and build a station platform and 1 straight piece or a slight upward then open the ride and make sure it launches close to 60 mph

make sure you dont test it or it will close due to crashing

and ride the ride it will be awesome and fun (i did it and launched at 300 mph and built another ride that launched at 500 and 1,000 mph, i would love to see disney launch a ride that fast then boom instantly die when they hit the E-break)
Sure, I would love to see it too! (but not the "boom instantly die" part...)

[Jumboshrmp]

You people just don't get it. You are either too ignorant or too arrogant to understand what I am saying. I will no longer waste my time arguing the point.

Enjoy your miserable jobs and I hope someday you are on the receiving end of IndyandMarion's behavior.

I I hope maybe one day I get to also. Not that i'm going to pull of soemthing stupid, but I would love to have a laugh!

[Syndrome]

Even though I'm not a CM (yet), may I share a HYS moment? My husband and I have taken nearly 50 Disney cruises, so hopefully we've earned the "right" ;)

On our last Wonder cruise, in January, I was in the salon area of the spa getting a facial and neck/shoulder massage. A gentleman sitting nearby was getting some sort of foot treatment and complaining to the CM why he needed it so badly. He said that he thought all of the hotels were INSIDE the theme parks! I got the impression that he thought the parks were all right by each other, too. He couldn't believe that not only was his hotel (CBR) pretty far away, but he was also expected to walk so far to the front gates from the bus stops. He didn't pack appropriate shoes, and therefore he was blistered. How could Disney not make it more clear that the hotels are not inside the parks?!? :rolleyes:

And just in case you think I'm kidding, here's my website to prove my DCL obsession: www.castawayclub.com

[PirateJohn]

He said that he thought all of the hotels were INSIDE the theme parks! I got the impression that he thought the parks were all right by each other, too. He couldn't believe that not only was his hotel (CBR) pretty far away, but he was also expected to walk so far to the front gates from the bus stops. He didn't pack appropriate shoes, and therefore he was blistered. How could Disney not make it more clear that the hotels are not inside the parks?!? :rolleyes:Reminds me of my first stint as a CM. I used to have to take the bus from LA to Anaheim on the 460 Express bus. (Yeah, I know, it took a friggin' long time.)

At the time, the last stop of the 460 bus would be at Harbor & Katella and would go right from there to the Fullerton Park & Ride. Being an express bus that crossed county lines, it would usually be an hour between buses, so I got used to waiting a long time at the bus stop. I'd usually have a book with me.

One day I missed the bus by only a few minutes, so I settled in for the long haul. A few minutes later, a woman showed up and asked me when the next bus was. I told her it would be at least 45 minutes. She huffed at the long wait but sat down anyway.

Eventually, the bus came and we boarded. The bus drove north to get on the five. After the first corner, less than 200 yards from Katella Ave., she asked why the bus hadn't stopped. The driver told her the next stop was in Fullerton.

So, a woman waited 45 minutes for a bus to take her a distance she could have walked in five.

[Syndrome]

That bus story made me think of the WDW parking lot melee we so often witness. We're big fans of the AAA parking at the theme parks because I cannot stand the tram stampede. In January, I usually manage to barter with a tourist for one of the permits that I, as a local, can use all year. It allows me the luxury of walking the front entrance rather than taking a tram, even though the walk is sometimes a bit long. I hate being run down in a herd of crazed, frothing tourists who act like if they don't get onto the very first tram that comes along, they'll never see another one again (even though another one is following right behind). I'll choose to walk any day!

But I always snicker when I hear others complaining about the AAA lots. "Oh my God! This is so freakin' far! I have to walk my poor little footsies off! How dare they make me do this...it's supposed to be a special parking pass! The Diamond parking should be right by the front gate." Don't they realize that if they parked in "non-special" lots, they would have less of a walk because the tram would haul their lazy butts instead of forcing them to (gasp) get some exercise? And if they're that adverse to walking, they should just turn around and go back home...what do they think they're going to be doing in the park for the next umpteen hours?

This is just the observation of a lowly guest. I can't even imagine how you CMs deal with the insanity on a daily basis.

[BRWombat]

Even though I'm not a CM (yet), may I share a HYS moment? My husband and I have taken nearly 50 Disney cruises, so hopefully we've earned the "right" ;)
Hi Barb, and welcome to SGT! As soon as I read your first line (quoted above) I wondered if it was you -- who else has been on that many Disney cruises??? Once you listed your website I knew for sure. (We've never met, though we did exchange voice mails on a March '03 cruise -- my first, your 30th.)

You'll like it here -- it's a great deal of fun, if a glimpse "behind the scenes" doesn't spoil the magic for you. The folks here are very nice and tolerant of us non-CM's. Hope you enjoy.

Still love your website!

[Zazu]

This is just the observation of a lowly guest. I can't even imagine how you CMs deal with the insanity on a daily basis.Some days, I don't know either.

:mrita:

At least, I don't remember....

[Syndrome]

You'll like it here -- it's a great deal of fun, if a glimpse "behind the scenes" doesn't spoil the magic for you. The folks here are very nice and tolerant of us non-CM's. Hope you enjoy.
Thanks for the reassurance! I love "backstage" stuff so I'm thoroughly enjoying the stories here. Too bad there's not a section for the DCL crew members. We know a lot of them after so many cruises, and they have some great stories to tell! But they work so many hours that they don't get much internet time anyway.

Now that we live in Celebration, I'm tempted to work at WDW a couple days a week. Only problem is, I have enough trouble holding my tongue with stupid guest behavior when I visit the parks as a fellow guest. Dunno how long I'd last as a CM who HAS to be tolerant!

[Stduck]

Only problem is, I have enough trouble holding my tongue with stupid guest behavior when I visit the parks as a fellow guest. Dunno how long I'd last as a CM who HAS to be tolerant!

Hold it long enough till you get off stage then share the story with your crew. It's the only thing that keeps us sane. And good luck with getting a job at WDW.

[PrincessJasmine1972]

Well, I have never been to WDW, nor do I work at a park, but I can seriously see where you all are coming from. I have worked with the public and they do ask some stupid questions..heck I've had a blonde moment and done it myself. In my guest experience,all of the CMs I have ever come in contact with at Busch Gardens Williamsburg have been great to me, but I also understand the need for a place to vent. I have been reading through these threads and find most of it quite funny. Some people just don't have brains or either too overexcited,lol. Anyway, thanks for the laughs!

[AirForceFoLife]

most common one i get, i work at Sci-Fi Dine In


(after walking into doors, passing under a MASSIVE illuminated sign that says "Sci-Fi Dine In"
Guest: what is this?
Me: this is a restaurant
Guest: oh, so its not a ride
Me: no ma'am/sir' this is a restaurant
Guest: so we can eat here?
Me: Yes, this is a RESTAURANT


I wanna say, no we are out of food u just ran out of it, but ur more than welcome to come and sit in our booth style cars and watch the clips of our movies and we can still charge u like u ate and call it a ride!

[RobGraves]

whoo hoo... first post here... got a few already and tomorrow is my fist day in my Dept. My wife and i went to the studios on Monday to re-familiarize myself with the park as i have been in california the last few years.

Anyway, we had two stupid guest quotes in a matter of minutes.

1) in line for GMR set to be in the next load of uests going in:
Guest: man are we ever going to go through this line, i've seen this video enough now.
My Wife: It's not like its that bad of a wait, i mean we waited in here for a while this morning but the ride was down so we had to come back now... its nothing to complain over.
Guest: oh, really.. did they ever get it running...
at that moment i saw my wife's eyes glaze over to prevent that quote from causing permenant brain damage. then she turned around to cut off the contact and saw that the child in the other side of the queue was running his mouth up and down the rail licking it... then she went into a brief coma.

THEN upon exiting GMR we heard a passing guest exclaim the beloved quote... "Is the great movie ride a ride?"
to which she turned and beat me to it... "Nope, its a parade."

[RagnarokandRoll]

Ok, today I had another GMR Here's your sign

Going into Casablanca the scene shown is the end of the movie with Humphry Bogard talking to Ingrid Bergman just before she gets on the airplane. A guest says "Oh my favorate, Gone With the Wind." I look at her and said, yeah those civil war aircraft sure helped the union win the war didn't it.

Here's your sign.

Going into The Wizard of Oz, another guest claimed it was How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Now I don't know about you, but munchkinland doesn't quite look like Jamaica.

As a fellow movie rider, I need to point out that at least 95% of comments made during oz are sarcastic/sardonic. I can't tell for certain but I'm pretty sure the guy was kidding about stella got her groove back. I've had a lot of jokers who thought they were hilarious on my shows...

[darph nader]

This is a semi disney HYS moment. I have i straw gamblers hat i bought at Disneyland last year. Sad to say it got mashed in the back seat of my car last year.<my fault>. I wore it to work today and a guy asked "hey where did you get the hat?" I told him Sea World.HYS. Sad to say he' supposed to be my superviser.go figure. :eek: P.S. the band reads Disneylnd Resort

[DeeDee]

I think I've read throught the majority of this thread over the last couple of weeks. I've laughed. I've laughed so hard I've cried. I'm not a CM yet. I start my CP in May. However, I have worked food service/retail my whole life save the last 9 or so months. I have many, many HYS moments. One of my favorite's hails from a Starbucks (I spent, scratch that, wasted 6.5 years of my life with them.) I had a customer order a HOT Chocolate and a Mocha Frappuccino-which for those of you who don't know is a COLD blended coffee drink. The hot drinks come in paper cups and are typically 'warm' to the touch. The cold drinks come in plastic cups and are equally 'cool' to the touch. So, this customer walks up to the hand off plane where the frappuccino is waiting, while milk is being steamed for the hot chocolate, picks up the frappuccino, looks directly at me and asks "Is this the hot chocolate?" This was pretty close to the end of my tenure with the company and my filter was broken down and in desperate need of repair. I tried to keep the "tone" out of my voice as I replied, "No, the hot chocolate will be the hot beverage." She is holding in her hand the cold drink asking if it's the hot drink she ordered: HYS. :confused:

[Dack48]

I think I've read throught the majority of this thread over the last couple of weeks. I've laughed. I've laughed so hard I've cried. I'm not a CM yet. I start my CP in May.

You're going to love the CP DeeDee. I did it and it was the best thing that has ever happened to me. If you have any questions beforehand, you're more than free to contact me, AIM is Dack48

[DeeDee]

Dack48

Thanks! I'll add you to my buddy list. I feel like I've done so much research so far that I've got a good idea of what to expect, but I'm sure the closer I get the more panicked I'll be. Hope to talk to you soon.

Dee

[joanna71985]

Hey Dee! Welcome to SGTs! Hope you like it here. :D: My AIM is joanna71985 if you have any questions, or just want to talk. Hope to see you down in Disney!

[IndyandMarion]

Ah. Nice to see that after a year and a half, people still continue to laugh to a crying state over this. (Want to thank you guys again for making this what it is.)

DeeDee, is it true about what Lewis Black says...about the plans Starbucks has to build a Starbucks...across from a Starbucks across America. Welcome to the insane asylum by the way.

I'm full time but I will say this, love the CP program, just don't love anyone from the CP program...Welcome to the slave-Welcome to the mouse house, you're going to love it.

(You'll understand the last comment when you start working)

[IndyandMarion]

I actually had a SCMT(Stupid Cast Member Trick) that lasted Six months...went against my own ideals about not dating anyone at work, dated someone at work and got left behind on our sixth month anniversary. Heh, served me right.

Just so you know, I'm compiling an updated version of the book. Standby for it, should be up in about a week.

[xtinkerbell84x]

^Dating someone at work is NEVER a good idea, I've done it twice, I dated a fellow CM at F! at the beginning of last year, and I just recently ended a relationship I was in with one of the area coordinators because he kinda sorta forgot to mention that he was still with his gf of 8 years.
btw Indy, I saw her yesterday right before parade. I was shocked when she told me about you guys. Sorry to hear it.

Anyways, I've got 2, and both have been since I became a guest again.

*at Epcot waiting in line for M:S*
Girl next to me - "Hey, look...the first family in space! That's so cool! Is that real? Oh, wait...I think it's fake."
*weird look at her* Here's Your Sign.
My friend Evan and I came up with a brilliant idea right after she said it that we should all have business card-sized signs to keep in our pockets and hand them out :D:

*Just yesterday at Tower FP Return with Chris O.*
Chris - "Ma'am, may I see your FPs?"
--Woman shows them to Chris--
Chris - "Ma'am, these are not valid FPs."
Woman - "Why not?"
Chris - "Because they say NOT A VALID FP."
--Woman goes through standby and Chris and I look at each other and laugh-- Here's Your Sign.

[Jumboshrmp]

*Just yesterday at Tower FP Return with Chris O.*
Chris - "Ma'am, may I see your FPs?"
--Woman shows them to Chris--
Chris - "Ma'am, these are not valid FPs."
Woman - "Why not?"
Chris - "Because they say NOT A VALID FP."
--Woman goes through standby and Chris and I look at each other and laugh-- Here's Your Sign.
Wow, that's great! At least she didn't try and argue, that would have been hard to prove.

[IndyandMarion]

No need to be tink. I went against my own ideals and I got what i had coming to me because of it.

However, I do ask that this be the last time it is mentioned. Both here and at work (Provided we actually ever run into each other)

[NikkiGrrl]

ahhh i love this topic ^^

when i last posted here i was working McDonald's. Now I'm working at a Chili's and let me tell you...i've seen a decrease in stupid people but they're still out there.

Repeated Question: "Can i pay now or later?" (I work To-Go)
Repeated answer: "It's totally up to you."

One woman come sin, picks up a to-go menu and is looking it over. I'm waiting to take her order. she points to something on the menu, more precisely the pasta's.

G: "Does these two have alfredo sauce?"
Me: "Yes ma'am."
G: "oh...well. I don't want shrimp." (Is referring to our Shrimp Alfredo Pasta) she points right to the Cajun Chicken Pasta. "What doe sthis have?"
M: (Desired responce) "Well ma'am, if you learned how to read you would obviously see that it is a CHICKEN pasta." (Actual response) "It's chicken...ma'am."

We also get a lot of the "I've been waiting XX minutes for my food!!! where is it grrrr!!!" when in actuallity it's only been...meh 8 minutes.

on a side note, my restauraunt has been frequented by members of the Carolina Panthers (Ken Lucas and Jeff Mitchell have both been sighted, i waited on Jeff Mitchell personally in To-Go.)

[lady ulrike]

Dating someone at work is NEVER a good idea,

It's not NEVER a good idea, most of the time it's not. See, I dated someone from work and now I'm marrying him, of course he also isn't a CM anymore. :)

[TheManator]

It's not NEVER a good idea, most of the time it's not. See, I dated someone from work and now I'm marrying him, of course he also isn't a CM anymore. :)

I met my wife at three jobs ago.
And we're already planning our Disney World Tour :P

Some it's a bad idea, for me, it means marital.

[PirateJohn]

Some it's a bad idea, for me, it means marital.
For some, marital is a bad idea! :D:

[Jumboshrmp]

I was going to post this in the thread about Tower of Terror (you'll understand why if you've read it), but I decided it would be best here.
Two HYS from Space Mountain that I have witnessed on Space Mountain:

Guest: Does this ride go upside-down?
CM: Only seven times.

Guest: How fast does this go?
CM: 3 times the speed of light.

[IndyandMarion]

After two years of collecting these...I thought it was high time I stepped into the mind of a guest to see exactly how and why it happens. It was frightening yes but damn, I had fun doing it.

Me: Excuse me, where is the castle?
CM: Right behind me.
Me: *Looked at the castle* Oh no, the other one.
CM: We don't have any other castle. . .
Me: Yeah you do, the sleeping beauty castle.
CM: That's out in Disneyland California.
Me: Wait. I flew here from Maine to see that castle and it's not even here!?
CM: Sorry.
Me: It's ok, I was only messing with you. *Told the real deal behind me asking*

Me: Is there a restroom close by? *Knowing full well there was one behind me about twenty feet away*
CM: Yes, right in that hall way.
Me: Is there one closer?
CM: No, that is the only one nearby.

I still have yet to fully understand the nature of the stupid questions...but maybe someday.

[IRSmart1]

I always love it when it rains because of the way guests act in/around the trams. One night in particular, I didn't have my rain gear with me when it started raining pretty hard. Obviously, after just a few minutes I was soaked head to toe. Here comes a ton of guests heading toward the trams to go home. Of course, everyone is trying to force their way onto the tram because they ALL want to get on the first one. Even when there are no seats left they will still walk up and down the tram despite repeated requests to step away from the tram.
I remember one instance when the tram was full, I was doing my walkthrough to be sure the tram was SAFELY loaded. I came upon a man who would not sit down all the way due to the fact that the seat was wet (gee, what a concept, you mean rain makes stuff wet???). He asked me if I had a towel. I replied with a nice "No, I'm sorry I don't". He replied with "You mean I have to sit my butt on this wet seat!!??". At this point you should've seen all the rest of the guests in that car. They all looked at me like: Is this guy an idiot? It's raining! I said "Yes, its for your safety". "You're supposed to make sure the seats are dry before each trip."
What a moron. Number one, it's raining, DUH! Of course everything is wet. In fact that becomes the most popular phrase once it rains. Number two, NO it is NOT my job to keep it dry. My job is to get you safely beack to your parking area. Take your pick, sit on a wet tram or walk back to your car.
One other woman holding a baby in her arms got mad when I asked her to wait for the next tram due to the fact that this one was full. "But I have a baby!!" "Ma'am, there are no more seats!!! Step back please." I never understand people that think they get priority over others just because they have a child. As if they're the only ones with a child in all the resort. Same with parking their car, "can I park closer, I have kids?". :mad:

[Flame]

alright, here's one.

i was at MAGIC KINGDOM, right by Haunted Mansion.

i heard a guy behind me say "Is that Tower of Terror?".

i seriously wanted to say "No you moron. the sign that clearly states "HAUNTED MANSION" means absolutly nothing." -.-


they need an IQ test for the parks. anyone with below 115 doesn't get in. lmao.

[SplashLover93]

thank gosh im not in any of these! I was worried when we got back from our Epcot trip with school that we'd be the ones on here btw sorry to the cm who got told they were "hott" by my friend!

[Jumboshrmp]

thank gosh im not in any of these! I was worried when we got back from our Epcot trip with school that we'd be the ones on here btw sorry to the cm who got told they were "hott" by my friend!
Wow. are you serious? My friends do that all the time.

[SplashLover93]

Wow. are you serious? My friends do that all the time.
yea only my mom was right there then she ran away leaving us there standing there in shock :eek: it was pretty funny because a moment before she was declaring her love to the British telephone booth then moved onto the cm. Yea sorry for interupting the thread somehow i always get off topic :D:

[Syndrome]

I was at WDW yesterday for the DCL announcement, and as I walked in, a man pointed at Spaceship Earth and told his companion, "There's Space Mountain!" I was dying to say, "I had no idea that mountains were ball-shaped...HYS." (Although I guess to be fair, the real SM isn't realistically shaped either...but doesn't he know the difference between MK and Epcot?)

[Jumboshrmp]

Anything with "space" in it gets mixed up.
I have heard guests call Space Mountain Mission Space, and they often call Mission Space "Mission to Mars".

[EpcotGolfer]

Anything with "space" in it gets mixed up.
I have heard guests call Space Mountain Mission Space, and they often call Mission Space "Mission to Mars".

Well at least that last one makes sense. You're on a mission, you're going to Mars, it has Gary Sinease (sp?) who was in a movie called "Mission to Mars", and there used to be an attraction called Mission to Mars (albiet at the Magic Kingdom).

But looking at SSE and calling it Space Mountain? That's a little odd.

[Jumboshrmp]

Well at least that last one makes sense. You're on a mission, you're going to Mars, it has Gary Sinease (sp?) who was in a movie called "Mission to Mars", and there used to be an attraction called Mission to Mars (albiet at the Magic Kingdom).

But looking at SSE and calling it Space Mountain? That's a little odd.

Yeah, I know. But you can't really expect everybody who goes to WDW to know about every attraction. Most people don't realize that it is even called spaceship earth. They probably only remember bits and pieces, or maybe have just heard the name, and assume "Oh, this must be it."
(By the way, I think it's Gary Sinise)

[leftcoaster]

Yeah, I know. But you can't really expect everybody who goes to WDW to know about every attraction. Most people don't realize that it is even called spaceship earth. They probably only remember bits and pieces, or maybe have just heard the name, and assume "Oh, this must be it."I like saying it's the big golf ball thingie. That really pisses off the Disneyaholics, especially on Disney fan sites when someone starts a thread about "...I can't believe people call (such and such) this name...."

[StephM]

My 2-year-old calls it the "Mickey Ball" So...we do too.

And yes, I have had people give me attitude about it on other message boards. "That's SPACESHIP EARTH!!" Ummmm "I KNOW AND DON'T CARE!"

LoL :rolleyes:

[EpcotGolfer]

heck, I worked there for six months and I even called it "The Big Ball" sometimes to eliminate any chance of confusion. But Space Mountain? C'mon. When was the last time you saw a mountain that was ball-shaped?

[sandravb79]

heck, I worked there for six months and I even called it "The Big Ball" sometimes to eliminate any chance of confusion. But Space Mountain? C'mon. When was the last time you saw a mountain that was ball-shaped?

When did you see for the last time a Spaceship that was shaped like that?

:cool: :rolleyes: :twisted: :p:

[DeeDee]

My 2-year-old calls it the "Mickey Ball" So...we do too.

And yes, I have had people give me attitude about it on other message boards. "That's SPACESHIP EARTH!!" Ummmm "I KNOW AND DON'T CARE!"

LoL :rolleyes:


Too cute. Little ones really know how to simplify things, lol. :p:

[Alyssa3467]

When did you see for the last time a Spaceship that was shaped like that?

:cool: :rolleyes: :twisted: :p:http://witch.net/forum/images/smiles/borg_assimilation_faces.gif
http://witch.net/forum/images/smiles/borgsmile.gifhttp://witch.net/forum/images/smiles/borgsmile.gifhttp://witch.net/forum/images/smiles/borgsmile.gifhttp://witch.net/forum/images/smiles/borgsmile.gifhttp://witch.net/forum/images/smiles/borgsmile.gif
Resistance is futile...

[leftcoaster]

Uhh..the Borg ship was a cube... :aliens:

http://witch.net/forum/images/smiles/borg_assimilation_faces.gif
http://witch.net/forum/images/smiles/borgsmile.gifhttp://witch.net/forum/images/smiles/borgsmile.gifhttp://witch.net/forum/images/smiles/borgsmile.gifhttp://witch.net/forum/images/smiles/borgsmile.gifhttp://witch.net/forum/images/smiles/borgsmile.gif
Resistance is futile...

[Gregor]

Uhh..the Borg ship was a cube... :aliens:

...and some were a sphere.

[BRWombat]

...and some were a sphere.You know, come to think of it, the ship from "The Corbomite Maneuver" episode of the original Star Trek was a sphere.





I am such a geek.

[EpcotGolfer]

http://zappa.brainiac.com/spaceship/AMT/ertl-death-star.jpeg

[hhsrat]

EpcotGolfer ... got it just a little wrong ... try this one

http://www.eric-abrams.net/pictures/data/media/6/deathstar_Earth.jpg

[tenprincess]

that's awesome, gotta love photoshop!

[Syndrome]

I like saying it's the big golf ball thingie. That really pisses off the Disneyaholics, especially on Disney fan sites when someone starts a thread about "... I can't believe people call (such and such) this name...."I love the new sponsorship, which will allow me to piss off those same types of people by saying "Wow! There's the big ball of Siemens!"

Of course, I also get my jollies wearing a couple of extremely rare pins that I have (got 'em as gifts from a CM friend) and watching the pin sharks drool puddles of rabid foam. I am probably crazy to do it, as I suspect they will mug me someday. I am a Disney fanatic, but there is a line that I will not cross, and the people who HAVE crossed it frighten the heck out of me!

[tenprincess]

I love the new sponsorship, which will allow me to piss off those same types of people by saying "Wow! There's the big ball of Siemens!":D: :D: :D:
and that's all i've got to say about that!

[alexp2005]

Hey guys. I am new the the site and am a current CP ::cue pointing and laughter:: Working in entertaintment I really want to punch some people as in:

guest: where is daisy duck?
me: at the Studios on Mickey Ave until about 5
guest: [opening MK map] where is that at?
me: not in this park. The DISNEY MGM studios
guest: wait, i thought daisy was a disney character
me: she is, she's at the studios
guest: why would she be at a MGM park? What ever.

Me being with our friends a guest comes up and asks "man, it must be hot in that costume." HELLO?!?! DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD ANSWER THAT?

ps - in a recent thread somebody posted about the "i'm surrounded by idiots" shirt. I found one at Cast Connection today. I love how it has Disney on the back of the shirt.

[EpcotGolfer]

ps - in a recent thread somebody posted about the "i'm surrounded by idiots" shirt. I found one at Cast Connection today. I love how it has Disney on the back of the shirt.

Well, that is a quote from a Disney Movie...

[Main Streeter]

ps - in a recent thread somebody posted about the "i'm surrounded by idiots" shirt. I found one at Cast Connection today. I love how it has Disney on the back of the shirt.Here's my sign!:o: Is Cast Connection like DLR Company D?

[Notatourist]

A good friend of mine called it Spaceball:The Treadmill

[justafigment84]

Here's my sign!:o: Is Cast Connection like DLR Company D?


Nope....Cast Connection is a store out behind Magic Kingdom where we can get merchandise from the parks for between 50 and 75% off.

[Main Streeter]

Cast Connection is a store out behind Magic Kingdom where we can get merchandise from the parks for between 50 and 75% off.Thanks! Yup, Cast Connection is exactly like our Co. D. Wish they carried the shirt Alexp2005 found. Those would be gone within an hr. in Anaheim.

[justafigment84]

Thanks! Yup, Cast Connection is exactly like our Co. D. Wish they carried the shirt Alexp2005 found. Those would be gone within an hr. in Anaheim.


Ah...see we have both Co D and Cast Connection so I was confused.....lol

[CBeilby]

Ah...see we have both Co D and Cast Connection so I was confused.....lol

Yeah. I think your Company D is what we call the TEAM Center.

[Syndrome]

That shirt is also one of those sold at "Lion King" (the Broadway play). I have a black one with a picture of the Broadway Scar and that quote.

[DLRFantasmic!Dan]

At HISTA Greeter:

Guest: Is the Space Mountain wait time accurate? 90 minutes??
Me (Thinking): Nope, it's 5 hours!

Guest (Literally every 5 seconds): Where is the fast pass for Space Mountain?
Me pointing towards the direction of the fast pass with a big smile on my face.
Guest (Laughing): You get that question all the time huh?
Me nodding.

Note: From a Space Mountain CM:

Rules for riding space mountain

1. do not ask for the front row
2. do not use the storage pouches in front of you
3. do not run twoards moving rockets
4. fat ppl should put away the turkey legs
5. both legs must be under one lap bar
6. do not weigh down our rockets
7. do not wave to the cast memeber in tower
8. no screaming allowed.
9. do not ask to ride again.
10. Space Mtn. fast passes are not to be used early.
11. Space Mtn. is a roller coaster not a game.
12. tell the castmemebers how many in your party not who you are riding with
13. pull up on the lap bars dont raise your hands
14. to not shove fastpasses in our face.
15. during a down time dont ask us how long were going to be down for we dont know
16. do not ask to go into the blue room
17. dont ask us if the line is really ### long.
18. your admission ticket is not a fast pass.
19. birthdays do not get to cut in line so they dont have to wait just because its your birthday.
20. do not leave trash on our unload dock.
21. old ppl should not ride space.
22. hurry your fat ass up when loading the rocket
23. if your fat and ask us if your can fit in the rocket we be honost and give you a truthfull answer.
24. fast pass go first before stand by.
25. fast passes can not and will not be used early.
26. the blue tickets are used to get a fast pass, and are fast passes alone
27. If you paid 50$ to come into disneyland just to ride space mountain you got fucking riped off
28. lapbars go over the legs and are not to be sat on.
29. there is no lap sitting'
30. no more than two ppl per row.
31. the blue tickets are used to get a fast pass and are not fast passes alone.
32. do not use the stoarage pouches
33. remember to grab your stuff when exiting.
34. have your stuff ready to exit before the rockets stops in the station
35. do not force your bags in the puches when your stuff does not easyly fit such as backpacks and purses.
36. when at bars and we say pull up your bars we mean pull up on your bars. dont raise your hands, push the bars down further, or just sit there and sare at us "PULL UP ON YOUR FUCKING LAPBAR!!!!!"
37. if you have a party bigger than 12 ppl your party is going to be split up rockets can only carry 12 ppl per rocket.
38. do not read the warning signs then ask us if this ride is like it says on the warnign sign
i Hate stupid questions

here are some of the dumest qustions that i have been asked and as you know i like doing the bill engvalls heres yor sign remarks so i think youll find some of thes funny

1. i was doing GC and i had my flash light with the light cone on it and a cast memeber comes up to me and asked "hey you doing Guest Control" i was like "nope training to become a jedi"

2. i was working space mountain and i was at the entrence and a guest comes up to me and askes "is this the entrence to space mountain" i was like "nope entrence to autopia"

3. i was working autopia entrence and a guest come up to me and asked me "excuse me do the bathrooms have toliets in them" i was like "nope you piss in the sink"

4. i was working track on autopia and a guest come up to me and asked me "do these cars run on fuel" i was like "nope they run on the hopes and dreams of chrildren"

5. i was wokring autopia and a guest come up to me and asked me "excuse me but are the names on your name tags are those your real names" i was like nope "my real name is bob a lob a ding dong i just thougth david would be easier to rmemeber"

6. i was waling to the inn between in my auto costume and a guest comes up to me and askes "excuse do you work here" i was like Nope "im on break from taco bell"

7. i was working in the station of space mountain and a guest askes me "is this space mountian" i was like nope "this is acutally the indiana jones adventure in the year 2015"

8. working the entrece of the attractions pple always ask "is that the real wait time" i was woking space and or auto and they come up to me and ask "excuse me is the wait really 60 minutes" i was like "nope the wait is acutally about 59 minutes we just decided to round it up one"

9. i was working track on autopia at line one and a guest drove up to me from gate six to gate one and asked me "how do i make the car go do i push the peadle" i was like "nope you use your thought to make the car go"

10. i was doing circular flow infront of tours and a guest comes up to me and asked me "are the fire works going to be in the sky" i was like "nope under the rivers of america"

11. im working the entrence of of space or auto and guest come up to me as ask if the wait is really 30 min long i was like "no the wait is really 29.9min wait"

12. i was working the entrecne to autopia and a guest come up to me and ask "wats the differnce between this autopia and that autopia" i was like "nothing that autpia is the autopia fast pass distrubution, where as this autopia is the ride that you go on".

13. i was on grandstand of autopia and at the merge point of grandstand a guest askes me "excuse me is this the line for the monorail" i was like wat a dumb shit didnt you see the line going down to thhe cars and not a longg whit train.

14. i was working the entrence of space mountain and a lady came up to the entrecne and read out loud the warning sign at the entrence when she was done she looks at me and asked me "excuse me is this the entrecne to space mountain and is this a roller coaster ride in the dark" i was like "nope this is thhe line for monorail we jsut up space mountain to get your hopes up" and remember she read the warning sign out loud every single work.

15. working on space a guest asked me "excuse me on this ride do you really get launced into space?" i was like "oh yeah we have billions of dollars to lauch a rocket in space very 20 seconds.

16. i was working merge at space and a guest come up to me and asks "excuse me but can you breath on this ride" i was like "nope no we just tell every one to hold there breath for a really long time"

these are jsut some of the stupid question cast memebers could be asked working disneyland soem are just so stuipid they are funny if you have ever been asked a stupid guest to cast member question let me know i would love to hear it.

[Jumboshrmp]

Rules for riding space mountain

1. do not ask for the front rowNOOO!!!!!!

I do this all the time!
Space Mountain is the only ride I do it on, because the rockets are so small.
Or does tis only apply to the Disneyland versions?

[IdiotsAreEverywhere]

NOOO!!!!!!

I do this all the time!
Space Mountain is the only ride I do it on, because the rockets are so small.
Or does tis only apply to the Disneyland versions?
Maybe you can ask for the front row but you must wait?

[IRSmart1]

"This tram ONLY goes to the Timon parking area. We do not go the big, concrete parking garage. NO mickey, No minnie, no donald, no daisy, no goofy, no chip and dale, no pinnochio. NO 6 story parking building. ONLY TIMON!!"

After a trip to TIMON:

Oh, I parked in goofy. where are the escalaters?

We don't go to goofy, that is why I said so before the tram took off.

Oh I heard you, I didn't think you were talking to me.

I absolutely hate it when people don't listen to the speil. It's bad enough that they dont read signs. We try to tell them where the trams go to prevent them from wasting their time on a tram ride. I feel its very rude to not listen to the cast member talking to you on the PA. I know it's not a new concept to feel this way but it does get very frustrating every night when this happens.

OH, so you don't go to daisy?

Thats what I said isn't it? Everytime I repeat the phrase there is ALWAYS someone who will look back at me and stare for a moment. It is those same people who come back later all confused. If you would have listened to me in the first place you wouldn't be confused.

[lady ulrike]

NOOO!!!!!!

I do this all the time!
Space Mountain is the only ride I do it on, because the rockets are so small.
Or does tis only apply to the Disneyland versions?

It might only apply to the Disneyland version. My fiancee (I don't know how many e's means male, but whatever) used to work it and because they have to move so fast to prevent the ride breaking down, it irritates them with any special request, they don't have time to adjust. If they do adjust, then they send empty rows or the ride breaks down, so they simply don't (or didn't) adjust.

[Jumboshrmp]

It might only apply to the Disneyland version. My fiancee (I don't know how many e's means male, but whatever) used to work it and because they have to move so fast to prevent the ride breaking down, it irritates them with any special request, they don't have time to adjust. If they do adjust, then they send empty rows or the ride breaks down, so they simply don't (or didn't) adjust.
It breaks down?
How so?
I can understand that a holdup will cause a the trains to stack, therefore stopping the rockets on the brake sections.
Is that what you mean by breaking down?

[Jumboshrmp]

Maybe you can ask for the front row but you must wait?
Yeah, you have to wait for the next train, but I have never been denied a front row seat when I ask for one.

[hhsrat]

If we're talking space mountain at WDW, I prefer row 2, 3, 5 or 6 ... Rows 1 and 4 (the front of each car) don't have quite as much leg room

[IndyandMarion]

It breaks down?
How so?
I can understand that a holdup will cause a the trains to stack, therefore stopping the rockets on the brake sections.
Is that what you mean by breaking down?
She means that the ride will cascade. Cascading is a big thing in older rides (like Space Mountain at WDW). It's basically a fail safe system that keeps the rockets from possibly colliding with each other on the track.

Over at RnRC, we have that system, but it's close to down right impossible for it to happen because of how the ride is set up. Basically the reason is because one of the zones has to be clear for a limo and launch to launch. If we have a limo sitting at the back of the return tunnel for whatever reason with a limo at launch, the one at launch won't do so until the one in the tunnel clears that zone.

So apply that to Space, except that the rockets can continue to move even if that one zone is still occupied. Wait until the new CPs get here in May/June and go to Space, you'll see the work lights on every hour because they haven't gotten use to moving as quick as they need too, causing the ride to cascade and ultimately shut down (Use the TTA to check it out)

[ThunderCat]

So I'm walking through the BTMR queue the other day, and a guest actually asks me, "Excuse me - but is this Frontierland?"

No, ma'am. This is Tomorrowland, and I'm the Space Cowboy - but some people call me Maurice. Here's your Disney sign.

[Jumboshrmp]

So apply that to Space, except that the rockets can continue to move even if that one zone is still occupied. Wait until the new CPs get here in May/June and go to Space, you'll see the work lights on every hour because they haven't gotten use to moving as quick as they need too, causing the ride to cascade and ultimately shut down (Use the TTA to check it out)
Excellent! That's when I'm going. I'll see if I can get pictures for ther
site.
Thanks for the explanation.

[CoffeeGirl]

Guest and daughter standing in The Writer's Stop at the Studios looking at the new book, Journey into Narnia. I am behind the merch counter.

Guest to me: Narnia is Disney??

What I sooo wanted to say: No ma'am, it's Universal. :duh:
Luckily she was nice and almost didnt sound too serious when she asked..otherwise..

[IndyandMarion]

Hm. Understandable. There are a lot of movies that people wouldn't think are Disney's. Or that fly under one of Disney's banners.

Now. Had they gone to the Journey Into A Waste of Time. . .er, I mean Journey Into Narnia, then smack em!

[CoffeeGirl]

Hm. Understandable. There are a lot of movies that people wouldn't think are Disney's. Or that fly under one of Disney's banners.

Now. Had they gone to the Journey Into A Waste of Time. . .er, I mean Journey Into Narnia, then smack em!

Yeah, the day before I was talking with a Guest and her daughter, who couldnt have been over 7, about the Narnia walk through. THe mom sounded all interested and was asking me where it was. Before I could give directions the little girl says to both of us "It's not that special. It's a commercial with fake snow." I wanted to crack up at her sincerity...Is it really that bad? I havent had time to go over there...

And in regards to the former Guest...I think they had gone through...

[IndyandMarion]

If I have someone ask where it is, I'll point it out to them but I'll normally say something such as "In all reality, wait and do this later in the afternoon when its hot and you need AC for a moment or after youve done everything else. All it is, is a five minute trailer for the movie. Entrance is somewhat cool but still, don't go out of your way for it"

[sandravb79]

IndyandMarian,

While at WDW, I tried to get an HYS, but apparantly, I wasn't stupid enough :( :twisted:

Since I couldn't go ON the ride (back injury, I was afrais I would never be able to get OUT of it!!!!), I only got a FP and asked someone why the stupid machine didn't work (because I obviously put my ticket in it upside down :rolleyes: )

[hhsrat]

IndyandMarian,

While at WDW, I tried to get an HYS, but apparantly, I wasn't stupid enough :( :twisted:

Since I couldn't go ON the ride (back injury, I was afrais I would never be able to get OUT of it!!!!), I only got a FP and asked someone why the stupid machine didn't work (because I obviously put my ticket in it upside down :rolleyes: )

FP machines are SUPPOSED to read the cards in any direction. (many things are supposed to happen, in theory ... it's surprising how few actually do in reality)

[DLRFantasmic!Dan]

Our FP machines work one way, and one way only!! They even have a picture to which direction to put the fast pass tickets in.

[sandravb79]

Our FP machines work one way, and one way only!! They even have a picture to which direction to put the fast pass tickets in.

The ones at DLP work only one way (and have a sign that tells you which way), but actually, at WDW, I did put my ticket in in any way. Only at Splash and RnRC it didn't really work.

Oh, and btw, all four parks of WDW have very confusing maps!!!!! (And I was too scared to ask for directions, lol!!!!!)

[IndyandMarion]

I knew it!

Zazu will know what Im talking about. The point of changing the maps was to make it eaiser to understand the description of rides.

Translation=We'll make dumb the descriptions down to meet the IQ level of many guests.

-it's A Small World: An indoor boat ride.

-Indy Speedway: Drive a race car

-Buzz Lightyear: Indoor interactive game

-Pirates: A scurvvy boat ride.

[DLRFantasmic!Dan]

My definition of the rides:

HISTA - 3D movie
Space Mountain - indoor roller coaster in the dark
Autopia - Go karts, bumper cars
Star Tours - Flight simulator
Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters - Slow moving big, interactive video game
Pirates Of The Carribeans - boat ride through a Pirate's life
Matterhorn - Bobsled ride through a mountain, Space Mountain, but OUTDOORS!
Big Thunder Mountain Railroad- Runaway train ride

[sandravb79]

It wasn't the decsription of the rides that confused me (since I didn't read those), it was the way the numbers and letters are placed on the map. Before I had found the ABC commissary counter service at MGM!!! I almost starved to death!
And for some rides it wasn't too clear what the entrance was.

It could also be I didn't see too well because of the Florida sun, but still... Usually I'm not THAT stupid :rolleyes:

[CoffeeGirl]

When:Yesterday, during the rain
Where: the Writer's Stop

Guest walks up to my counter, picks up a map, looks at me and says: So is this, like, the map?

Me: No ma'am it's a rain poncho.

[not my actual answer. *sigh* it was crazy enough in there without me being sarcastic.]

[hhsrat]

When:Yesterday, during the rain
Where: the Writer's Stop

Guest walks up to my counter, picks up a map, looks at me and says: So is this, like, the map?

Me: No ma'am it's a rain poncho.

[not my actual answer. *sigh* it was crazy enough in there without me being sarcastic.]

Sounds like a response I would have given.

(completely un-related PS: If "CoffeeGirl" is who I think it is, I need to call you soon, like a few days ago, it's been far too long since we've talked)

[leftcoaster]

It wasn't the decsription of the rides that confused me (since I didn't read those), it was the way the numbers and letters are placed on the map. Before I had found the ABC commissary counter service at MGM!!! I almost starved to death!
And for some rides it wasn't too clear what the entrance was.

It could also be I didn't see too well because of the Florida sun, but still... Usually I'm not THAT stupid :rolleyes:

You might stave to death even if you find the ABC Commissary easily. :barf: :sick:

[CoffeeGirl]

Here's one that happened today...I didnt have a sarcastic answer though..

Guest: You can only buy the Darth Vader Goofy's at Star Wars Weekend, right?
Me: Yes Sir, thats right.
Guest: And where is it that you can get them?
Me: Wicket's Warehouse (went on to tell him where it was)
Guest. Right then. Can I get one now?
Me: :brick: No sir. Only at SWW. [You just said that yourself! argh]

I went backstage to find that I wasnt the only CM having that trouble with Guests. Some still wanted to know if Wicket's was open now. One CM said she was telling them yes and giving them directions. That cracked me up. We almost had a riot because a guest saw one of the SWW tshirts and demanded that he buy one even tho they are SWW exclusive and we are not allowed to sell them. Sigh. But it was fun! :D:

[IndyandMarion]

ALERT: Possible new HYS in the works. . .

Here's Your Sign: Great "How Are You Allowed To Think" Movie Ride

Translation: Coaster is a dying breed, GMR, here I come!

[Main Streeter]

ALERT: Possible new HYS in the works. . .Perfect! Thanks! New HYS will be appreciated. :cool:

[justafigment84]

ALERT: Possible new HYS in the works. . .

Here's Your Sign: Great "How Are You Allowed To Think" Movie Ride

Translation: Coaster is a dying breed, GMR, here I come!


Your transferring?? Awesome, GMR is fun from what I have been told. One of my fave rides to go visit.

[IRSmart1]

"That's discrimination!"

"No, it isn't. The parking lot is closed to EVERYONE! Have a magical day!" :twisted:

[sandravb79]

You might stave to death even if you find the ABC Commissary easily. :barf: :sick:

Breakfast wasn't TOO bad there... although I preferred the one at Kona Cafe or Tusker House :)

[IndyandMarion]

From the producer of Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga comes an all new epic.

He's moved on from the remains of the Rock n Worthless Coaster and he's coming. . .home.

Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga: Ewoks, Frogs, Snakes, Movies and 12 Minutes of Pointless Fun.

Coming to a message board near you, August 2006.

[CoffeeGirl]

Warning- I had no funny answer. But we all got a kick out of the question.

Writer's Stop
Female Guest approaches me- "Are there more books upstairs?"
Me: "Do what?"
Guest: repeats question
Me: "Um, there is no upstairs" Openly gives her a funny look.
Guest walks off saying something about just wondering, thought maybe I missed something.. She wasnt mad or anything though. But she sure missed *something!*
For those of you who have been in my shop, where would the upstairs even appear to be? The store isnt that big! My fellow CMs and I were trying to figure out where she came up with that...
Also, if anyone has a humorus comeback that I can use next time..I'm sure it will happen again...

[Notatourist]

Here's your comeback...

"Sorry Maam, as you might have noticed, this is a building that has a larger inside, than an outside, so, while it may look to you like we have an upstairs, we actually are larger than the space time continum itself, and therefore, there is only one level to the building, making it that we have no upstairs. Thanks."

She might just get that.

[gurgi]

Warning- I had no funny answer. But we all got a kick out of the question.

Writer's Stop
Female Guest approaches me- "Are there more books upstairs?"
Me: "Do what?"
Guest: repeats question
Me: "Um, there is no upstairs" Openly gives her a funny look.
Guest walks off saying something about just wondering, thought maybe I missed something.. She wasnt mad or anything though. But she sure missed *something!*
For those of you who have been in my shop, where would the upstairs even appear to be? The store isnt that big! My fellow CMs and I were trying to figure out where she came up with that...
Also, if anyone has a humorus comeback that I can use next time..I'm sure it will happen again..."Sorry ma'am, we did have books upstairs but the management decided it wasn't very cost effective to let their resale value slip. You know, with all the damage caused to the merchandse due to rain, sun, and so on that they were exposed to on the roof!"

[Monorail Black]

After reading some of these, I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one getting directions to Universal questions. I got 'em all the time in Monorails.

Guest: Where's the monorail to Universal?
Me: There isn't one. You have to drive there - it's not a Disney park.
Guest: So there isn't a monorail that goes there?
Me: None whatsoever, but I can give you directions if you're driving.
Guest: That's terrible! They shouldn't make you have to drive yourself to the park.
Me: It's a different company's park. Would McDonald's provide shuttle service to the nearest Burger King?
Guest: I didn't realize Disney was so against people going to the other parks.
Me: I'm not against it at all. Universal's a lot of fun. I'll even tell you how to get there, but there isn't a monorail there.
Guest: Well there should be! (walks off in a huff)

[IndyandMarion]

And a certain someone (Not on these boards) wonders why I hate stupid guests so much. . .

[Kwahati]

Non-Disney related, but that's good because then it would've been a CM HYS...

At a local MicroBrewery where a sign is posted just inside the door: "Answer the Question of the Day and get a Free Pint!" The question a few days ago was "Who was the first person to submit a typed manuscript?"

Me: Hey so can we take a stab at answering the question of the day?
Waitress: Sure! What's your guess?
Me: Well, we talked it out and we think it's Samuel Clements [sp?]
Waitress: No, I'm sorry, that's not right.
Me: Well, I guess the question is worded weired, are we counting the printing press? Was it Guttenberg?
Waitress: Nope.
<at this point all three people at my table are just shouting ridiculous answers and being told 'no' to all>
Me: Okay, we give up...who was it?
Waitress: Actually, it was Mark Twain.
Me: In that case, I'll have the Eisbock <beer> and Here's Your Sign!

For those who, like this wonderful waitress, don't know: Mark Twain was the nom-de-plume of Samuel Clements...

[SoarWhoreCoCo]

Happy 4th...and what a day it was ;)

So I am heading out on the bus to westclock tonight and we were talking about how stupid the guests were being today (yes even more-so than normal).

A girl related a HYS moment from TMRWLND:

Guest to Custodial CM: Where is the exit to the park at?
CM: Down main Street past the train station.
SG: No I mean where is it now. When we came in we came in here in TMRWLND
CM: No it has always been in fornt of the train station
SG: Look we all know the park is on a turntable, I want to know where the exit is at now.
This went on for 15 minutes I guess until a manager came up and the whole conversation was repeated.
SG is getting really irate
MGR: I'm sorry your right the park does rotate, but right now for the next 15 minutes the exit is located on main street past the train station so you better hurry!

[justafigment84]

I think what makes that the funniest is that the manager played into their story. Gotta love our guests *eye roll*

[BRWombat]

...MGR: I'm sorry your right the park does rotate, but right now for the next 15 minutes the exit is located on main street past the train station so you better hurry!
Makes you wonder how many times the classic SG comeback, "I know it's true, __________ told me!" is because some exasperated manager once gave in to their delusions like this. :rolleyes:

[IRSmart1]

"How do I get to Knott's Berry Farm?"
"You're a LAZY, LAZY MAN!! You're supposed to help me lift my stroller!!!!"
"How do I get to Chip N' Dales?" - Referring to the parking lot - "It's in Vegas"
"Can I park closer, I just had knee/back/foot surgery YESTERDAY?"
"Where is Goofy Duck?"
"Do the elevators here at the parking structure take us to Disneyland?"
"I have to park closer, I have kids!"
"My vehicle is too tall to park here." ---- "No it isn't. There's NO roof"
"Do the trams take me to 7-11?"

Yes, I have been asked all these questions. Unfortunately, some have be said more than a few times.

[leftcoaster]

Makes you wonder how many times the classic SG comeback, "I know it's true, __________ told me!" is because some exasperated manager once gave in to their delusions like this. :rolleyes:

"I read it on the internet!"
"A CM bus driver told me!"
"A CM tour guide told us!"

[LittleDollClaudia]

I got this one tonight: Are there fireworks during the day?? :eek: Yeah, I'm sure that question never gets old.

[EpcotGolfer]

I got this one tonight: Are there fireworks during the day?? :eek: Yeah, I'm sure that question never gets old.

Actually, I can sort of understand this question being asked if it were at the MK here in Florida, with that stupid Cinderellabration show ending in a mini fireworks display. (Of course, that doesn't apply to you in CA).

[justafigment84]

Actually, I can sort of understand this question being asked if it were at the MK here in Florida, with that stupid Cinderellabration show ending in a mini fireworks display. (Of course, that doesn't apply to you in CA).

Thanks to Cinderellabration I get the people who once they hear those fireworks go off stop what they are doing and say oh its time for the fireworks. Even though it is 3 or 4 in the afternoon. They never cease to amaze me.

[IndyandMarion]

Hey now, I'll stand up for the guests for once (Hey, Ive got a head cold so anything is possible right now).

Disney World did have fireworks during the day. . .Anyone here remember EPCOT's attempt at a full fireworks show during the day over the lagoon?

*Please note: This is not a test to see how old you are, all though if you remember it. . .

[CoffeeGirl]

Got this one today during the torrential downpour that never ended...

SG: "Is there any way you could find out for me if it is raining in Magic Kingdom?"
Me: [I was stunned but didnt let it show] I can tell you that it is definately raining in Magic Kingdom.
SG: " But is there a way to find out for sure?"
Me: *Go there!*

I actually told her, never cracking a smile, that it was indeed raining there and that it wasnt going to stop all day long.



*So Indy, you're at GMR now? What do you do there? I'll have to come see you!

[Notatourist]

Hey now, I'll stand up for the guests for once (Hey, Ive got a head cold so anything is possible right now).

Disney World did have fireworks during the day. . .Anyone here remember EPCOT's attempt at a full fireworks show during the day over the lagoon?

*Please note: This is not a test to see how old you are, all though if you remember it. . .

I do I do...and yes, I am old enough...Do you remember the self propelled planes...that crashed on tourists...

[IndyandMarion]

Self propelled airplanes eh?

I see a new item that my squirrel army could use to their advantage. . .

Yeah, I'm over at GMR, my official return home is tomorrow (July 9th).

I say "return home" because when I started with the company, I worked merchandise for Star Tours and Epic. Since those two are in the same area at GMR, it is in fact, a home coming for me.

[SoarWhoreCoCo]

Hey now, I'll stand up for the guests for once (Hey, Ive got a head cold so anything is possible right now).

Disney World did have fireworks during the day. . .Anyone here remember EPCOT's attempt at a full fireworks show during the day over the lagoon?

*Please note: This is not a test to see how old you are, all though if you remember it. . .

THere were two attempts weren't there one was the "Montster truck/boat show" in the afternoon...the other was SPLASHTACULAR on the fountain stage wasn't it?

[WLStephanie]

I see a new item that my squirrel army could use to their advantage. . .


So that's why Disney Squirrels are so special. They are all part of Indy's army! I was hanging out in EPCOT with my family the other day when all the sudden there was this huge guest traffic jam in front of the temple in Mexico. What caused it? Half a dozen people taking pictures of a "Disney Squirrel". Ugh! It's a squirrel folks. We didn't dress it up in a costume and give it a name. It's just a normal North American squirrel smart enough to make Disney (with all of it's delicious guest discarded crumbs) it's home. Looks pretty much the same as the ones EVERY WHERE ELSE!!!

[IndyandMarion]

And now. . .The moment that you've all been waiting for (And apparently even more so to those who believe me to be a "god"). . .I give you:

Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga: Is This a Movie?

This is a ride, right?
CM: Nope, it's actually a recreation of the line ride, but we added some Disney Magic and added in a movie screen. . .

Does this ride go fast?
CM: No. It's a slow moving one.
So it's not too fast?
CM: If you consider 0-10 miles an hour in 2.5 lightyears fast, then yes!

Is this the Great American Movie Ride?
CM: Nope, that's actually located next to Sounds Dangerous. We finally decided to add another attraction that is as exciting as Sounds Dangerous.

How long is this ride?
CM: Roughly 20 minutes.
So that's like 30 minutes right?
CM: In certain countries, yes.

In the waiting area (where the movie trailers are shown)
Where is the ride?
CM: At the end of the line
Where is the end of the line?
CM: Somewhere between you and the ride

*After the "Anubis Room" scene (Where the bandit/Gangster "dies")
*To the guide* You're supposed to be dead. . .
CM: Am I not? *pats himself on the chest to see if he's a ghost or not*
*Think of the scene from Curse of the Black Pearl, and you'll have the idea of that*

[Ansem]

And now. . .The moment that you've all been waiting for (And apparently even more so to those who believe me to be a "god"). . .I give you:

Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga: Is This a Movie?
And there are thousands of other answers to those same questions... :D: and even more questions to be asked!!! WELCOME TO GMR!!!!

[IndyandMarion]

First off, because of the size of this monster, for those who have skipped a few of the pages, please note that all answers were given in a joking manner, then the real answer was given. Except in the case of the first question in this batch

(Ansem might get a kick out of this) Hello everyone and welcome to The Great Stupid Guest Ride. My name is Indy and I'll be your guide during this magical journey into the stupid questions. It's the perfect job for me because I just hate stupid people!

*Please note, no coffee, not on clock yet*
Guest: Where is the castle? *While standing in front of the hat*
CM: At Magic Kingdom *Really thinking: go to One Man's Dream, there are plenty of them there.*
Guest: How do we get there?
CM: Um, drive?

*While standing in front of THE GREAT MOVIE RIDE sign*
Guest: Is this the Great Movie Ride?
CM: *Looks at sign* Nope, this is actually Muppet Vision 3D.

Guest: *While standing in the preshow* This is a ride, right?
CM: What's the name of the ride?
Guest: The Great Movie Ride.
CM: Then it appears that this is, in fact, a ride.

*Pointing to the Hat*
Guest: Is that a ride?
CM: Yes, if you can climb to the top, then you can slide down the side of it and call it a ride.

Guest: Is it really a 40 min. wait?
CM: Nope, we just post that to give you false hope.

This one wasn't a stupid question or anything, just one that I managed to find a line for:
Guest: Does this ride go fast?
CM: Well. You might need to hang on in certain points. You might be surprised but this ride can go anywhere from about three to a whopping six miles an hour.

[DLRFantasmic!Dan]

Oh, yeah, the imfamous, "Is the line really XXX minutes long???"

Just recently, an hispanic guest came to Buzz to hope he can use a WDW GAC Card.........AT DISNEYLAND!!!!! LOL, Greeter said, "You have to used that in Walt Disney World!

[BRWombat]

*Pointing to the Hat*
Guest: Is that a ride?
CM: Yes, if you can climb to the top, then you can slide down the side of it and call it a ride.
LOL!! Looks like the area change is giving you loads of new material. Thanks for the laughs, Indy!!

[Yeti Chaser]

THere were two attempts weren't there one was the "Montster truck/boat show" in the afternoon...the other was SPLASHTACULAR on the fountain stage wasn't it?Hey now, I'll stand up for the guests for once (Hey, Ive got a head cold so anything is possible right now).

Disney World did have fireworks during the day. . .Anyone here remember EPCOT's attempt at a full fireworks show during the day over the lagoon?

*Please note: This is not a test to see how old you are, all though if you remember it....Oh, I remember that daytime show, and yes it had fireworks. I even have it on video. It dealt with speed boats (bad guys) and powered para sails (good guys aka "Rainbow Warriors")

Garwsh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got to stop this. I might be going insane. :eek: Must be the water I drink. :confused:

[IndyandMarion]

Ansem! Get ready dude. . .

Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga at the Movies. . .

On Augs. 1st, The Great Movie Ride will never be the same again.

[ButImAGoodAP]

OK. Spent the day at Epcot. So much stupid it hurt my head...

Overheard while waiting for Canada movie:

Mom to teenage daughter: Look hon, in Canada they carve their houses out of giant rocks. See? They live in those rock caves.
Daughter: Yeah?... Um... Cool... Is Canada in America?
Mom: No. The United States is America. Mexico is South America. And Canada is North America. Don't you ever pay attention in school?

I am not kidding. My head almost exploded.

[justafigment84]

OK. Spent the day at Epcot. So much stupid it hurt my head...

Overheard while waiting for Canada movie:

Mom to teenage daughter: Look hon, in Canada they carve their houses out of giant rocks. See? They live in those rock caves.
Daughter: Yeah?... Um... Cool... Is Canada in America?
Mom: No. The United States is America. Mexico is South America. And Canada is North America. Don't you ever pay attention in school?

I am not kidding. My head almost exploded.

And they wonder what is wrong with kids today....hmm....lemme think about that one

[Ansem]

Ansem! Get ready dude. . .

Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga at the Movies. . .

On Augs. 1st, The Great Movie Ride will never be the same again.

Waiting patiently.

[BRWombat]

OK. Spent the day at Epcot. So much stupid it hurt my head...

Overheard while waiting for Canada movie:

Mom to teenage daughter: Look hon, in Canada they carve their houses out of giant rocks. See? They live in those rock caves.
Daughter: Yeah?... Um... Cool... Is Canada in America?
Mom: No. The United States is America. Mexico is South America. And Canada is North America. Don't you ever pay attention in school?

I am not kidding. My head almost exploded.
Ouch. That's nuclear-powered stupid right there.

[IndyandMarion]

The jury just came back from debate and have concluded that the encounter that GoodAP had is without a shadow of a doubt, the epitomy of stupid guests.

Had I not spent all night at the Adventurer's Club last night, I might have been able to wrap my mind around the situation. Seeing as I was there all night, I don't have the energy. I have the time, just not the energy.

*Feels branded like the AC cattle* THE DAMN STAMP WON'T COME OFF!
Try soap and water!
:brick: Shut up! I would've tried that. . .eventually.

[CoffeeGirl]

Writer's Stop
Today:

SG: Is that real milk coming from there? *points to capp machine where he had just watched me make a cappucino*
Me: *openly gave him odd look* Yes...it's real...uhh..
SG: Then I'll have a cappucino.

Shoulda been like- Nope, the milk, just like that cookie, is fake. Have a magical day.

Earlier: I had given the Guest her pastries and drinks and was bent down talking to her little girl, when the mom asks if it's all right to go sit at the table and chairs in the back. I look up at her when she says it, then I get up and make sure I heard her correctly. Then I answer in all seriousness that the table and chairs are just props and cannot be sat on. She totally believed me and even looked to the CM beside to see if I was telling the truth. Luckily, Latoya hadnt heard what I had said so it looked like she was agreeing with me. Also luckily, the Guest had a laugh when I said I was kidding.

Want more? A friend of mine got off early tonight but stuck around to hang out with us... We got bored at one point and went back to the office where the manager and another CM were counting and closing. That lead to some interesting stories of our day:

SG at Tatooine Traders: Do you accept cash here?
CM [She *really* said this]: No.

Same CM, but today in Prop Shop:
Was telling a Guest looking for asprin to go down to AFI which is about 10 yards away and could be seen from where they were standing.
SG: How do I get there? (What?!)
My answer: Take the Backlot Tour.

The other CM with us told us that as she was selling water to a family of about 10 today, they all started gasping and exclaiming suddenly. She peered around the cart and there was one of their little boys peeing on the water cart. I liked how she put it to our manager though, "He had just whipped it out and was going right there!" rofl

One more- found this hilarious. I'll change the name of the manager to protect her though.
She was walking to the Fishbowl, their little office, and to get there you have to go behind the queue for the Monsters Inc characters. So as she was unhooking the chain, a Guest in line yells out "Renee!!" Startled at hearing her name, she looked up .. SG: Where'd you get your nametag?!!!
He didnt know her or anything. Guess he thought she was a tourist with a name badge on... She looked at him strangely and said that she worked there. Weirdo.

Hearing and sharing these stories tonight at work was the funniest thing ever. Hope I have more soon... Tomorrow is a 11 hour day... =D

[Main Streeter]

SG at Tatooine Traders: Do you accept cash here? CM [She *really* said this]:No.If I didn't work merch...I'd never believe this one. So funny! A few weeks ago I had a guest ask if we took Visa, MC, or American Express. Told him we take all three. He replied; "No, I don't want you to take my credit cards, but can I pay with them?" :confused: I had absolutely no clever retort. :o:

[yippyskippy]

If I didn't work merch...I'd never believe this one. So funny! A few weeks ago I had a guest ask if we took Visa, MC, or American Express. Told him we take all three. He replied; "No, I don't want you to take my credit cards, but can I pay with them?" :confused: I had absolutely no clever retort. :o:

That's a good one. I remember having similar questions when I worked quick service cashier at MGM, but never like that.

By the way, hi all, I'm new to the stupidguesttricks and love the site! The one I have to stop and make sure I'm keeping a straight face for is when in full (often tacky) costume and a guest stops me, asking if I work here. Like I would choose to wear a pink, purple, teal, and blue shirt on my day off.

[Zazu]

I'm new to the stupidguesttricks and love the site!Glad you could join us. Please don't hesitate to share your own stories of SGs.

The one I have to stop and make sure I'm keeping a straight face for is when in full (often tacky) costume and a guest stops me, asking if I work here. Like I would choose to wear a pink, purple, teal, and blue shirt on my day off.I don't mind the, "Do you work here?" so much any more. Not since I had a guest ask me, "Are you real?"

My answer? "Not according to my wife."

[Purpura]

OOh First Stupid Guest Story!!! Yesterday I was at Refreshment "Coke" Corner. Someone walked up and asked me if they took credit cards and I looked up from where I was wiping down a spot of something or other, and said "Yes sir, we do." This is at Disneyland (If this message needs moving, Please do so :) )

[PirateJohn]

OOh First Stupid Guest Story!!! Yesterday I was at Refreshment "Coke" Corner. Someone walked up and asked me if they took credit cards and I looked up from where I was wiping down a spot of something or other, and said "Yes sir, we do." This is at Disneyland (If this message needs moving, Please do so :) )Not all that dumb a question, really. Not all places at Disneyalnd take them. As far as I know, it's only the ODV carts, but still...

[Polar33]

Not all that dumb a question, really. Not all places at Disneyalnd take them. As far as I know, it's only the ODV carts, but still...I used to have so much fun with that question.

Guest: Do you take credit cards?
Me: I'd be glad to take them from you, but you'll still need cash for payment.

or if I was feeling really jovial:

Me: I'll take them from you, but I'll need to keep to keep the card for processing, in addition I'll also need to know your billing address, social security number, birth date, checking account number, home phone number, mothers maiden name, license plate number, and blood type.

Most of the time people got the joke, but amazingly I once had a guest who said OK and handed me their card. It really shocked me at the time and I wouldn't be surprised if that person winds up as an identity theft victim some day.

[Alyssa3467]

Not all that dumb a question, really. Not all places at Disneyalnd take them. As far as I know, it's only the ODV carts, but still...
It is when you're standing at the registers, and there's a decal with the Visa logo right there... ;)

[LostMalfoy]

I don't mind the, "Do you work here?" so much any more. Not since I had a guest ask me, "Are you real?"

My answer? "Not according to my wife."

I got something similar to that the other day. I was working in Tower and watching one of my cast members for a moment, but apparently I hadn't moved much, if at all, and a large group of guests were coming off the attraction. I decided to move when a lady passed me, and she about had a heart attack.

She looks straight at me and goes, "I thought you were fake!"

I guess a name tag, area costume, and a working radio weren't enough to clue her in.

[IndyandMarion]

I used to do that all the time in Studio C.

I wouldn't move much after the spiel and since it was dark, many believed me to be an AA. When the last few people walked in, many that would stand right next to me would ask others in their party if Im real. I would normally just move my eyes in the AA fashion or not at all (And I can go a while without blinking so it confused them even more).

Many times, I wouldn't have to do anything to scare the people. . .Just standing there not moving was enough.

Course now Im at GMR and it doesn't really work anymore because of how animated I am (Which is apparently enough to make one of the gangsters nearly mess up her show. Caught her trying not to laugh at the movements I was making).

[Main Streeter]

I got something similar to that the other day. I was working in Tower and watching one of my cast members for a moment, but apparently I hadn't moved much, This certainly doesn't sound like you! I've never ever seen you stand still very long On Stage. You're always up to something ;)

[CoffeeGirl]

AFI Showcase Shop

This was a friend of mine... I so wish I could have seen this..

My friend J watches a female Guest in her teens look around the store at the props located above the display shelves. The Guest then goes up to a CM and asks what the film reel canisters contain. The CM replies, Nothing, they are props, blah blah. So the Guest moves on to another CM and asks the same question. She gets the same answer, fake, props, blah. But then she goes over to J and asks. J's reply? "Oh that? That's where we keep the kittens! They're $10 piece!" The Guest totally bought it and if it hadnt been for her mom overhearing the conversation, the Guest would have really thought that AFI sold kittens... Some people. Anyway- my kudos to J for having such an awesome answer!

This was stupid on both my part and the Guests...

I am driving the very heavy, very sloshy LMA watercart up to YouseGuys today, trying not to hit the LMA rush Guests, and trying not to get struck by lightning.
Male Guest: Excuse me, are you selling those?
Me: -looking straight at him- No Ma'am.
I quickly amended my answer but he didnt seem to notice. His wife laughed though. But did it really look like I was selling the water? No. But at least I understand *his* confusion. Not much excuse for mine. lol

One more- I was over by the entrance/exit of the museum where the Backlot Tour Guests come into AFI when something caught my eye. I looked over just in time to see a Guest *slam* face first into the *corner* of the large plexiglass case over the lifetime achievement award thingy. I mean, he ate the thing. I thought it got him in the eye at first. Then he was holding his mouth. I realized what it was that had caught my eye in the first place, he had been running backwards (or something) and had turned and jumped and that's when he hit it. The case moved and everything. I watched him jerk away from his wife when she got near, then I heard her yelling at him. They both stormed out of the store. I would have asked if he needed first aid but he was super angry and I didnt want to go there. I have no idea why he was horsing around like he was. Guess he'll learn for next time. But it was a sight to see...Yeesh

[LostMalfoy]

This certainly doesn't sound like you! I've never ever seen you stand still very long On Stage. You're always up to something ;)

Up to something or not, when three of my cast members are clumping in a corner and having a personal conversation I've repeatedly told them to put on hold, I have the right to glare in their direction for a time.

[yippyskippy]

SG story for a SG that really needed a sign.

At DisneyQuest Coasters we have everyone take their items out of their pockets and put them in a locker so nothing flies out of their pockets. We then give them a key to wear around the wrist for said locker and I tell them it is the only way into the locker to get their stuff out. I loaded SG and his buddy into the coaster and as the door was closing, noticed something was missing from his wrist.

Me: Sir, where is your key?
SG: Oh, its in my pocket.

Me: Would you please put it back on your wrist.

To that guest: here's your sign.

[BRWombat]

Ansem! Get ready dude. . .

Here's Your Sign: The Disney Saga at the Movies. . .

On Augs. 1st, The Great Movie Ride will never be the same again.
The day has arrived, Indy... waiting patiently... :)

[IndyandMarion]

Due to circumstances beyond my control, the latest entry in the Disney Saga has been postponed.

We apologize for this inconvience, and ask that you check back with us later. If you have any questions, please see a cast member. Thank you for your cooperation and have a stupid free day.

[BRWombat]

Due to circumstances beyond my control, the latest entry in the Disney Saga has been postponed.

We apologize for this inconvience, and ask that you check back with us later. If you have any questions, please see a cast member. Thank you for your cooperation and have a stupid free day.Heh. HYS:TDS has gone 101.

[CBeilby]

I'm sorry folks. Unfortunately, at this time, Here's your Sign: The Disney Story is experiencing a temporary delay in operations. I do apologize for the inconvenience. If you come back later, we should be operational again. In the meantime, may I suggest "In 10 words or less, what does SIT DOWN mean to you?" or "Gibson Girl Guests Creative names"?

No, I'm sorry ma'am, I am unable to give you a specific time to come back

I'm sorry that you came all the way from Calcutta just to read this thread, but if you do read your site map, it does note that all threads may be succeptable to unscheduled down time.

Please, sir. That kind of language isn't necessary!

Absolutely, you can go to City Hall and file a complaint. My name's Paul Pressler. Be sure to mention it to them. Have a magical day.

[stephlisa]

i happen to work at DAK's newest attraction Expedition:Everest and because we are outdoors, we go 101 for weather a lot since our summers suck. Anyways, we were 101 and a guest was in the front row and i was standing at Front Dispatch.

it's pouring rain...thunder and lightening...and the SG in row one turns to me, and in the most serious manner asked...."is that rain real or fake?" now, trying to figure out if this guy was serious or not...."yes sir, that would be real rain....why do you ask?" SG: "well, disney makes its own magic...i figured disney could make its own rain"

are you kidding me? we decided to totally ruin YOUR day by making it rain so you can bitch moan and groan to us and threaten to never come back....i wish you would stay the hell away sometimes!

[IndyandMarion]

Looks like TDS will continue to be 101 until further notice. Upon inspection of the thread, it was discovered that Indy may have injured his knee during an attempted (and successful) hijacking of his tour vehicle by the infamous gangster Mugsy at the Great Movie Ride.

He is said to be doing fine at the time of the report but he is still awaiting a possible X-ray to see if there is any signifigant damage.

"I must have hit a support beam when I dove for cover after the shootout began. All I know is that when I dove, my knee felt like it had been taken off. I'm guessing they'll do the x-ray possibly tomorrow, then pending the results, I might be taking some time off. It would be a good thing, because the book could finally get an update. I know it was only a movie but it hurt like hell, and it still does."

*Now if I can just find that damn asprin. . .DAMN YOU MUGSY!*

[Anna]

Stupid guest trick at Universal Studios Orlando: Guest and his family go to ride the Revenge of the Mummy. On that ride all bags must be stowed in the free lockers. Guests looks around and decides that all the lockers are full (which they are not.) He decides that a good place to hide his backpack is in the trashcan. Guest returns after riding only to discover that the trash has been emptied. Guest then goes to guest services to complain about the trash being emptied. Guest claimed it contained his park tickets, credit cards, car keys, clothes, merchandise, and cash. Guest is mad at park employees for emtying the trash and feels he should be reimbursed. :rolleyes:

[justafigment84]

Looks like TDS will continue to be 101 until further notice. Upon inspection of the thread, it was discovered that Indy may have injured his knee during an attempted (and successful) hijacking of his tour vehicle by the infamous gangster Mugsy at the Great Movie Ride.

He is said to be doing fine at the time of the report but he is still awaiting a possible X-ray to see if there is any signifigant damage.

"I must have hit a support beam when I dove for cover after the shootout began. All I know is that when I dove, my knee felt like it had been taken off. I'm guessing they'll do the x-ray possibly tomorrow, then pending the results, I might be taking some time off. It would be a good thing, because the book could finally get an update. I know it was only a movie but it hurt like hell, and it still does."

*Now if I can just find that damn asprin. . .DAMN YOU MUGSY!*

Hope your knee starts feeling better. But enjoy the time off if you get it.

[mechurchlady]

Since I am new to the site, have not been to park for a while, am not a cast member, and not from the east coast then i was lost for a while on what was going on to this funny thread.

I hope your knee heals fine. Be thankful you did not fall into something disgusting like the Canal Boats at DL. I almost did that once and left a chunk of skin, lol. As for the thread I am sure you have enough stored up to keep this site active for 50 years.

From DL here is my guest with a language problem.

At City Hall an Japanese guest asked how to get to Magic Mountain. I and the cast member were left with a dumb founded look as why would you want to go there. After the cast member start to explain about getting on the I5 freeway when the get developed the dumb founded look because he wanted the Matterhorn.

At Big Thunder Ranch was the Billy Hill Show and food sometimes. I heard a guest as if the camp fire was real.

I used to sit at the Christmas tree during parades and heard so many people ask if the tree was real. I then would spout a spiel about resin, wood chips, paint and glue. People actually believed that the tree was man made lol.

Another interesting thing is the trampede at the end of the night at DLR when you see people coming back on the tram because they are parked elsewhere. I never see so many Mickey salutes as at the trampede.
=========

I finally remembered a good one from a guest at The Movie Ride. I was using an ECV so I was way in the back of the ride with a middle aged woman sitting next to me. She got startled and shouted "They're real" or something to that effect when the actors started shooting. I knew about the ride and what to expect but the poor woman like near had a heart attack when the "animatronic characters" turned out to be cast members.

I am up to page 8 and laughing to hard now.

[BRWombat]

Looks like TDS will continue to be 101 until further notice. Upon inspection of the thread, it was discovered that Indy may have injured his knee during an attempted (and successful) hijacking of his tour vehicle by the infamous gangster Mugsy at the Great Movie Ride.

He is said to be doing fine at the time of the report but he is still awaiting a possible X-ray to see if there is any signifigant damage.

"I must have hit a support beam when I dove for cover after the shootout began. All I know is that when I dove, my knee felt like it had been taken off. I'm guessing they'll do the x-ray possibly tomorrow, then pending the results, I might be taking some time off. It would be a good thing, because the book could finally get an update. I know it was only a movie but it hurt like hell, and it still does."

*Now if I can just find that damn asprin. . .DAMN YOU MUGSY!*
YIKES!!! :eek: Very sorry to hear that, Indy. Best wishes on a speedy recovery!!

[IndyandMarion]

Mugsy Arrested While Indy Recovers

In a followup to the report a few days ago that Indy of the Great Movie Ride, SGT and The Disney Saga fame was injured during an escape from the now arrested gangster, Mugsy, a new report states that Indy is doing just fine and is walking around much easier than the previous days. He is still wearing a brace on his leg and does have difficulty moving it at times but he is said to be in good spirits.

"It doesn't hurt like hell anymore. Besides, I've got all the medication I need: A few days off, X-Box 360, a wonderful girlfriend and all the stupid questions I can handle. I'll be back in action on Friday. But this time, the Great Movie Ride is going to have a new movie added. . .Stupid Guest Tricks presents an Indy Production of The Disney Saga: Indy's Revenge".

[WLStephanie]

Hey, Indy!
Did you work Friday afternoon (the 4th?)
I think that you might have been our gangster. We rode at about 5pm-ish. (Came out just in time for the parade, I think)
If it was you, you did a fantastic job.

[yippyskippy]

Take it easy, Indy! Glad to hear you are mending well. =)

Here's a quickie SG tale...

I was doing a first day training at DisneyQuest. While doing my tour of the Explore Zone, a guest stops me with surprise in her voice and eyes:

SG: Oh! You're a person!
Me: Yes, ma'am... I am a person. How can I help you?

I don't think anyone has ever said that to me before.

[LittleDollClaudia]

Oh Indy,
I'm sorry you're hurt. Here, I'll send you a helper until you recover. I trained him myself.

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g271/Morgana5150/ninja_squirrel.jpg

NINJA!!

[IndyandMarion]

Hey, Indy!
Did you work Friday afternoon (the 4th?)
I think that you might have been our gangster. We rode at about 5pm-ish. (Came out just in time for the parade, I think)
If it was you, you did a fantastic job.
Yes, I was working that day but I don't do Gangster/Bandit, only tour guide.

[WLStephanie]

Yes, I was working that day but I don't do Gangster/Bandit, only tour guide.

hmmmm Our tour guide was a chick, so it probably wasn't you unless you were cleverly disguised. LOL. I shall have to ride again. :waves: :turn:

[felinefan]

If a guest ever asked me if a campfire was real, I'd have a heck of a time trying to not tell them to stick their hand in it to find out. :twisted:

[mechurchlady]

The thought did cross my mind about telling them to feel the flames of the campfire but security probably would have took me out the side door to Harbor Blvd.

I wonder why there are not signs all over animals at parks. The draft horses at Disney parks can easily bite off a finger or part of a face and if the step on you then you will be flat footed for a long time. The horses at Disney and Knotts are trained and handle crowds well.

People try to feed the horses and think it is ok to toss their kid on the back of the horses. They run up to the animals and do not understand that horse can get spooked when you wave balloons, toys, clothing and other stuff at the horse. It is a miracle nobody has not been killed by a horse at Disney parks.

The questions can be so silly you would not believe them. It has been a while so I forgot most of them because at Disneyland you get so used to stupid guests who seem to be intent on death or maiming in parks.

[GreetThis!]

Hi - I just found this site and thought of a few I could add.

I was the opening attendant at Ariel’s Grotto and during one of the switch outs; my Photopass person lets me know there is a woman trying to come in through the exit. I go over to see what she needs. (She is actually opening the gate trying to come in.) Keep in mind, Ariel is not completely ready, if you catch me.
Me: Hello, ma’am, can I help you? (Trying to block her view of the grotto.)
SG: Yes, I was told by the other CM that I could come in this way.
Me: Ma’am this is the exit to Ariel’s Grotto.
SG: Yes, I know. I have a foot condition that prevents me from walking and standing and the other handler said I could come in this way.
Me: I am the only one here but just to let you know, our entrance is completely wheelchair accessible. You can go ahead and join the line over there and you won’t have any trouble at all getting into the Grotto.
SG: I don’t have a wheelchair.
Me: I apologize, I thought you just said that you couldn’t walk or stand.
SG: I can’t walk or stand. Are you too stupid to get that?
(I am thinking to myself, yes – I must be as you managed to walk yourself here and are even now standing before me!)
Now, the only people we let enter through the exit at the Grotto are Make a Wish families and we never let ANYONE in during switch out. At this point, she totally looses her cool and is shouting at me that she KNOWS Ariel is in there and that if I don’t get out of the way she is gonna knock me down and go through me. Pretty tough for a woman that can’t walk or stand.
Me: I really apologize ma’am, but I cannot let you come in through the exit. Would you like me to call someone to bring you a wheel chair so that you can use our regular line?
SG: NO. I am gonna march right over to your Guest Relations and let them know what a bad employee they have working here.
Me: Glad to see your condition has made such an improvement~


Working EMH at MK. It is the last set of the night and I have just closed the line for Mickey. As Mickey is walking away, a family comes running up.
SG: Oh, wait. Don’t go. We have been here for 2 weeks, we leave tomorrow and we haven’t seen Mickey ANYWHERE.
Me: Wow! Two whole weeks and you didn’t see Mickey anywhere?
SG: No. And we looked everywhere, too.
Me: Poor Mickey must not have been much of a priority this trip. And he works so hard at being available to all. Sorry, guys.
(Seriously, there is no way you could be here for two weeks and not find Mickey.)


Working with Pluto in Tormorrowland. (Standard Pluto, not Space Pluto, but I won’t get started on that.) It is time for a switch out and I have just announced that Pluto will be right back. As we are walking away, a man comes up and grabs my arm.
SG: Is he leaving? He can’t leave. My son HAS to see him – he is his favorite.
Me: Sir, we are just…
SG: No, none of your excuses. Get him back here right now. We came all this way for my son to see his favorite character and you’re not going to stop him.
Me: (still trying to explain that we will be right back). Sir, we are just going…
SG: You aren’t going anywhere! I told you – my son wants to see Goofy and see Goofy is what he is going to do!
Me: In that case, sir. May I suggest you head back up Main Street to Town Square.
SG: Why would I want to do that?
Me: Because that is where Goofy is hanging out today. This is Pluto.

[BRWombat]

Hi - I just found this site and thought of a few I could add....
GreetThis! - love your name, and great stories! :eek: Welcome to SGT!

[bingie]

So, whats the rules if a guest "assaults" you (touching, grabbing...etc)??

(great stories btw!)

[joanna71985]

Hi - I just found this site and thought of a few I could add.

Those are great stories. I can't even start to tell you how many times I have had guests call the characters by the wrong names. Let me see: I have had Pluto be called Goofy (like you said), Gov. Ratcliff be called Captain Hook, Chip and Dale be called squirels, woodchucks, and beavers :confused: ,and no one knows who Friar Tuck is, so we won't go there. Also, I love how guests keep asking the same stupid questions- "is it hot in there?", "is there any AC?", "do those suits get hot?". People- I am not going to answer those questions. Why do you even ask?

[Zazu]

So, whats the rules if a guest "assaults" you (touching, grabbing...etc)?Same as they are in the real world. I call the sherrif and have them charged with assault.

No, that's not quite true. If I'm not actually hurt, I just shut down the attraction and call security. If they agree to toss the guest out of the park, so be it. If they aren't willing to do so, *then* I call the sherrif.

And if I or another CM is actually injured, then I just dial 911 and call in both sherrif and alpha units.

Of course, if a manager shows up, they may try to argue with me about it, but so far this plan has worked just fine.

[CoffeeGirl]

Wrong place at the wrong time-

The other night I was in AFI, the store that the backlot Tour exits into. It had been really slow all day and it was almost time to close. So I wandered through the museum and out to the unload dock to ask the CM there how many trams were left. The CM was down at the other end and hadnt seen me yet, so I just stood patiently in the doorway. Suddenly, this woman on a mission comes barrelling around the corner through the museum. I turn to smile and greet her when she starts barking at me "Mary- Where's Mary?! Mary!"
Me: *who is this nutjob?* Mary?
SG: Mary, she works here. Where is she??? *Looking around frantically, still barking orders*
Me: I dont work back here, but I'm sure we could find her for you. What do ...
SG: I need Mary! She wears a yellow shirt and works with you...she told me we could come back through this way. There's 19 of us and we need to get on the Backlot tour right NOW> We had an emergency and had to leave, but now we're back. Mary knows our situation!! Where's Mary????"
By this time the Backlot CM has spotted me and I kindly steer the loud woman toward him with an appologetic look in his direction. Luckily I think he had heard about them coming back there and as she began to tell him the whole emergency story, he politely cut her off and pointed her to the tram. Then the other 18 people in her group bounded through the museum and back to the Tram. Sheesh, I didnt know the Backlot Tour was such a big deal! I find it rather boring, but maybe it was worth their trouble. <snicker>
Found out when they left that the poor Backlot CM was actually a GMR CM and had only been there in red for an hour. He was very nice though and kept me updated on how many trams were left. Indy, ya might know him! If ya do, I'll give ya his name and such and you can tell him thanks for me!

[Purpura]

So, whats the rules if a guest "assaults" you (touching, grabbing...etc)??

(great stories btw!)I was walking to my work site yesterday and about to go backstage to get to the lockers near a break room (Disneyland) and a young boy was putting on a large hat, and walking towards me at the same time. We accidentally collided, the boy being half my size, I stepped back looked down as he adjusted his hat and asked if he were alright. His mom noticed and asked if I were alright. I said I was.

[GreetThis!]

So, whats the rules if a guest "assaults" you (touching, grabbing...etc)??

(great stories btw!)sorry - I know this is off topic but to answer your question. This is a tough call for greeters. (Oops - sorry. I keep forgetting that we are attendants now!) We usually have to let the little stuff go (grabbing my arm for example) because there is just no one around to report it to and have it taken care of in a timely manner.

It seems that when things tend to escalate in our lines and we never have a manager/captain or even security near-by. We also are not in locations where there is a phone handy and very few of us carry radios.

I know of one greeter in Town Square that had a man get mad because we had just finished the last set before parade and would be gone for an hour. He got very verbally aggressive and said he was going to hit her and started to raise his hand at her.

There was no one there and she literally felt threatened to the point where she was shouting out to anyone "Help! I need security! Help! I need a manager!" Luckily this scared the guy off so she wasn't assualted, but on the flip side - he did not get any repurcussion either.

[Cygnus]

Hello fellow CMs, first post (more or less). Been reading the forum for over a year now, just felt it was about time to add my buck o'five.
I did my CP in Operations in Fantasyland at MK, which was usually a blast. Not for the work, but for the people watching, and for listening to just how stupid most can be. I get the feeling that many are just as dumb, even when they're not on vacation. Thought I'd share a few with you. . .

While running panel on the Winnie the Pooh ride in Fantasyland at MK, I had a mother lean over the front and half-whisper to me,
Mother: "I don't want to say anything out loud, but I know that this is the ride that kid died on."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Mother: "This is the ride that kid died on."
Me: Thinking to myself *who the heck died recently??? Oh yes,* "No ma'am, you're thinking of Mission: Space at Epcot. Different park."
Mother: "That's OK, I understand if you can't admit it out loud."
Nobody has ever died on Winnie the Pooh and when someone does, it will be due to their own negligence and stupidity, or natural causes.

More WtP (This time, I'm on the unload panel):
Mother: "That ride was too fast.You guys need to slow it down.Somebody speeded it up.It didn't use to be that fast.I think we should be able to go on again because it was too fast."
Me (gives her a quizzical look): "The ride only goes one speed ma'am. We have no control over it."
Mother: "Well you need to slow it down because the kids couldn't read everything when they went through it.It was too fast.We want antother ride at a slower speed."
Me: "Well ma'am, if you could see everything on the first time through, there wouldn't be any reason to ever ride it again now would there?"
Mother storms off with brood in tow, still complaining. No, I'm not going to let you ride again for a ridiculous excuse like that one. Try again later.
The rides are controlled by computers running software written by Disney Scientific Systems. Considering what the software does, it's highly secure, controlled, and pretty much NEVER changes once it gets to a workable state. To adjust the speed of the ride, I'd have to rewrite and recompile that software (first I'd have to study up on ladder logic programming and then find where the speed controls are). I kinda like my job so I'm not even going to think about doing things like that. It's one thing when a child is scared that the Barnstormer is too fast so we make a big show of putting it in 'slow mode', but this woman was just nuts.

Another situation:
While holding down the floor as greeter at the Hall of Fame in Toontown at MK, I heard one of those British soccer hooligan fathers ask his kids if they wanted to go see "Princesses, Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore, or Donald and Girl Mickey (Minnie Mouse)."
Yes, he earned the title 'British soccer hooligan'. I had a Coordinator from England that pitched a fit every time we called him 'British'. He always asserted that he was 'English'. When I asked him what the difference was, he asked me if I was a redneck. Point taken.

I think my favorite however happened last summer. . .
I had literally just clocked in and was walking over to FSky strollers down a hot, humid, nasty, sweaty, crowded street when someone came running up to me and said that there was a woman 'over there' that needed help. I looked to where the guest was pointing and sure enough, there was a seriously 'luxurious' woman (Disney euphemism for obese) with a face redder than the angry smiley :mad: . Crap, another one that doesn't understand Florida weather, or anything about the weather for that matter. Anyway, I guided her and her family (at least they were giving her a hand, I have other stories about similar situations that will make you sick) over to the bench in front of FSky, sat her down and got her a towel full of ice from the ice cream vendor there. I also asked if he would call an alpha unit and my manager. In the meantime, I was standing near them, like I'm supposed to do in these situations, keeping the crowd away, making sure she doesn't get any worse, and asking the family if they need anything until the alpha unit gets there when a guy comes up to me. . .
Guest: "Where's my stroller."
Me: "Was this a Disney stroller or your personal one?"
Guest: "One of the blue ones (park stroller)"
Me: "OK, where did you park it last?"
Guest: "It was in this lot, now it's not there any more."
Me: "Are you sure? We move the strollers around inside there pretty often to make room for new ones coming in."
Guest: "You MOVED my stroller? You can't do that!"
Me: "Two things, number one, that's Disney property and number two, if it's parked in the wrong place, I can move it, now are you sure it was in this lot?"
Guest: "Yes."
Me: "Then it probably got moved, but it would still be in there somewhere."
couple of beats
Guest (obviously expecting me to go find it for him) "Well why are you just standing there?!?"
Me: (giving him an incredulous look) "Because I've got a medical emergency here." (I'm standing over a woman whose face is so red she could attend a costume party as a devil or a tomato without the need for makeup).
Guest: "Oh. Well you shouldn't be moving people's strollers around!"
At which point I turned away from him and refused to acknowledge him any more.

[LittleDollClaudia]

I love that. The fact that someone stood there and expected you to stop helping a guest in trouble to fix their petty issue. "I'm sorry, ma'am keep having your heart attack or whatever other ailment while I assist this braindead person for just a moment. I'll be back to drag your corpse to First Aid, thank you and have a Disney day!" GRRRR Happens to me all the time at my work too. My guests can see I am the only one here and get all pissed off even when I say I'll be right with them. I was told to hurry up because the kids were asleep in the car and they really needed to get into the room. I'm thinking hold on. It doesn't take both Mom and Dad to check into a hotel room, does it? Be a flippin' parent!! You are going to have your kids with you for eighteen years but you can't wait five minutes while I help the guest in front of you? I don't get it.

[BRWombat]

Great post, Cygnus. And I love the "luxurious" euphemism, never heard that before. Does that apply to male guests, too? 'Cause if so, I'd be "extra-luxurious".

[bpgstudios]

A fun HYS moment in Fantasyland.

SG: (at the enterance to Peter Pans Flight) When does the next show start?
CM: Its actually a continuously moving ride, and our wait time is about 50 minutes.
SG: So it starts in 50 minutes?
CM: No, the wait to get onto this RIDE is 50 minutes.
SG: Can I make line now?
CM: Of course you can.
*SG Enters the queue, comes back less than 2 minutes later to me*
SG: I think I will come back in 50 minutes when the show starts.
CM: This isn't a show ma'am, this is a ride. The wait will still be 50 minutes when you come back, since the RIDE is continuously moving.
SG: But you said it was 50 minutes until the show..
CM: No, I said it was a 50 minute wait (now I just decide to use her vocabulary) to get to the start of the show. Shows are continuously running every couple of seconds.
SG: What kind of a show starts every couple of seconds? This sounds like a ride!
CM: Heres your sign.

BTW i hate the phrase "Make line." It sounds like a codeword for using the bathroom. "Mommy, I'm making line all by myself in the potty!"

[SpaceMagic]

I had a list the other day but I lost it somewhere or other but here are my favorites so far:

Where's the university of energy?

How do you get to walmart from here?

Does the monorail go to walmart?

Can I get to universal from the monorail?

Where's the exit?!! (OMG THE SAME FUCKING WAY YOU CAME THROUGH YOU NUT!!)

At the house of innoventions: "is this a ride?"

OH OH!!! WHERE IS LIVING WITH THE SEAS?

Where's Crush?

Where can I get a chocolate chip cookie? XD!!

Where is #6? (I don't memorize maps ma'am you're out of luck.")

OMG!! While doing wristbands in Mexico, we set up in front of the oddessy building and I've had a few guest ask me what the wait time from there to test track was......

While holding EMH wristbands.....the guest will proceed to ask me "is this where I get wristbands?"

"Where are the nearest restrooms?" *from showcase plaza I point to the oddessy building.

Guest: Are you fucking shitting me??

:roll: I wish I could really really respond to that one.....

Where's SAURUS? >_>; I suppose they were meaning sorin

"Where can I get a turkey?"

Where's space mickey? ........ummm in space?

Can I have the whole list for the resturaunts here? as in the menus for all the resturants sir? shoot me

Where can I get the test past to the fast track??one of my favorites!!

At where's the fire at innoventions : Do I need clothes for this??

How much are the tickets to universal and seaworld and can I buy them here?

DO YOU WORK HERE?? (no seriously, I love wearing vest and polo shirts in the freaking summer! =D

At opps city in innoventions : AFTER EXPLAINING THE FREAKING GAME....THEY ASK ME "SO WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?"

And I have many more but I'll end it with a idiot kid remark.....

In front of innoventions there's this Sign that looks like a jungle jim....

I see the kid climbing it (no parents in sight of course) and I tell him
"Okay sweety, this isn't a jungle jim, please get down from there before you hit yourself."

He responds "I know this isn't a jungle jim." "I'm trying to get to the top "while the kid points up."

I was like get down from there now!!!

[Dack48]

SpaceMagic, are you an Innoventions Cast Member, or in Entertainment? I worked at Innoventions back in 2002 on the College Program! A LOT has changed from my days, but boy do you miss the vest after a while. Are Deidre and John Eric still working there?

[PrincessJasmine1972]

I just got done reading most of this thread and I think its HILARIOUS! Granted I am not a CM and I have never been to WDW or DL, but still..very funny stuff! I love to read stuff like this and thats why I joined this board.. :) Keep the funnies coming!

[mechurchlady]

A lot of people like to climb to the top of "CALIFORNIA" sculpture in front of DCA and then act like the jungle gym person. They want to get to the top, a great picture and "if Disney did not want them climbing on it there would be a fence or it would not be there".

does anyone know where the restroom is? Oh the door with the lady on it.

[IRSmart1]

this one is from a awhile back. i was working in a hotel that has only 2 small elevators for 500 rooms. needless to say, after the fireworks they would become flooded for an hour and we have no stairs to get to the upper levels. guests would become so irate and rude and take out their aggression on the front desk/guest service/ bell staff. one day a particualry nascar type gentleman walked up to a fellow cast member and said " do you know you built this hotel with only 2 elevators???? why did you do this to me??!!!" at which the cm who this comment was being directed said." sir, i only built this hotel to annoy you. that is why i only put 2 elevators in it. it's also why i didn't put any elevators in my parking garage either. i planned this all out over 20 years just to ruin your vacation. my dream is now complete." he was so pissed beyond comprehension that i thought his head was going to explode. the guest then stormed off back towards the elevator line yelling the whole way. other guests then basically told him to shut up.

Oh this is awesome. I would've loved to see the look on the guy's face. :twisted:

[Employee_formerly_knownas]

Ahhh yep bask in the infinite stupidity of the Florida tourist!

[Yeti Chaser]

I just got done reading most of this thread and I think its HILARIOUS! Granted I am not a CM and I have never been to WDW or DL, but still..very funny stuff! I love to read stuff like this and thats why I joined this board.. :) Keep the funnies coming!

We could never make any of this up. However if we ever compiled all of these tales into a book the book would be:
1) probably longer than War and Peace
2) Listed as fictional humor because very few outside of CM's and and folks like you would believe this could ever happen

Just some thoughts from a stark raving mad CM :sparky: :voodoo: :D:

[Kwahati]

Just some thoughts from a stark raving mad CM

'But I don't want to go among mad people.'
'Oh you can't help that. We're all mad here. As you can see, I'm not quite all there myself!' :cheshire:

[joanna71985]

I just thought of one (well, 2 actually) and both came from the same guest.

*Storyline*
I was working at the Teacups with the Tweedles, and it was DARK outside. It was about to rain any second. We went in for tea, and it still hadn't rained yet. Anyway, when we came back out a few minutes later, it started to rain- hard. There was only 2 families in the line, so I told them we would do the 2 families and scram! So I cut the line (cue in SG). I told her we were going in because of the rain and she said "Oh, the rain won't hurt them". (Do you think she would have done a :eek: if I told her how much the costumes cost?). So I am "I'm sorry but we have to go in". Then she says (and this is the really stupid one) "but they are covered" (for the reference, for those who don't know the layout, the "covering" is standing under a tree . And where do you NOT want to stand during a storm? :rolleyes: ). I just look at her, and say again "I'm sorry, but we are going in".

[tacoboy]

while on vacation at six flags great adventure:
i was wearing my nametag over civilian clothes and was walking through the park for the first time when a guest comes up to me and asks
guest: excuse me, where is hydra:the revenge?
(GAdv is in NJ, Hydra is in PA)
me: sir, you're in the wrong state!

[darph nader]

Ahhh yep bask in the infinite stupidity of the Florida tourist!

Ah not the Florida tourist. My 2 favorites are,

#1 at Hoover dam."Can you still use the water after you've taken the electricty out of it?"

# 2 at Meteor crater in Az."Wow,it just missed the highway."

This is no shit,real questoins/comments made by tourists. :eek:

[mechurchlady]

Californians are dumber for sure.

In line behind a dude at the pharmacy where there are big signs saying pick up and drop off. Ten minutes in liine and I finally see he has prescription. i told him where to go.

Blockbuster video and the sign says "PUSH" so a dude pulls on the door and it does not budge. Like they are closed he says. Note the big sign on the side of the door that says the time. I stroll in the door with a gentle push and a snicker.

My ex-neighbor had an electric ignition gas stove and the power was out. Oh dear she cannot cook dinner. All she had to do was turn on the gas and throw a lit match at the burner.

Californians are dumber.

[EddyGirl]

here's a few of my favorites from d-land...

Guest: (standing in the middle of main street, wearing a d-land sweatshirt, and the golden ears) where is disneyland?
my friend: are you serious?
guest: um yes? where is disneyland?
my friend: i'm sorry, i have to walk away now...

Guest: (at about 7-7:30ish) where are the fireworks?
me: in their tubes.
Guest: huh? where will they be showing?
me: in the sky.
Guest: where can i see them?
me: huh?

Guest: can i have a cherrio?
me: i'm sorry, i dont sell cereal.

me: (selling churros at churros 2 ((in tomorrowland)) in which the cart has in BIG, BOLD letters the word CHURROS on the side of it)
Guest: where can i buy a churro?
me: well, you're going to go up this pathway, follow it around the Matterhorn and there will be a churro cart just to the right of the end of that pathway.
Guest: thank you. (walks away)

((i dont know if this one has ever really happened, but i've heard it from one of the FM busser leads and have always been tempted to say it.))
Guest: (at the carts near the New Orleans train station or French Market) where are the bathrooms?
vendor or busser: well, you're going to get onto the train, ride it til you get the forth stop, get off and make a right.

Guest: (sitting infront of the castle next to the churro wagon, waiting for fireworks to start at 9:25. sees pyro from fantasmic at approx 9:15, turns to me and kinda jokingly asks) was that the fireworks?
me: (very seriously) yes. that was the whole fireworks show. didnt you know that you were supposed to be near the rivers of america?
Guest: (looks very very sad and kinda confused) really? that sucks.
((i finally couldnt hold back anymore and i laughed and told them i was kidding. they laughed with me and said that i really had them going.))

[leftcoaster]

Blockbuster video and the sign says "PUSH" so a dude pulls on the door and it does not budge. Like they are closed he says. Note the big sign on the side of the door that says the time. I stroll in the door with a gentle push and a snicker.



I guess he graduated from the Gary Larson "School for the Gifted," eh ?

[disneygeek]

26. (While waiting to escort the next wheelchair party, which was located near a concession stand) "Are you in line?"
"Nope. Just a strange coincidence that I'm wearing the exact same thing as the people who work here"


I've gotten this! I work at Wal*Mart (all the soul-less evil of working for Disney and none of the fun!) I have to wear a god-awful blue smock with "May I Help You?" on the back. People have come up to me and asked; "Do you work here?" I keep wanting to answer; "No. Tacky blue Wal*Mart smocks are the latest fashion craze... I think everyone should wear them!" :twisted:

[disneygeek]

Ah not the Florida tourist. My 2 favorites are,

#1 at Hoover dam."Can you still use the water after you've taken the electricty out of it?"

# 2 at Meteor crater in Az."Wow,it just missed the highway."

This is no shit,real questoins/comments made by tourists. :eek:

My brother-in-law used to work for the Mansion tours in Newport. After taking the Rosecliff tour, we needed to use the "facilities" and he showed up the break room. They had a book of stupid questions there too!

My two favorites; How much does the house weigh?

and

Do the Vanderbilts still live in the house?
(Why yes! We shunt them from room to room so you don't see them!)

:D:

[disneygeek]

Guest: Which way to the monorail?
Me: We dont have a monorail here at the Studios
Guest: Yes you do! I came here this morning on one!
Me: Oh, we tore that one down a few hours ago.



This isn't a SGT, but you reminded me of it. I miss the old "live" Muppet show that the Studio used to run. At one point Kermit asks Floyd where the rest of the band is, he says they're coming in on the monorail. Kermit protests that the monorail doesn't stop there!

*CRASH* A life-sized model of the monorail comes through one of the stage walls!

Floyd: It does now!

;)

[IndyandMarion]

Sigh

Sadly enough, I remember that show.

Ah the good ol days when the Disney/MGM Studios was a real working studio and not a park posing as one.

[Syndrome]

Ah the good ol days when the Disney/MGM Studios was a real working studio and not a park posing as one.

AMEN!!! AMEN!!! AMEN!!!

[IndyandMarion]

Last night at the comedy warehouse:

Is this a comedy club?
Nope, its the processing area for small world

Its nothing big but damn it, it was funny for some reason.


Thundercat, didn't recognize me last night I suppose. Didn't know you were an adventurer as well.

Kungaloosh

[felinefan]

As for Californians being dumber--I'd have to say, it depends on which Californians you're talking about. Yeah, we got our share of airheads and space cadets, but don't forget we have a number of fine educational, scientific and cultural attractions, better weather than most of the country, and agriculture is our number one industry (and you thought it was entertainment!). Don't judge a state's people by the rejects you encounter.

[bpgstudios]

Second-hand HYS from Night of Youknowwhat

Location Toontown Rope, telling people toontown is closed for the event.

SG: Is toontown closed?
CM: Yes, toontown is closed unfortunately.
SG: So Space Mountain is closed?
CM: No, Space Mountain is open, it's in tomorrowland down thatway.
SG: Why are the racecars running then? (meaning Indy Speedway)
CM: Because that attraction is in tomorrowland.
SG: But you said tomorrowland was closed...
CM: No, toontown is closed. Tomorrowland is open.
SG: So then Space Mountain is closed?
CM: Yes.

Location: Small World Greeter

SG: (Under small world marquee) Where is "it's a small world"?
CM: Right here.
SG: No, "it's a small world"...where is it?
CM: OK what you want to do is go down to your left, through the breezway to liberty square. stay to your left and when you reach the center of the park, go straight across towards cosmic rays, when you get to the teacups, make a left past winnie the pooh, snow white, around the carousel and infront of dumbo, until you see Peter Pan's flight on your left. It's directly across the street. *points up hoping they get the joke and realize they sent them in a circle*
SG: *walks away as a rotation goes through*

I dont know how true these stories are since I heard them secondhand. Either way, their still hilarious.

[IndyandMarion]

As for Californians being dumber--I'd have to say, it depends on which Californians you're talking about. Yeah, we got our share of airheads and space cadets, but don't forget we have a number of fine educational, scientific and cultural attractions, better weather than most of the country, and agriculture is our number one industry (and you thought it was entertainment!). Don't judge a state's people by the rejects you encounter.
Um, look. Here's the deal, you don't want us to judge? How can we not? Listen, Arnold Schwarzenegger is the governer of your state. . .

What else is there to say?

-Lewis Black

[ThunderCat]

Thundercat, didn't recognize me last night I suppose. Didn't know you were an adventurer as well.
Dagnabbit, you should have come over - Taryn and I were having a grand time at the AC!

[IndyandMarion]

After Samantha's show I said hi to you as we were walking out. But like I said, you didn't recognize me.

[Celerystalker]

Alright. I leave in ten days. I promise not to make any stupid guest tricks.
I will NOT ask where the bathroom is. I will whimper and cross my legs while stumbling around like a good guest. :D:
I will NOT ask any CM if it's really a 30 minute wait for TOT.
I will NOT ask any CM what time the 3:00 parade is.
So which attractions are you people working at now so I know who to look for?
I'll be good! I promise!

[ThunderCat]

I will NOT ask where the bathroom is. I will whimper and cross my legs while stumbling around like a good guest. :D:
Feel free to ask where the bathroom is. We don't mind -- just make sure you're not standing in front of the bathrooms when you ask. :D:

[CBeilby]

Feel free to ask where the bathroom is. We don't mind -- just make sure you're not standing in front of the bathrooms when you ask. :D:

Granted, although in all fairness, (and this is coming from a former Custodial host,) some of the restrooms are pretty damn hard to find, even when you are standing right in front of them.

A good example is on our Main Street at DLR. We have four restrooms on Main Street at City Hall, the Bank, behind the dining terrace for Carnation Cafe, and just before the entrance to Tomorrowland behind Plaza Inn. Of those, the Bank restroom is hard to see, and the one at Carnation Cafe you wouldn't be able to find if you don't know about it. Another good example is Critter Country. One restroom for the whole land, and that's hidden on the lower level of Hungry Bear Restaraunt.

[felinefan]

Um, look. Here's the deal, you don't want us to judge? How can we not? Listen, Arnold Schwarzenegger is the governer of your state. . .

What else is there to say?

-Lewis Black
Listen, you weren't living in California when Arnie's predecessor, Gray Davis, was in office. Stupid idiot taxed most of the jobs right out of the state. Since Arnie's been in office, businesses are coming back; now we just need to take care of the illegal immigrant problem, and there should be enough jobs for everyone. So what if he pronounces our state as "Cal-lee-forn-ya", when the correct pronunciation is "Calli-fornya".

[mechurchlady]

http://www.mouseplanet.com/potties/
That has everything you need or do not need to know about Disneyland restrooms.

Critter Country bathroom is is a dark area and looks like a staff entrance to the restaurant. It says "Powder Room" for the ladies, like what is that lol. It is not someplace you would want to go at night, too dark.

The two restrooms on Tom Sawyer Island are not handicapped assessible.

I seen people walk right past the restrooms at New Orleans Square because of the signage.

Club 33 is in French so I am a Dames, yeah say that to me in the parking lot.

Across from the Matterhorn and near Alice in Wonderland is a bathroom with two exits. Nothing like watching people come out looking for someone they went in with, especially kids.

MY RANT
It has been a couple years but here is what really irked me. They fenced off the entrance to the bathroom under the skyway. Now you have to start at the Autopia entrance and the walk between Innoventions and the hat shop. The doors hang from the ceiling and with time did not fit properly. The first four or five would pop open and one would not stay locked. You walk in, sit down and pop goes the door and your dignity. Complaining did nothing.

And what is it with the big gaps in bathroom doors, kids are staring at me, go away please. Disneyland signage for bathroom is often confusing and they do not use a standard language. How is a foreigner supposed to know that princess, dames, and powder room are for ladies? Great art work but get real and realize that people cannot find bathrooms because you hide them in dark corners, poorly lit areas, use crazy names for restrooms, and do not have signage large enough to be seen by a passerby on the main walk way.